And who exactly are you to decide? snapped the ex-wife, spotting me by his hospital bed.
Excuse me, could you point me to ward two-seventeen? asked the elderly woman at the nurses station.
Down the corridor, then right, muttered the nurse, barely glancing up from her magazine.
Emily tightened her grip on the bag of food and walked slowly in the direction given. Hospital corridors always filled her with gloomthe smell of antiseptic, the squeak of trolleys, the muffled voices behind closed doors. Shed hated hospitals ever since her mother passed away in one.
Reaching the right door, she knocked and stepped inside. Four men occupied the room, but her eyes went straight to the one shed come to see. James lay by the window, pale, his eyes closed. A vase of wilting chrysanthemums sat on the bedside table.
James, she called softly, moving closer.
His eyes fluttered open, and he stared at her in surprise.
Emily? How did you know I was here?
Margaret mentioned it. Ran into her at the shop, wondered why I hadnt seen you lately. She told me about the hospital.
Emily set the bag on the table and took the chair beside the bed. James looked dreadfulhollow cheeks, dull eyes. A far cry from the lively man she remembered.
What happened?
Oh, just a spot of heart trouble, he said, waving a hand. Doctors called it a mild heart attack.
Good grief, James! Emilys hands flew to her mouth. I had no idea.
Why would you? We dont exactly keep in touch.
No accusation coloured his tonejust weary resignation. True enough, theyd barely spoken since hed married Lucy. The odd nod at the supermarket or bus stop, polite enquiries about health, nothing more.
Brought you some bits, Emily said, pulling jars from the bag. Pickled cucumbers, tomatoes, cherry compote. I remember you liked them.
Cheers, love, he said, smiling for the first time. Thats kind of you.
What do the doctors say? When are you out?
Next week, if all goes well. Strict diet after, pills, the whole healthy living routine.
Emily nodded. She wanted to ask about Lucy but hesitated. Odd that his wife wasnt here. Maybe she was working or tied up at home.
And Lucy? Has she not visited?
James turned to the window.
Lucy isnt Lucy to me anymore. We divorced.
What? Emily nearly shot out of her chair. When?
Three months back, paperwork finalised. Been living apart six months before that.
James, what on earth happened?
He was silent for a moment, watching something outside.
Suppose she got tired of me. Said the spark was gone. Wanted a fresh start. Same old story.
Emily didnt know what to say. James and Lucy had been together eight years. Seemed happy enough. She worked at a salon, he at the factorycomfortable, not rich, but managing. Theyd even bought a flat and a car.
And the heart attackwas that because of this?
Who knows? Doctors reckon stress mightve set it off. But my hearts been dodgy for years. Just ignored it.
James, where are you living now? Who kept the flat?
She did. I moved in with Mum. Thank goodness she took me innowhere else to go.
Emily remembered Jamess mother, Margaret. A stern but fair woman whod always been kind to her when she and James were together. Shame about the cramped one-bedder, thoughhardly room for two grown adults.
How did it come to this, James? I remember how happy you both looked at the wedding.
So do I, he sighed. But people change, Em. Thought love was forever. Turns out
He trailed off, but she understood. Shed been there herself when her ex, Robert, ran off with someone else. That was years agoher daughter Sophie was still little. Now Sophie was married, living up in Leeds.
James, is there any chance you two could patch things up?
No, Em. Shes with someone else. Met a bloke, says she finally knows what real love feels like.
The words stung. Emily pictured James learning of the affair, weathering the divorce, alone in his mums spare room.
Sorry for prying. Just didnt see this coming.
Salright. Nice to talk about it, actually. Cant unload on Mumshe worries enough.
Emily fished a thermos from her bag.
Brought tea. Still hot, with honey and lemon. Good for the heart.
You always did think of everything, he said, taking the cup gratefully. Remember how you looked after me?
She did. Twenty years ago, when they were young. Shed been twenty-one, him twenty-three. Head over heels, making plans. Theyd even set a wedding date for autumn.
Then Robert had swept in like a hurricanehandsome, ambitious, full of grand promises. Shed been a fool, leaving James for him.
Turned out Robert was all talk. Married her, had Sophie, then ran off with someone else five years later, leaving Emily with a mortgage and a child.
James, I want to apologise, she blurted.
What for?
For what happened back then. I behaved terribly.
He set the cup down and looked at her.
Em, that was a lifetime ago. Why dredge it up now?
Because I shouldve said it sooner. Seeing you here, ill and aloneit made me realise how badly I messed up.
We all mess up.
Not everyone throws away someone good for empty promises.
He reached out, covering her hand with his.
Em, I never held it against you. Hurt like hell at the time, sure. But if someone can walk away, maybe it wasnt real love to begin with. Just wasnt meant to be.
Didnt work out with Robert either, she said with a sad smile. Lost you both.
Got Sophie out of it, though. Bright girl, by all accounts.
Howd you know?
Margaret mentioned. Said she married well, good job. You must be proud.
She was. Sophie was a doctor now, doing brilliantly.
You and Lucy never had kids?
No. She didnt want them. Said it wasnt the right time, then money, then work. Now I reckon she just didnt want my kids.
A nurse entered with medication. Emily stepped aside.
How are we feeling? the nurse asked.
Not bad, ta.
Lets check your blood pressure and do this injection. And you she turned to Emily, family?
Emily hesitated. Family? Ex-fiancée? Just an old friend?
Yes, family, James answered for her.
After the nurse left, silence fell again.
James, what will you do after discharge?
Dunno. Cant work yetsigned off sick. Mum says shell put me to work in her garden. Got an allotment.
Fresh airll do you good.
Suppose. What about you? Still on your own?
Yes. Used to it now. Sophie calls often, visits when she can. Promises grandchildren, she smiled.
Grandkids must be lovely. Id have liked that.
The longing in his voice twisted her heart. Fifty-three, alone, ill, no family. Life could be so unfair.
James, maybe I could have your number? Check in on you.
Go on. Give me yours toojust in case.
They swapped contacts, her punching his into an ancient Nokia, him saving hers to a smartphone.
Need any help after discharge? Cleaning, meals?
Thanks, Em, but Mumll manage. Wouldnt want to impose.
Dont be silly. Were friends.
Friends, he repeated, smiling. Sounds nice.
An elderly doctor entered, white coat flapping.
How are we, Mr. Thompson? Any complaints?
None, doc. Feeling better.
After checks and nods, the doctor said, Keep this up, and well discharge you Monday. But rememberno stress, diet, meds on time.
Will do.
Good to see family visiting, the doctor added, nodding at Emily. Moral support speeds recovery.
Once alone, James checked the clock.
Getting late. You should head off.
Suppose so, she stood. Buses thin out soon.
Thanks for coming. Honestly didnt expect it.
Couldnt not come. After all these years.
She packed the empty bag and thermos.
Ill pop by tomorrow, if thats alright. Bring some soup.
Why wouldnt it be? Id like that.
She kissed his cheekfriendly, yet her pulse skipped.
Get well
