“You’re the reason I don’t have a family!” shouted the niece as she walked out of the flat.
“Aunt Maggie, do you ever regret not having children?” Emily suddenly asked, setting down her half-finished cup of tea.
Margaret Wilson flinched at the unexpected question. Emily had come to visit after a long absence, and theyd been chatting pleasantly about work, the weatheruntil this.
“What a strange thing to ask, dear,” Margaret replied carefully, smoothing the lace doily on the table. “Life turns out how it turns out. Not everyone has to be a mother.”
“But it must be sad, no? Living alone…” Emily studied her aunts face, as if tracing every wrinkle.
Margaret gave an awkward laugh. Outside, a light October drizzle fell, but the flat was warm and cosy. She always kept things tidy, especially when family visitedthough there wasnt much family left, just Emily, her late brothers daughter.
“Why do you ask? Is everything all right with you and Tom?” Margaret tried steering the conversation away. Emily had been seeing the young man for three years, and shed hoped a wedding might be near.
“Tom and I split up,” Emily said flatly, turning to the window. “A month ago.”
“Oh, love! Why didnt you say? I couldve”
“Couldve what?” Emily spun around. “Pitied me? Sympathised? Told me there are plenty more fish in the sea?”
There was a sharpness in her voice Margaret had never heard before. Emily had always been quiet, politefirst as a shy schoolgirl, then a diligent student, now a successful accountant at a top firm. Margaret had been so proud.
“Emily, whats got into you? Youre not yourself today.”
“Not myself?” She stood, pacing the room. “What should I be, then? Smiling all the time, pretending everythings perfect? Acting like Im thirty-two and my love lifes still a blank page?”
Margaret watched helplessly as Emily stopped by the old dresser, picking up a photographlittle Emily beside a younger Margaret.
“I was seven when Mum and Dad died in that crash,” Emily said softly, not turning. “Remember how I came to live with you?”
“Of course I remember, love. We got through it together.” Margaret stood, wanting to reach out, but Emily stepped away.
“Got through it? I didnt understand what was happening. I thought it was temporary. That theyd come back, and Id go home.”
“Emily, why bring this up now? We talked about it”
“We never talked! You decided for me! Decided Id live with you, that it was best!”
Margaret felt a sting of hurt. Had Emily forgotten how hard it had been? Twenty-eight, freshly divorced, her career in tattersthen suddenly responsible for a child.
“I was young too, Emily. I mightve made mistakes, but I tried”
“Tried?” Emily laughed bitterly. “You know how you tried? You locked me in this flat! No clubs, no hobbies, no friends!”
“Thats not true! You had school friends”
“What friends? You told me daily: Why bother with people? Stay home, its safer. Why join drama club? Waste of time. Why dance? Waste of money.”
Margaret sank into a chair. She remembered it differentlythought she was shielding Emily from bad influences.
“I wanted to protect you”
“From what? Life? People? Learning how to connect?” Emily set the photo down. “I grew up educated, yes. But I cant flirt, cant be lighthearted. You made me just like youclosed off, afraid of everything!”
The words hit harder than a slap. Margaret had always prided herself on being cautious, not cowardly.
“Emily, I know youre upset about Tom”
“Whats Tom got to do with it? Hes the fourth! Fourth relationship thats failed! And why? Because I freeze at the first hurdle, retreat into my shelljust like you taught me!”
Margaret stayed silent, throat tight.
“Know what he said when he left? Youre like a zombie. You exist, but you dont live. Work, telly, bed. No passions, no desires. You dont even want sexjust to be left alone.”
“Emily!” Margaret gasped. Such bluntness unnerved her.
“Whattoo honest? Well, try living it! All my friends are married with kids. And me? I sit alone every night wondering whats wrong with me.”
“Nothings wrong”
“Yes, there is! Ive turned into you! Im repeating your life!”
“Mine?”
“Yes! You were never happy either. Even married to Uncle John, you never spoke up. He did as he pleased, and you took it!”
Margaret clenched her fists. The truth about her failed marriage still ached. John had been controllingbut how could Emily understand? Shed been so young.
“Dont judge what you dont know,” she whispered.
“I know enough! I lived here! Heard him shout, heard you cry! And when he left for that secretary, you didnt even fight!”
“Why fight if he wanted to go?”
“Exactly! You gave up. And you taught me to do the sameto shrink, comply, never demand better!”
Emily paced like a caged animal.
“And now I see it. You didnt raise me like a daughter. You raised me as company for your old age.”
Margaret flinched. The unspoken truth cut deep.
“You were lonely, terrified of being alone. So you made sure Id stayby making sure Id never leave.”
“Thats not”
“Isnt it? Every time I mentioned someone, were you happy? Or upset?”
Margaret couldnt answer. She had always dreaded the thought of Emily marrying, leaving her.
“See? You cant even lie now.”
“Emily, what do we do? How do we fix this?”
“We dont. Times gone. Im thirty-two with baggage no man wants.”
“But therapy”
“Im already seeing someone! Four months now. And guess what they say? I need space from you. To live separately. Stop asking your permission for everything.”
Margarets chest tightened. Live without Emily? Truly alone?
“But were family”
“Family?” Emily sighed. “Family lifts each other up. Doesnt cripple each other with fear.”
“I wanted your happiness”
“No. You wanted your peace. And the worst part? I get it. You were scared. But that doesnt help me.”
Emily stood by the window. Streetlights flickered on.
“I should go.”
“Stay for supper”
“No. I need to think.”
She grabbed her coat and bag.
“When will you visit again?”
“I dont know. I need time.”
“You cant just disappear”
“Cant I?” Emily paused at the door. “You disappeared me from my own life. Maybe its my turn.”
“What do you mean?”
“Im renting a place. Living alone.”
“But thats wasteful! Youve got your room here”
“Youre not listening! I need to learn to stand without you!”
“Ill miss you”
“And Ive missed the life I never had!”
She opened the door but hesitated.
“One more thing. This flat…”
“What about it?”
“Im giving it up. When youre gone, it goes to charity. I dont want it.”
“Emily! Its your inheritance!”
“Its not. Its payment for silence. For obedience. For the life you stole.” Her voice shook. “You ruined my chance at a family. And I wont take a single brick of this place as consolation.”
The door slammed. Margaret sat alone in the dim silence.
Outside, the rain kept falling.
