**Diary Entry**
It took years before Emily finally made up her mind. After her beloved grandmothers funeral, something inside her shifted. She pulled out her phone, looked up the train schedule, and booked a ticket to her hometown. She needed to go backto face the past head-on and settle things once and for all.
The train raced through endless fields and woodlands, the familiar landscapes of her childhood blurring past the window. Emily stared, lost in thought. Maybe her grandmother had been right all along. Maybe forgiving her mother would lift the weight shed carried for so long.
Her heart pounded as the train slowed at the small station of her hometown. Her steps faltered, as if her legs resisted moving forward. She walked slowly, mechanically, pausing every few paces to steady herself.
Then, there it wasthe little wooden cottage where shed once lived, where her mother had later died. The house stood neglected, windows papered over, shutters creaking in the wind. A sharp ache twisted in Emilys chest as memories rushed backhappy moments with her father and brothers, the only threads still tying her to this place. A heavy padlock hung on the door. One tug, and the whole thing might crumble. But she didnt try. Instead, she sat on the rickety porch for hours, turning everything over in her mind. Then, abruptly, she stood and walked back to the station. Did it feel better? It did. She could sense the bitterness slipping away, leaving her lighter.
Ten years earlier, Emily had sat at her desk, eyes fixed on the computer screen, her mind miles awaytrapped in childhood memories that had turned sour. Her fingers fidgeted with an old school pen, twisting it absently.
Her father was gone forever, leaving behind three children and a wife drowning in grief. Emily remembered it too clearlythe stale smell of cheap whiskey, her mothers never-ending tears, her brothers constant whining, and herself, a lost five-year-old clinging to her grandmothers knees. No more bedtime stories. No more gentle hands smoothing her hair.
“Why then?” shed often wondered. Why did life take him when they needed him most?
And now, years later, the message came: her mother was dead.
“Will you at least go to the funeral?” Her grandmothers voice was sharp, her hands planted on her hips, her eyes burning with disapproval.
Emily looked up from the screen, her gaze icy. “Why should I? I hated her! That woman… The drink turned her into a monster who couldnt care less about her own daughter!”
“She was your mother!” her grandmother snapped. “Even if things were bad, respect and remembrance matter!”
“Respect?” Emily scoffed. “After Dad died, she couldnt even look after us properly! You and Aunt Margaret did everything. She chose the bottle over us!”
Her grandmother sighed. “Maybe she was suffering. Grief broke her.”
“Suffering?” Emily laughed bitterly. “Some people grieve and still carry on. She chose to drown in it. We were just excuses for another drink.”
The old anger flared, fresh as ever. Years of neglect, indifferenceher mother hadnt cared about their lives, their struggles, their victories. It still stung.
Her father had always softened the worst of it, but without him, life became unbearable. Aunt Margaret stepped in, moving them all to her place in Manchester. A fresh start.
Yet Emily couldnt shake the guilt. How could she despise her own mother so deeply? Shouldnt a mothers love be unconditional?
But the memories always dragged her backthe coldness, the abandonment, the wounds that never healed.
Her grandmother laid a hand on her shoulder. “I understand, love, I do. But sometimes, saying goodbye brings peace. Maybe going back would help you forgive. Let go.”
“No,” Emily said firmly. “I wont go. Dont ask me again.”
Now, her grandmother was gone too.
Emily returned from her hometown, turning everything over in her mind. The past had resurfaced, filling the void left by her fathers death. She wanted to leave the bitterness behind, to step forward unburdened.
Her grandmother had been right. Forgiveness wasnt for her motherit was for herself. A chance to move on without looking back. Emily knew challenges lay ahead, but now she faced them with clearer eyes, ready for whatever came next.
This trip had changed everything. Letting go of old grudges had set her free. Now, she could livenot forgetting the past, but no longer chained to it.
