I’ll call her, he muttered, leaning against the door.
Your lover rang. She sends her regards! Irene flung the words into the air, never taking her eyes off the stove where something familiar sizzled in a pan, as if it were a piece of their shared life.
Andrew froze at the kitchen threshold. Twenty yearsan entire lifetimeflashed before his eyes in a heartbeat. The keys slipped from his grip, clattered onto the floor with a harsh metallic clang that seemed to pierce the silence.
What are you talking about? A lover? his voice trembled, spilling the fears and turmoil of the past months. He felt the ground slip away beneath him.
Alice. Your assistant, isnt it? Irene finally turned, arms crossed over her chest. Shes only twentyfive, says shes been with you for four months now. Congratulations, dear!
In Irenes gaze a pain so deep made Andrew want to vanish into the earthor to wake up, to realize this was just a nightmare.
Irene, Ill explain he began, but the words lodged in his throat.
Explain what? she croaked, a hoarse laugh spilling out. What exactly will you explain, Andrew? That you had fun with your secretary while I was darting between doctors? Or that you lied, saying you were stuck at work?
The pan hissed, and a scent of burnt meat filled the kitchen. Irene reflexively turned off the gas, as if that could halt the pain, the bitterness, the betrayal.
You know whats the most disgusting? her voice dropped to a whisper. I guessed it already. All those meetings, latenight calls, trips away I believed you, like a fool!
Listen, Irene Andrew stepped toward her, but she snapped her hand up, as if erecting an invisible wall.
Dont come closer! tears flashed in her eyes. God, how vile twenty years wasted!
Stop, he tried to steady himself, his voice shaking. Lets just talk calmly. Its complicated.
Complicated? Irene laughed again, a sound that cracked like sobbing. Whats complicated? You took a young lover. She flew in. And I her voice brokeIm just an old woman who cant have children, is that it?
Dont say that! he stepped forward, reaching for her.
She twisted away, as if burned, and a harsh slap ripped through the kitchens quiet.
Get out, she whispered, voice trembling. Get out to her. If she could give you what I never could.
Emma
Go! she snatched the salt shaker from the table and hurled it at him.
Andrew flinched; the salt scattered across the floor, white crystals glinting in the lamp light. Bad omen, flickered through his mind.
Ill call, he muttered again, pressing his back to the door.
Irene turned silently toward the window, shoulders shivering as if cold, though the street outside was already warm.
In the hallway, pulling his coat on hastily, he heard muffled sobs. His hand froze on the door handle. What could he possibly say? How could he justify the betrayal?
The front door slammed shut. The empty flat fell into a deafening hush, broken only by the ticking of the wall clocka wedding gift from his parents. It had ticked for twenty years, counting the seconds of their shared life.
Irene sank slowly into a kitchen chair, her gaze landing on the spilled salt. They say salt brings misfortune, she thought, then burst into a hysterical laugh. It was as if a curse had finally made sense, her life shattered like the white crystals on the dark floor.
His coat pocket buzzed. The phone vibrated. A text from an unknown number: Sorry. I didnt want it to end like this. Alice.
Wretch, Irene whispered, crushing the phone in her hand. Little devil
Outside, rain began to patter. The first drops hit the sill, sounding like someone playing a mournful tune on an invisible xylophone.
Irene rose, mechanically grabbing a broom and dustpan. As she swept up the salt, a ridiculous thought whirled in her mind: I never even asked whether she was waiting for a boy or a girl
She paused, holding the dustpan tight. The rain, the salt, the clocks tickingeverything merged into a single, endless stream, as if life now existed only in these tiny details. Nothing else remained.
Andrew sat in his car, staring blankly at his phone. Fifteen missed calls from his motherobviously Irene, calling her motherinlaw, always doting on the daughterinlaw.
What now? he asked his reflection in the rearview mirror. A weary fortyfiveyearold man stared back, judging him.
The phone buzzed again. Alice lit up the screen.
Yes, love
Where are you? her voice trembled, on the brink of tears. I was so scared she was terrifying!
Who? Andrew asked, confused.
Your wife! She came to my office, caused a scene
What?! he sat up sharply. When?
An hour ago Alice hiccuped. She screamed at the whole office, saying Id broken your family. She threw papers at me they were her test results.
He lowered his head onto the steering wheel with a groan.
I didnt know Alice continued. I really didnt know you couldnt have children. I thought you just didnt want them
A thought I knew, flashed through his mind. Knew and still
Come, she pleaded. Im scared alone.
Im on my way, he muttered.
He turned the key, but the engine coughed before moving. The phone rang againhis mother.
Yes, mum.
Ah, you fool! her voice boomed. What have you done? Lost your conscience?
Mum
Silence! Irene is crying, barely holding herself together. Years together, and you youve gone off with a youngster!
Im not mum, I
Im not your mother any more! Until you get your head straight, dont call, dont show up at the door!
She slammed the receiver. Andrew let the phone drop onto his lap, suddenly heavy. The only sound was the faint rumble of the cars engine.
He gazed at Irenes house, its windows glowing warm and cosy. He could not go there now. He could go nowhere.
He switched off the ignition. The car sighed and fell silent. He was left alone in a silence that suddenly roared.
A short, frantic buzz from the handset.
Dammit, Andrew whispered, pounding the steering wheel until his fingers cramped.
Another buzz a message from Irene: Divorce papers will be ready in a week. Collect your things at the weekend. Im leaving.
He read it over and over. The sentences refused to form a coherent whole. Divorce. All. Twenty years. Crumbled.
A new call cameAlice.
Are you coming? My stomach hurts
On my way! he shouted, jerking the wheel as if it could fling him out of this nightmare.
Rain intensified, wipers scraping feebly, the city melting into grey smears against the glass.
His pocket buzzed againlikely his mother again. He didnt even look. What difference did it make? Everything was already falling apart, and he could not grasp how.
A year earlier, Alice had joined his firm as an intern. Young, bright, eyes full of hope. She looked at him with the same admiration Irene had shown back in university days.
Then a company party, a flirtatious touch, and the affair began. He remembered the excuses he fed his wifebusy at workwhile whisking Alice to restaurants, buying flowers, feeling young again. He rented a flat for their rendezvous, watching her glow with happiness, dreaming of a future.
Fool, he thought, staring at the rainslick road. Old fool.
The phone rang again.
This isnt Alice, Irenes voice cut in, oddly calm. Ive done a test. Guess what? Im waiting for a baby too.
Everything seemed to freeze. A sudden screech of brakes. A crash. Darkness.
Heart attack, the doctor said flatly. Plus traumatic brain injury. Condition serious.
Irene stood by the ICU window, watching a man tangled in wires and tubes. Beside him sat Alice, her chubby face hidden in her hands, soft sobs escaping.
Stop wailing, Irene whispered, not looking at them. This isnt a drama.
Sorry Alice whispered, wiping tears, we wanted a child
Yes, of course, Irene smirked. A child without a father how amusing. And Im without a husband. Brilliant, isnt it?
Did you? Alice stammered, glancing at Irenes barely visible belly.
Did you get knocked up too? Irene laughed. Twenty years of nothing, and nowbam! Maybe nerves.
The monitor beeped a steady rhythm. Outside, rain tapped the windows, refusing to let anyone forget that beyond this white room, life continued.
You know, Irene said, never taking her eyes off the motionless man, I loved him from the first year of university. He was skinny, glasses, everyone teased him. I saw what he really was.
Alice tugged at the hospital curtain, as if something beyond could save her.
Then the wedding, Irene continued, as if speaking to the empty air. Rings, veil, the whole shebang. His mother even cheered, Shell be a good daughterinlaw. And I ended up defective.
Dont say that, Alice murmured, her voice as quiet as a falling leaf.
How else to say it? Irene snapped, eyes sharp as a knife. Do you know how many doctors Ive seen? How many procedures? He kept telling me, Dont worry, love, well manage without kids. He lied.
He loves you, Alice whispered, but even she didnt believe herself.
Even when he does you? Irene laughed, a harsh bark. He was so attentive, so gentle
So Im? Irene taunted, extending a sarcastic hand. A shrewd, childless wife?
No! Alice gasped, silent, unsure what to say next.
You know whats funniest? Irene interjected. I almost get you. Young, in love you fell for a successful man and lost your head. I was the same. Only my mistakehes already my husband.
Andrew shifted slightly in his hospital bed. Both women leaned forward, then fell silent.
What now? Alice asked, breaking the hush.
What will you do? Irene sighed, rubbing her temples. Andrew will have two heirs or heirtobe. Does it matter?
And he? Alice whispered, unable to hold the question.
Let him choose, Irene said, smiling thinly. Old wife with a trailer or young lover with a suitcase.
Im not competing, Alice began, trying to break free from the words that bound her.
Exactly you are, Irene cut in. All of you are. Listen, girl I wont give up my twenty years. Those years are mine, understand? You hopped onto a strangers train, but its not your route, not your station.
A nurse coughed softly from behind.
Visiting hours are over, she announced.
Of course, Irene replied, standing. Lets go, my dear. Ill show you where the tea dispenser is. We have a long night ahead.
Andrew awoke a week later. The first thing he saw was his wife sitting in a chair beside his bed, a hand gently resting on his belly. A thought flickered: Why didnt I notice before?
Irene his voice was hoarse, foreign to his own ears.
She flinched, eyes opening wide.
Did you arrive, handsome? she said with a light tease. I thought youd be off gallivanting with angels.
Sorry
Dont start, Irene snapped. Ive got a solicitor. I wont split the flatkeep the car, youll need it more. Ive quit my job.
What? Andrew tried to stand, panic flooding his face. Why?
Im moving back to Larkfield, to my parents, she said calmly, as if discussing the weather. The airs cleaner there, better for the child.
Irene, dont
Its necessary, Andrew. Its necessary. She smiled, not with joy but with a relief that felt like a weight lifted. Ive thought a lot while youve been lying there. I was a foolish old woman, not because I believed you, but because I was scared to live without you.
I love you, he whispered, as if the words could mend anything.
Love, she nodded, not meeting his gaze. Maybe, in its own way. Like a habit, a part of life. But I dont want to be just a habit.
She rose, shook off her dress as if shedding an unwanted burden.
Alice visited every day. She cried, said shed give up all claims. Silly thing I gave her a good gynaecologists number and a realtor to find a bigger flat. A onebedroom wont fit a baby.
You what? Andrew could not believe his ears, staring at his wife.
Whats the big deal? she shrugged, as if stating the obvious. Were now in the same boat. Actually, the same position amusing, isnt it? All those years of emptiness, and now suddenly two of us. They say misfortune never comes alone. Neither does happiness.
Outside, a spring thunderstorm rolled, tearing the day into pieces.
Dont linger, Irene leaned in, kissing his forehead gently, a simple, final gesture. Ive called a taxi. Ive sent the belongings. Sign the divorce papers when you feel betterwhere else to rush?
Irene
You know, she paused in the doorway, turning back to him, I truly loved you. To the point of madness, of trembling Now its like the air has been sucked out. Thank you for that. And thank her.
She left, quietly closing the door. A faint scent of her perfume lingered, the same scent hed given her each wedding anniversary.
Andrew stared out the window where the spring storm blended rain with snow. In the damp March town, two women now carried his children within themtwo different yet somehow similar worlds, two divergent paths, one tangled story.
He thought, I wonder if the children will be friends. Will they share everything or just a lifetime of division?
