How can you not understand? Mark slammed his hand on the steering wheel. This will ruin our marriage!
No, sighed Emily. It wont.
She regretted coming. He had asked for help closing up their holiday cottage for winter, and shed agreed. But four hours trapped together in a car was too much.
It was late autumn, cold and damp. Rain had poured all week, but today, the skies cleared. Side by side, they prepared the cottage: packing away dry goods (leaving them would attract mice), sealing the shutters, draining the taps. It felt to Emily like they were draining the life from the house, forcing it into hibernation until spring.
As they left, the sun broke through, illuminating the rows of empty cottages. Theirs looked hunched and lonely. Tears pricked her eyes.
She buckled into the car, struck by a thoughtshe was that house. Standing, intact, but lifeless inside. The windows dark, the shutters nailed shut. And just as slumped.
Their marriage was suffocating. She had wanted out for years but didnt know how to escape.
From day two, it had been unbearable.
You left the shower curtain open, Mark had snapped. Waters dripping. Fix it.
She did, baffled. Why couldnt he? It took a second.
Come here, he called from the kitchen. Why did you open a new milk carton?
I didnt see the other one.
What were you looking with?
Her eyes, obviously.
Is your vision alright? His tone dripped false concern.
Fine.
Is the carton invisible, then?
Shed cried, confused. What crime had she committed?
He did this constantlymocked her, demanded corrections, asked, Do you understand? Hed sneer, Are you even normal?
By year two, she wasnt sure.
Then she learned the word *gaslighting*. Psychological abuse that made her doubt her own sanity.
At work, she was sharp, efficient. At home, she flinched at his voice.
Come here.
*What did I do now?*
Her survival trick: on bad days, do *something*. Clean a shelf, bake a pie, fold laundry. When the weight crushed her, shed cling to those small victories. *I did this. Today mattered.*
Why are you staring at the windowsill?
Because shed cleared it. It was proof she wasnt useless.
Then came the job offer.
Another city. Four hours away.
She accepted instantly.
It felt like divorcebut the choice wasnt hers. Perfect.
Mark raged. This will ruin us!
No, she said softly. It wont.
Once, at a childs birthday party, she watched a science show. The entertainer asked, At what temperature does liquid nitrogen boil?
The kids, clueless, guessed wildly.
It struck her: marriage was like this. Meant for adults, but stifling. A bus with locked windows, everyone arguing over air. Shed boarded thinking it was spacious, scenic. Instead, it was a trap.
*Distance wont kill us. You did that long ago. You needed me not to love, but to control. Im not brokenyou made me believe I was. A second milk carton isnt a crime. Its just milk.*
*Im sealing myself away in this marriage, like that cottage. But I wont wait for spring. Im leaving.*
At a red light, she unbuckled and stepped out. The most dangerous place in the world was beside him.
**Sometimes, walking away isnt surrender. Its survival.**
