**Diary Entry**
I shouldve married Valerie instead! Shes always so put together, slim, and younger than you. Im still in my prime, and my wifes gone old
“Whats all this about Val, eh? Seen her somewhere? As if shed spare you a second glanceshe married a colonel, lives in comfort. Spoilt rotten, always dressed smart, no kids to worry about. Lived for herself, that one.”
Rachel was frying cheese pancakes for breakfasthis favourite. Hed wake soon, and theyd be ready, hot, with sour cream.
Rach! Where are my trousers?
There he was, shouting from the bedroom. She set the pan aside and hurried in.
Nick, I put them in the wash. They were filthy. Here, clean ones.
Filthy? When did I even wear them? Youre always taking liberties!
Oh, so youd rather walk about in muck for a month? Stop fussing. Here.
Ugh! Hate thesetoo tight, uncomfortable! Hurry up with my good pair!
Theyre washing. Go wash up, breakfasts ready.
Nick stomped off to the loo. Rachel poured his teatwo sugars, just how he liked itand dolloped sour cream into a bowl.
Bloody stinks in here with your frying! Nothing better to do?
Made them for you, Nick. Whats got into you? Wrong side of the bed?
He ate in sullen silence.
Teas scalding! Couldnt cool it? Blimey, burnt my tongue! And these pancakesrubbery. Shouldve just done bacon sarnies.
Dont talk rot. Theyre fine as always. Eat upno more greasy sandwiches, that belly of yours
Oh, my bellys the issue now? Whens the last time you looked in the mirror? Gone to seed! And that grey hairwhy not dye it? Proper old biddy.
Rachel gaped. Hed never spoken to her like this. What on earth?
Nick, mind your tongue! Ive always been curvysince whens it bothered you? And I wont dye my hairallergies, you know that. Health comes first. Not a spring chicken anymore, either.
That gut of yours is from all that ale. I cook healthy, but you sit glued to the telly.
Shouldve married Val. Kept herself up, didnt she? Still fresh, unlike you.
Valerie bloody Simmons? Seen her lately, have you? Shes living the high life, no time for the likes of you.
We raised a good ladsuccessful, helps us out. Grandkids, too. No complaints.
You dont know the half of it! Val fancied me once, made it clear
When? Pull the other one.
Back then. Happened.
And whatd you say?
What could I say? Im a bloke. Didnt want to hurt her feelings. Lovely, she was. Not like you.
Mum warned meDont marry Rachel, shes plain, older. Shouldve listened. Now Im stuck with a nag who cant even make a decent sandwich!
Well, let Val make your sandwiches, then! Couldnt say no, could you?
Whyd you stay with me all these years, eh? Suffering your old nag? Im only three years older!
Dunno. Retired now, realised my mistake. Youre dull as ditchwater. Plenty of women fancied mebut I came home. To you. And you never appreciated it!
Never? Always put you and young Tom first! Never asked for a penny. Look at your wardrobemines all cheap, saved every bit. Boat, fishing gear, telly gadgetswhen did I complain?
Oh, spare me the martyr act. Cookings awful, too. Mums was properGod rest her.
Nick, was it really so bad, all these years? Not one good word? Whats got into you? Feel alright?
Youre the one whos ill! Sod thisoff to watch the news. Oh, and there was Tammy, too. Years back, when you were at your mums.
Proper firecracker, her. Not like youalways pills, clutching your chest. Some life Ive got
Rachel untied her apron and walked out. Couldnt breathe. Heart aching.
So, hed strayed. And shed never known. Seemed happy enough. Married for love, vows, all that. Now this deluge of spite.
Bad wife, was she? How dyou live with that?
Hed begged her to marry him, gone down on one knee. Loved him all her life, bent over backwards. Hed loved her, toojust stopped saying it. Never cruel, though.
Tammy? Val? How could he?
Shed never entertained advancesnot from that colleague, not even her old schoolmate: Leave him, come to me. Sent him packingwhat kind of talks that for a married woman?
And her cooking? Theyd devoured her pies, stews, pancakes. What was this, then? Truth at deaths door?
Nick, Nick I gave you everything.
She wandered, numb. Chest burning, tears salty. Betrayed.
Meanwhile, Nick munched pancakes, buttered toast, gulped tea. Bad mood. Bad dreamRachel leaving, laughing. Woke furious.
Hangover didnt help. Mike kept topping him up last night. No wonder he was seething.
Thenbanging at the window. He raced to the door. Neighbour, Diane.
Nick, its Rachelquick!
What? Whats happened?
Just come!
He bolted after her, door swinging wide.
Diane, talk!
See for yourself
In the park, an ambulance.
That woman yours? Gone, Im afraid. Called it in, but she was already Any conditions?
Gone?! Rachel? She just Heart trouble, pills all her life
Stress couldve triggered it. Any complaints today?
Fine this morning.
Well need a post-mortem. Leave your number
Nick woke at home. No memory of returning. No Rachel. His fault.
Whyd he say those things? No other womennever even looked.
Loved only her. Plump, grey, in that floral apron. Warm, familiar. Loved herjust never said.
Howd he live now? Lies, all lies! Her cooking was grand, Tom turned out right.
How could words kill her? Knew her heart was weak, but this?
Womens hearts break easy. Whend he last been kind?
Shed smiled, cared, cooked, mended. And heburnt it all.
Whatd he tell Tom? The grandkids?
Nick paced like a madman. Too late. His Rach, gone.
Shed wanted the seaside. A cruise. To see grandkids wed. Never now. His fault.
He collapsed, sobbing.
Nick! Lunch is on, and youre still lazing!
He blinked. Rachel, alive, scowling.
Rachyoure here?!
Who else? Nick, you poorly?
Youre alive?!
Course I am. Been at the ale with Mike again? That mans poison! Pancakes are cold. Borscht needs heatingsleeping the day away!
Rach, forgive me! No Val, no Tammyjust you, love!
He hugged her, kissed her.
Nick, whats got into you? Tammy who? Dreamt something?
Said awful things. You leftdied on a bench. Diane told me. Saw the ambulance Thought Id lost you. Just a dream, thank God!
Listenyoure the best! Love you, my beauty, my darling! Never againyour cookings perfect, youre perfect! Selling the boat, gearwell see the sea! Take a cruise!
Rachel smiled, hugged him back.
Thats more like it, Nicky! Love you too. Lunch nowfresh sour cream, spring onions.
Best day of his life. Rach, alive. No more drinkingcouldnt risk it.
Diane? Sorted! Ta ever soand tell your sis, brilliant acting. Filming in the park, the whole setuptaught him right.
Like butter now, thinks it was a dream. Apologies galore. That boozes addled him proper.
The things he saidnear broke my heart. Then the rage hit. Cheeky beggarserves him right. Ta, love!
Good on you, Rache. Men need reminding! Sisll oblige anytime!
