“Mum, meet someone,” Oliver said, ushering a girl forward. “This is Emily. My fiancée.”
Anna Margaret nearly collapsed where she stood, grateful for the chair behind her. Her boy, her Ollie, looked like a schoolboy next to his bride-to-bea woman who carried herself like she owned the world.
“Hiya,” Emily said, hands stuffed in her jeans pockets, gum snapping between her teeth as she eyed Anna with lazy confidence.
“Helhello,” Anna stammered, too stunned to finish the word properly. “How did you twowhen?”
“Mum, it’s fine!” Oliver toed off his shoes and nodded for Emily to do the same. “We’re gonna live at Emilys place. Right, Em?”
“Mm-hmm,” she agreed, chewing noisily.
“Son, a word?” Anna pushed up from the chair and marched to the kitchen.
“Say whatever you like in front of me,” Emily drawled, flopping onto the sofa and snatching the telly remote. She flicked through channels, one leg slung over the other. “Ollie and I dont keep secrets. Right, bunny?”
“Right, Mum,” Oliver nodded, flushing.
“Fine.” Anna steadied herself. “Son, are you sure about this? Shesgoodness, shes at least ten years older than you.”
“Eight!” Emily corrected. “And it doesnt matter. Got a problem with that? Im independent, well-off, a grown woman”
“Exactly! A woman! And my boys barely twenty!” Anna clutched her head.
“Well, someones got to make a man out of him, since no one managed by now,” Emily snorted.
Anna gaped like a fish out of water.
“Mum,” Oliver finally spoke up, “we came for a reasonwe need money for the wedding.”
“And whys that my problem?” Anna huffed, reeling from the future daughter-in-laws nerve.
“Hows it not?” Emily arched a brow. “Traditionally, the grooms side pays. My parents agree.”
“Oh, brilliant!” Anna threw her hands up. “Dump your shelf-worn goods on me and demand cash? I should be paid for handing over my boy to some has-been. Not a penny!”
She sliced a hand through the air.
Emily stood, smirking, and stepped close. “Chirp all you like, love. Come on, bunny, well manage.” She strode to the door, yanking it open. Oliver scrambled after her, shooting his mum one last hopeful glancebut she turned away.
Still, she called out, “Why bunny?”
“Because of his ears,” Emily tossed back, shoving him onto the landing.
“Bye, Mum!” Oliver barely got out before the door slammed.
“Lord, what did I do to deserve this?” Anna slumped at the kitchen table, drowning sorrows in biscuits. Her sweet, gentle boysnatched by a predator.
“His ears are perfectly normal,” she sniffed toward the door.
Outside, Emily scratched her head. “Now what? We cant afford a venue, a host, or decent catering. Mine wont chip in either.”
“What about our garden party, then a trip?” Oliver suggested hopefully. Hed only just started workingno savings yet.
“Why didnt you say sooner?” Emily clapped his shoulder. “Go sweet-talk your mum for the keys. Ill waitwouldnt want to traumatise the old dear.”
The doorbell rang again.
“Now what?” Anna grumbled, opening it to find Oliver alone.
“She left you?!”
“Mum! We love each other!”
“Then what dyou want?”
He shuffled in. “The garden keys? Well have the wedding there.”
“Over my dead body! Youll wreck the place!”
“Well clean up! Just want me happy, right?”
Anna choked on her tea. “I dojust not like this!”
“Shes good for me, Mum.”
“Doubt it.” She sighed. “Fine.”
She fetched the keys, and Oliver nearly bowled her over with a kiss before bolting.
“Theres my clever boy,” Emily praised, spitting her gum and kissing him soundly.
Anna was invitedmuch to her shock.
“How do I fake a smile?” she moaned to her neighbour. “Id drown her in the punch, but noIve got to toast their happiness!”
“Eh, young folks change their minds quick,” the neighbour waved off. “Mines on her third husband. Just no kidsthats the trick.”
“Whats the point, then?”
“Who knows?”
The wedding day was sunny. “Perfect weather!” guests cheered. Thirty showed, including Emilys parentsstiff as starched collars. Her mother fretted over bugs; her father, after a few whiskeys, flirted shamelessly.
“What does she see in him?” Emilys mum whinged. “She had athletes, businessmen!”
“Not fond of your daughter either,” Anna snapped, retreating before she ruined the day.
Outside, her heart sankchaos reigned. Grills nestled between trampled vegetable patches. Firewood meant for the sauna fueled kebabs. Guests watered her roses with beer.
“Loos that way!” Anna barked at men relieving themselves by the apple trees.
“Cheers, Mum!” they laughed, zipping up.
“Disgraceful!”
The party raged till dawn. By morning, Anna surveyed the wreckagebottles, wrappers, a guest snoring in the greenhouse. Silk scarves dangled from branches like strange fruit.
“Mum?” Oliver emerged, stretching.
“Someones got to clean this!”
“They willonce they wake.” He splashed his face from the rain barrel and ducked inside.
Anna gaped as the newlyweds hauled out suitcases.
“Where are you going?”
“Late for our trip,” Oliver said, nudging her aside.
“And the mess?”
“Theyve got legs,” Emily called, dragging him off. “Wouldnt trade Paris for this dump.”
“Dump?!”
Guests slunk away, leaving Anna knee-deep in trash.
“Sorry, love,” Emilys dad hiccuped, reeking of booze. “Were off.”
Alone, Anna nearly weptuntil she spotted an envelope under gift boxes. Cash. A small fortune.
“Riff-raff my foot,” she muttered, dialling a cleaning service. After haggling, she smirked.
“Safe travels, darlings.”
Sipping tea, she bit into a biscuit, victorious.
**Lesson:** Sometimes the high road is paved with someone elses moneyand a well-timed smirk.
