You dont get to decide where my son lives, snapped his ex-wife as she stepped over the threshold.
Dad, when is Mum coming? asked Jake, setting aside his maths workbook.
James looked up from his newspaper and studied his son. At just eight years old, there was a quiet sadness in the boys eyessomething no child should carry.
I dont know, mate. She said shed visit this weekend, but its only Wednesday.
But will she really come? Last time she promised, then rang to say she had important things to do.
James sighed. How could he explain that Jakes mother now lived in another city with another man, and that her visits had become little more than a reluctant obligation? Once a month, shed turn up with a toy, take him to a café, then vanish again.
Shell come, Jake. She will.
Okay, the boy said, picking up his textbook again. Can I watch cartoons tonight?
Finish your homework first, then well see.
James tried to read the paper, but his thoughts kept circling the same worn path. Three years since the divorce, and he still hadnt rebuilt his life. Work, home, Jakean endless loop. His mates urged him to meet someone, start fresh, but how could he when his son spent every day waiting for his mum?
By the time Jake closed his books, dusk had fallen outside.
Dad, what are we having for dinner tomorrow?
Fish fingers and chips. Your favourite.
Yeah, Jake grinned. And salad?
And salad. Cucumber and tomato.
They moved to the kitchen, and James began pulling ingredients from the fridge. Jake perched on a stool nearby, swinging his legs as he chattered about school.
Tom Parker fell over in PE today and scraped his knee. There was blood! The teacher took him to the nurse.
Nothing too bad, I hope?
Nah, just a plaster. Dad, why do Toms parents always come to meetings together, but you come alone?
James froze, the knife halfway through a cucumber.
Well Mum and I have different jobs, different schedules.
Right, Jake nodded, though he didnt seem convinced.
After dinner, Jake obediently brushed his teeth and washed up. James tidied the kitchen, brewed a cuppa. The flat was quiet, the telly murmuring softly in the background.
At work the next day, his colleague Mark brought up the subject again.
Jim, come off it! What kind of mother is she? Shes practically given up on the kid! Visiting once a monthwhats that? Jake adores you. Youre a great dad.
Mark, you dont get it. Theres no time for anything else. School runs, homework, bedtime stories. Weekends are laundry, shopping, cleaning.
Then find a woman wholl help! A decent, kind one. A stepmum wouldnt hurt Jake.
What if he doesnt like her? What if his mum comes back and kicks off?
Shes not coming back! Mark waved a hand. If she wanted to, shed have done it by now.
James stayed silent. Deep down, he knew his friend was rightbut admitting it stung.
That evening, as Jake did his homework, the doorbell rang. James checked the peephole and stiffened. Standing there was Emily, his ex-wife. He opened the door.
Hi, she said. Can I come in?
Course. Jake! Mums here!
The boy dashed from his room, flinging himself at her. Emily hugged him back, but awkwardly, as if shed forgotten how.
Youve grown so much! Proper little man now.
Mum, are you staying long? Did you bring me anything?
Of course I did. But first, I need to talk to Dad.
Jake nodded and scurried back to his room. Emily walked into the lounge and sat on the sofa. James remained standing.
Tea?
Please.
He went to the kitchen, made two cups, and brought them in. Emily looked wellnew haircut, smart clothes, manicured nails. Life in the city clearly suited her.
How are things? James asked.
Good. Enjoying work, decent salary. And you?
Fine. Jakes doing well at school, no real problems.
Emily hesitated, then straightened.
James, I came to talk. David and I are getting married.
Congratulations.
And I want Jake to come live with me.
The words hit like a punch. Jamess hands trembled around his mug.
What?
I want custody. Im stable now, good job, Davids happy to have him. Youre always at workJakes left to himself.
Em, are you mad? Jakes settled herehis school, his friends. And besides, youve barely
Barely what? I was young, scared of responsibility. Now Im ready.
Have you even asked Jake what he wants?
Hes a child. He doesnt know whats best. My place is better for him.
James stood, pacing the room.
Em, listen. Three years youve barely been in his life. Monthly visits, if that. Now suddenly you want him back?
I have rights! Im his mother!
Mother? James snapped. A mother stays up when hes ill. Helps with homework, takes him to the doctor, buys his clothes. What have you done?
I was working! Building a life!
Right. And who built Jakes life? Who raised him? Who
Keep your voice down! Emily hissed. Hell hear.
James lowered his tone, but the anger remained.
Why now? Why suddenly do you want him?
Emily turned away, gazing out the window.
David wants kids. I cant have morethe doctors said. So we thought Jake could
Ah. You need a child for your new husband, and Jakes convenient.
James, dont. Ive missed him.
Missed him? Missed calling him? Asking how he is? You forgot his birthday last year!
I was busy
Were all busy, James cut in. Jake grew up without you. Now you waltz in and demand him back.
Footsteps pattered from Jakes room. He peered into the lounge.
Mum, are we going out? The cinema or something?
Emily forced a smile.
Of course, love. Just need to finish talking with Dad.
Okay, Jake vanished again.
Emily waited, then continued.
James, my minds made up. Ill go to court if I have to. My place is betterstable income, good area. What do you have? A rented flat, an average job
I have love for my son. Do you?
Of course! I just dont show it like you.
Or you dont feel it.
Emily stood, clutching her handbag.
Ill give you till tomorrow. If you agree, well keep it civil. If not the courts will decide.
You dont get to decide where my son lives, James said firmly.
Hes my son too! Emily flared. I have just as much right!
Rights are earned.
She moved to leave, then turned back.
Jake! Come say goodbye!
The boy ran out, hugging her.
Mum, will I see you tomorrow?
Yes, love. Definitely.
When the door closed, Jake looked uneasily at his father.
Dad, whats wrong? Were you arguing?
No, mate. Just grown-up stuff.
Mum seemed upset.
James sat beside him on the sofa, pulling him close.
Jake, tell me honestly. Do you want to live with Mum?
The boy frowned.
Where does she live?
Another city. Far away.
What about school? And Tom? And Grandma?
Youd change schools, make new friends.
Jake thought, then shook his head.
Dont want to. I want to stay with you. Visit Mum sometimes.
Alright, son. Alright.
That night, James lay awake. Tomorrow, Emily would return for his answer. What would he say? That hed fight for Jake? That hed never let him go? And if she suedcould he afford a proper solicitor?
In the morning, as he packed Jakes schoolbag, the boy asked:
Dad, if Mum takes me away, will you be sad?
James crouched, meeting his eyes.
Jake, no ones taking you. Were family, understand?
Yeah, Jake smiled. What about Mum?
Shes family too. Just not with us.
Like Aunt Claire? Shes family but lives in her own house.
Something like that.
At school, James lingered to speak with the teacher. Jake was doing well, she saidno trouble, well-liked.
Hes a responsible boy, Mrs. Taylor said. Clearly raised right. Though he does seem a bit lonely sometimes.
Were divorced, James admitted.
Ah. Any plans to remarry? A proper family might help.
He nodded, considering her words.
That evening, Emily arrived sharp at seven. Jake rushed to her, but she gently held him back.
Love, go to your room. Dad and I need to talk.
But Mum
Go on, Jake, James said.
Alone, Emily got straight to the point.
Well? Decided?
Yes. Jake stays with me.
James, dont be stubborn. Think of him! I can give him morebetter school, more opportunities.
More love?
That too!
Then whyve you ignored him for three years?
Emily hesitated, then sighed.
Fine. Court it is. But know thisI wont back down. Davids supporting me. I can afford good lawyers.
Still wont ask Jake what he wants?
What does a child know? Adults decide.
Right. Jake! Come here!
The boy hurried in, sitting between them.
Jake, Mum wants you to live with her. What do you think?
He looked at Emily, then James.
Is it far?
Quite far, Emily said. But its nicebig house, your own room.
Ive got my own room here.
Its better there.
Will Dad come?
No, Dad stays here.
Jake thought, then shook his head.
Dont want to leave Dad. He takes me to school, helps with homework, reads to me.
Ill do all that!
Can you make pancakes? Play chess? Fix my bike?
Emily faltered.
Id learn
No, Jake said firmly. I want to stay with Dad. Visit you sometimes.
Emilys face twisted.
Youve turned him against me! she accused James. Poisoned his mind!
Mum, Dad never said anything bad about you, Jake said. He says youre just really busy.
Emily sank onto the sofa, covering her face. When she looked up, her eyes were red.
I thought hed want to live with me.
Do you want him? James asked quietly. Or does David just want a ready-made son?
Emily was silent a long time.
I dont know, she finally admitted. I think I do but Im scared. What if I fail? What if he hates me?
Mum, I already love you, Jake said. I just want to stay here.
Emily hugged him tightly, crying.
Alright, she whispered. Stay with Dad. But can I visit more?
Of course, James said. Whenever you like.
And call?
And call.
She kissed Jake, then stood.
Id better go. Need to explain to David.
Mum, are you mad? Jake asked.
No, sweetheart. Not mad.
After she left, Jake stood at the window, watching her taxi drive off.
Dad, will she really visit more?
I think so. She loves you.
Then why did she want to take me away?
Adults get confused, Jake. They think they know best but sometimes they dont.
Oh. Dad, can we get pizza tonight? Instead of fish fingers?
Alright.
A week later, Emily called. She spoke to Jake for half an hour, asking about school, friends, weekend plans. Promised to visit in a fortnight.
And a month after that, James met a woman in the parkAnna, another single parent with a daughter Jakes age. They talked as the children played.
How long have you been on your own? Anna asked.
Three years. You?
Two. Its hard sometimes, isnt it?
Sometimes. But theyre worth it.
Jake and her daughter, Lily, became fast friends, swinging and laughing together.
Dad, Jake whispered as they walked home, Annas nice. And Lily too.
Yeah, they are.
Can we see them again?
We can.
And James realised Mark had been right. Life moved onand he deserved happiness too. So long as Jake was happy. And judging by the boys grin as he chattered about Lily, he truly was.
Sometimes, love isnt about grand gesturesits about showing up, day after day, even when no ones watching. And in the end, thats what children remember.
