**Diary Entry 5th June, 1983**
Granny never did care much for little Victor
Plain as day, she didnt. Called him a good-for-nothing brat, a chatterbox, a pain in the neck.
Victor gave as good as he gotplayed nasty little tricks on her. Shed set out the dough to rise, and hed chuck in a handful of dill seeds or fennel. By the time the loaf came out of the oven, all speckled with green, it was downright foul.
“Eat it,” shed grumble.
“Not a chance. You have it.”
“Oh, you ungrateful little wretch. Youve never known real hunger, not like in the war.”
“Oh, right. Like you did.”
“I did! I did picking scraps from the fields, digging up last years potatoes from the dirt. A handful of nettles for soup, weeds for bread we made do. Then came berries, mushroomswe survived. And youve the cheek to complain!”
Now and then, theyd manage a truce, but the older Victor got, the rarer those days became.
“Ill tell Mum how you treat me!”
“Oho, listen to him! Treat me poorly, he says. Go on then, off you trot to your mothergood riddance!”
“And I will!”
“Do. See if I care. She tossed you aside like a stray pup, didnt she?”
Victors mum, after a rough patch, had remarried. The stepdad wasnt a bad sortno drinker like Victors real dad, whod frozen to death one winters nightbut he was a mean, tight-fisted bloke.
Now, Victors dad had been kind. A pint or two in him, and hed laugh, scoop up Victors mum, spin her round while she scolded him for spoiling the boy with sweets and toys. The stepdad? Not a chance.
When Mum first introduced them, the man curled his lip.
“How longs the lad staying, Kate?”
“Hes my son,” Mum said. “You knew that.”
“Well, hes managed without you till now, hasnt he?”
“Schools starting. He needs”
“What, no schools where hes been? Well never save a penny feeding another mouth. Saw him shove three sweets in his gob just now.”
“Liar!” Victor burst out. “I never! Mum gave me one toffy this morning, thats all!”
Things didnt improve. The stepdad counted every bite, refused to buy Victor clothes. In the end, Mum sent him back to Grannys.
“Mum, why dyou need him? We were fine before!”
“Its hard alone, love. I thought I thought hed be a father to you. But hes worse than a stray dog.”
“Leave him! Lets live together again.”
“I cant. The councils let our old room go”
“Ask them! Say you made a mistake. Theyll understandmight even give us something better.”
“Lifes not that simple, Vic.”
Mum hugged him tight, crying.
“Dont dont cry. Is it cause of me? If I stay with Granny, will he treat you better? Then take me back.”
Visits grew scarce. When Mum did come, theyd talk for hours, inseparable. Granny would fuss, calling them “her chicks,” cooking up a storm.
“You could stay, Kate.”
“Cant, Mum. You know how it is.”
Granny would sigh. “Ah, woe is me.”
Once Mum left, Grannys nagging returned. No playing at the quarry with the lads”Stick to the brook out back!”
What brook? A sparrow could wade it!
But the quarrythat was proper fun. A diving board the boys had built, deep blue water below. Jump in, swim to the bank where the girls giggled, haul yourself up like an otter shaking off spray. Then sprawl on the warm sand, watching cows amble to drink, old Tom cracking his whip.
Pure bliss.
Granny didnt get it. “Kids drowned there!”
“Every year, you say! So I never get to go?”
No overnighters in the woods, either”A wolverine mauled some lads once!”
“That was ages ago! The things long dead!”
Always something.
Then Mum stopped visiting.
When she finally came, she was round. Odd, thatthe stepdad counted every spoonful, yet shed plumped up.
Granny shook her head. “By Michaelmas, then?”
“God willing. Ah, my sins weigh heavy”
“Granny,”Victor, nearly nine, tugged her sleeve”Mums having a baby?”
“Aye.”
“What about me? Where do I go?”
“Youll stay with me, love.” She pulled him close, stroked his hair. “Just us two, my poor lamb. Nobody wants you but your old gran.”
“Not not even Mum?”
Granny just held him tighter.
Come Michaelmas, snow fell. Granny took Victor to town.
Mum was swollen, exhausted, but hugged him tight.
“You staying long, Peggy?” the stepdad asked that evening.
“For good.”
He near leapt out of his chair. “What?”
“Shes my daughter, hes her boy. I wont leave a child to your miserly ways. But two of us? Youll think twice before crossing us.”
The stepdad turned purple.
“Dont scare him, Mum,” said Kate. “Hell drop dead like his dad, and whatll I do with the baby?”
“Well manage. Kate, love, well manage without your tyrant.” Granny turned to the stepdad. “Brought our own tea, our own pies. Not a crumb of yours well take. But youll pay for the lads clothesstepfather or not, thats your duty.”
“Mum!” Kate protested.
“Joking! Only joking. Come, Victorlets shop.”
They bought clothes, met his mates. Later, Victors eyes prickled.
“Whats wrong, lad?”
“Nowt.”
Granny wouldnt understand.
“Nowt, eh? Come on, then.”
“Where?”
“Youll see.”
The bakery.
“Fancy an éclair?”
Blimey. And hed thought she didnt love him.
“You you having one? Can we afford?”
“Oh, my golden boy!” Her eyes watered. “Worried for your gran? Id eat a whole cream puff if I could. Tried one oncelovely!”
“Then lets get three!”
“Nay, just the one.”
They ate, then waited for the bus. Gypsy women flitted about, selling shawls.
“Ooh, pretty! Look, seeit slips through a ring!”
“How much?” Granny asked, all business.
“For you, sister, a bargain!” The price named wouldve made a statue blink.
“Get lost!” Granny dragged Victor off, though hed seen her eyeing that shawl. The gypsy woman chased them, haggling, till the buss diesel fumes swallowed her shouts.
Granny sighed all the way home, moaning to the other passengers about gypsies, greedy stepfathers, and that shawl. Victor stared out the window, burning with shame.
Mum had the babyAnniea week later. A month on, the stepdad dumped the newborn on Grannys doorstep.
“Kates still poorly. Ive work.”
“Couldnt take her to your own mother?”
He just shrugged and left.
“Granny shes so tiny.”
Granny stared out the window, tears falling.
“Granny?”
“What?”
“Will Mum will she die?”
“Dont say such things!”
“Dad did.”
Granny flew into a panic. “Victor, love, Ill ask Mrs. Higgins to mind you two. I must see your mum”
“Well manage. Just show me how to feed her, change her.”
Granny clapped hands to her mouth, sank to her knees, howling.
“Granny? Whats wrong?”
Victor cried. Annie wailed, kicking her scrawny legs.
“Oh, my loves”
“What whats the matter with us?”
“Youre mine, thats what. My darlings.”
“Granny, Im sorry”
“Sorry? For what, son?”
“I thought you didnt love me.”
“Love you? Youre my heart, boy!”
“But Mum and Annie?”
“Ah, you daft lamb. I love you all. But you? Youre my special one.”
They endured