Oh man, let me tell you this storyits about this girl, Gemma.
Gem! Gem, whats wrong? Youve gone all stiffcome on, were gonna miss the film! We still need to grab popcorn, her mate Sophie called out.
Gemma blinked like shed been snapped out of a trance. Huh? Her heart was racing like mad.
Whats up with you? Lets go! The lads are already waiting, Sophie huffed.
Soph, listen, Im not feeling great. You go aheadIll head back to halls, Gemma mumbled.
Dyou need a doctor? Youve gone proper pale, Sophie frowned.
Nah, Im fine Just tell Liam sorry, yeah? Gemma tried to sound calm, but her voice wobbled.
Alright, then. Get some rest. Probably just exam stress, Sophie shrugged before hurrying off.
Gemma sat on a bench, gulped some water, and wiped her face. She didnt tell Sophie the real reason shed frozen. It wasnt exams. A few minutes earlier, a pregnant woman had walked past pushing a pram with two toddlers trailing behind. Sophie hadnt noticed, but Gemma She rubbed her cheeks and flashed back ten years.
Gem! Stop dawdling with the dishesI need nappies from the shop, her mum barked from the kitchen.
Gemma dropped a plate. It clattered into the sink, and from the next room, baby Tommy started wailing.
For crying out loud! Now go settle himI just got him down! Useless, her mum snapped.
Gemma swallowed hard and trudged to the cot. She was the oldest in a house where Dad had bailed before she turned two. Mum cycled through boyfriends, having a kid with each. Gemma did all the chores and looked after the littles: Ellie, Mia, Jack, and now Tommy.
He asleep? Mum asked, cracking open a jar of jam.
Yeah Gemma went back to the dishes.
Leave thatget nappies. You can finish after school.
Mum, Ill be late again. My form tutors already on my case.
So what? Ten minutes wont kill you. I skipped school all the time, and I turned out fine, Mum scoffed.
On her way back from the shop, Gemma bumped into her classmates eating ice creams.
Oi, lookits Mummy Gemma, one giggled.
The nickname stuck after shed been seen pushing the pram around. She just wanted to be normalhanging out, going to the cinema, reading books, chatting about boys. Not hauling nappies. She didnt hate her siblings, but she resented her mum.
At eighteen, Gemma dreamed of freedom: uni, moving to London. After Tommys maternity leave, Mum went back to work.
Then one morning, Gemma found her looking green.
Mum, you alright?
No. Make eggs for breakfast. The smells turning my stomach.
Whats wrong? Gemmas voice shook.
Oh, dont be daft. Im pregnant. Me and Dave are having another.
*Why?* Youre forty
Think I wanted this? Dave insisted. Oh, and hes moving in, so well have to squeeze.
That was it. Gemma aced her exams, left in August, and never looked back.
In London, she got a part-time job, made friends, swore shed never have kids.
Miss? You okay? A blokes voice snapped her out of it.
Huh? Sorry, just tired, she mumbled.
Fancy a coffee? Theres a nice spot round the corner.
She said yes. His name was Oliver. They hit it off, started dating. But the closer they got, the more this dread crept in. She mightve wanted marriage, but kids? No. Never.
One evening, Oliver took her to a fancy restaurant. She knew what was cominga proposaland shed already decided to say no.
He slid a velvet ring box across the table.
Gem, I love you. But before you answer theres something you should know.
Yeah? Her vision blurred with tears.
I cant have kids. Its definite. If you marry me, therell be nonebiological or otherwise. I need you to be sure.
Im sure, she choked out.
Gem, really?
I *never* want kids. Theres a lot to explain, but not here. Just knowI mean it.
They married, moved to Brighton. Her family? No idea where she is. She cut ties, built a life with Oliver.
Now? Shes happy. Their little house is warm and quiet. Oliver works at a big firm; she runs an art studio. Evenings are tea on the balcony, easy chats. No drama. Some people dont get it, but Gemma doesnt care.
Sometimes she thinks about her childhood, but it doesnt hurt anymore. Its just part of her storythe one that led her here. And when she catches Oliver smiling at her, she knows: she chose right.
