I was allowed to choose which parent I wanted to live with. Two years later, I regretted my decision.
I always thought my dad loved me more than my mum did. He spoiled me; she scolded me. He was the peacemaker, while she was always the first to argue. So when I found out about their divorce, I was almost relieved. At thirteen, I had no interest in living with my mum, and besides, I figured Dad, as the breadwinner, could take better care of me. They both asked my opinionMum hoped Id stay with her, but she didnt seem the least bit surprised when I chose Dad.
A year after we moved out, Dad found himself a new girlfriend. She was about the same age as Mum, and he was smitten. She was polite enough to me, but there was none of the warmth or love my mum had given me. When she and Dad had a baby girl together, it was like they forgot I existed. Sometimes theyd go off on little trips as a trio, never thinking to bring me along, or theyd throw fancy dinners when I wasnt around. My old room now had a cot in it, and I hadnt slept properly since the baby arrivedcrying at all hours, my stepmum turning the light on for midnight feeds
Dad didnt seem to care how it affected my mood or my schoolwork. He didnt even bat an eyelid when I started staying out late with friends. Eventually, I realised something had to change. I wanted to go to uni, I had plansand if I kept sleeping badly, none of that would happen. For the sake of my future, I swallowed my pride and called Mum.
“Can I come over?” I asked, trying not to sound too hopeful. I rarely called her, and visits were even rarer.
“Of course, lovestay as long as you like. The half-sisters driving you mad, is she?”
I felt sorry for her. Dad had his new family and new worries, but Mum was still completely on her own.
I asked Dad if I could move in with Mum for a while, and he agreed straight away. He promised to send money, though he never actually called to check on me. I think it was easier for everyone this way. Maybe because Im older now, but Mum and I get on like mates. She looks after me, cheers me onwhereas Dad just assumes Im grown up, though Mum still occasionally treats me like a kid, making me dinner after work.
If I could turn back time, Id probably choose to stay with her. But then again, whos to say I wouldnt have regretted that just as much, wondering if the grass mightve been greener?
