**Diary Entry 15th October**
You dont know how to forgive, my friend said before crossing me off the guest list.
Helen, are you seriously still angry with me? Margaret perched on the edge of the sofa, fingers twisting the strap of her handbag. Its been six months!
Six months isnt long enough to forget betrayal, Helen replied coldly, not looking up from the ironing. Steam hissed against the crisp white blouse.
Thats ridiculous! What betrayal? It wasnt intentional
Wasnt it? Helen finally met her gaze. Margaret, you spent three months seeing my husband. Three months sneaking off to the cottage *we* rented together. Three months lying straight to my face, pretending things were fine with Richard. While all along
She didnt finish, turning back to the iron. Margaret swallowed hard.
Helen, you *know* me. I cant just sit at home waiting. Richards always away on business. I was lonely.
So you decided to pass the time with *my* husband. How original.
It just happened! We talked, he understood me, and then
Then you went to the cottage and slept in *my* bed.
Margaret flushed. How did you?
Mrs. Thompson from next door saw you. Called me straight away, describing some man at our place. At first, I thought it was Richarduntil I heard the details. Helen switched off the iron, hanging the blouse. Her hands trembled slightly.
Lets talk properly, Margaret pleaded, stepping closer. Weve been friends since uni. Are you really going to throw that away over one mistake?
One mistake? Helen spun around. You slept with my husband! In *my* bed! And you call that a *mistake*?
Keep your voice downthe neighbours will hear!
I dont *care*! You stole him from me!
I didnt steal anyone! Margaret shot back. Maybe if youd put in the effortwhen was the last time you dressed up? Asked about *his* day? Youre always in those shapeless jumpers, hair a mess
Helen went pale. So its *my* fault he cheated?
Im just saying men need attention. You were too wrapped up in work.
Ah, I see. Bad wife, good mistress. How fair.
Thats not what I meant!
Then explain. Did you have some *right* to him because I wasnt perfect enough?
Margaret hesitated. This wasnt going how shed hoped.
I just want things back to normal.
Normal? Helen laughed bitterly. Will you give me back my husband, *exactly* as he was?
He *chose* you! He said it was a mistake!
And now every time hes late, I wonder: *Which friend is he with this time?* Every call from you ties my stomach in knots.
Margaret sank onto the sofa. I know youre hurt. But you cant hold a grudge forever. Forgiveness is
Forgiveness? Helen tasted the word. That requires remorse. Youre not apologising. Youre justifying.
I never said I had the right
You implied it. My flaws made his affair *inevitable*. My mistakes were *your* opportunity.
Margaret opened her mouththen shut it. Helen was right.
Fine. Suppose I was wrong. Forgive me. Lets move on.
There it is, Helen sighed. You want me to *forget*. But you? You remember every minute with him*fondly*. You only regret getting caught.
Margaret paced the room. What do you want? Me on my knees? This isnt some melodrama!
I want you to *understand* the pain. Not excuse it.
I *do*! But life goes on!
Helen walked to the desk, flipping open a notebook. She scratched out a line with deliberate force.
What are you doing?
Removing you from Mums birthday. Fifty-fifth. Id planned a big party.
Youre *kidding*! Aunt Maureens known me since I was ten!
Visit her another day. Youre not welcome.
Why? We agreed
Because you dont know how to forgive, Helen said, shutting the notebook. You demand I forget your betrayal for *your* comfort. Not once have you considered *my* feelings.
Thats not true!
Prove it. Admit it was *your* fault. Not mine.
Margaret faltered. Twenty years of friendshipruined by one summer.
Doesnt our history mean *anything*?
Its why this *hurts*. A stranger, Id have thrown out. *You*? I let in, hoping youd change.
Change *what*?
Show real remorse. Not just guilt for getting caught.
The kettle whistled. Helen poured teaone cup.
No tea for me? Margaret muttered.
No. Youre no longer a guest here.
*Thirty years*, Helen!
Which makes it worse. You knew our struggles. Knew we wanted children. Still, your loneliness mattered *more*.
Margaret slumped into a chair. I wasnt thinking.
For *three months*?
The first time justhappened. After that
You *chose* to continue. My friendship or your pleasure. You picked.
Helen stirred her tea. The worst part? You came *here*. Drank my tea, shared your woesall while betraying me.
I was *tormented*!
Not enough to stop.
Silence.
So thats it? Margaret whispered. Were done?
I dont know.
And your mum? Why punish *her*?
Helen met her eyes. Because seeing you would be a lie. Im done pretending.
Keys jingled in the hall. David walked in, freezing at the sight of Margaret.
Hi, he said flatly.
David? Her smile wavered.
He kissed Helens cheek, avoiding Margarets gaze. Hows the guest list?
Margaret isnt coming, Helen said.
Good. He poured tea.
Margaret stiffened. You *agree*?
David finally looked at her. Should I forget how you used me? Told me it was just a summer fling until Helen found out?
Thats not
You *said* Richard was your soulmate. That this was just *filling time*.
Helens lips pressed thin. Margaret felt the ground vanish.
David, what we had was *real*
Real enough to discard when convenient.
Enough, Helen cut in. First, you were lonely. Then *I* drove him away. Now its true love. What next?
Margaret stared at the familiar kitchenphotos on the fridge, the table where theyd laughed for years. All gone.
But David stayed, she whispered.
And that erases what you did?
David stood. Ill be upstairs.
Margaret turned desperate. Is there *any* chance we fix this?
Helen gazed out the window. Not until you learn forgiveness isnt *owed*. Its *earned*.
How?
If you have to ask, youre not ready.
At the door, Margaret hesitated. Remember our uni vow? Nothing will ever break us?
We assumed the threat would come from *outside*, Helen said. Not from within.
The latch clicked shut.
Outside, autumn wind tugged at Margarets coat. On the bus, she scrolled to *Helen Whitmore*twenty years in two words. She almost called. But what was left to say?
At home, Richard cooked dinner. Made up with Helen?
No.
Pity. He kissed her forehead. You were close.
That night, Margaret lay awake. Helen was rightshe *always* excused herself. School, work, now this.
Aunt Maureen called the next day. Youll be at my party, wont you?
Margaret forced cheer. Afraid not. Works mad.
She hung upand finally cried. Not for herself, but for what shed lost. A lifetime of friendship, shattered by selfishness.
Helens words echoed: *You dont know how to forgive.*
Perhaps it was time to learn.
**Lesson:** Trust broken by those closest cuts deepest. And forgiveness? It demands more than empty wordsit needs true remorse. Without that, some bridges stay burnt.
