Im not your mother any longer, I said, and the words hung heavy between us.
Look, well have to sell the flat, Simon muttered, eyes glued to the floor, and the car too. Those lads wont leave us be. Its not just me wholl be in the firing line you and little Mary are in the crosshairs as well.
Couldnt we go to the police? I asked.
What police? he snapped, finally lifting his gaze. I owe them a proper amount, and the interest is compounding so fast I might as well hang myself. Youll have to stay with my mother for a while.
And me?
I need to get out of here. I wont be able to settle the debts the business is already gone. Im heading north where the construction crews are paying decent wages. Maybe things will settle down there.
Natalie had sensed the tide turning when roughlooking men with a clear criminal record began dropping by the house, pulling Simon out onto the street for talks. Hed return from those meetings looking hollow, sometimes angry. He started shouting at Mary for the smallest slips, and the fouryearold, who was no trained dog, could only stare, bewildered.
Simons business had always been a bit of a mystery. Yes, his firm sold computer equipment online, but Natalie never knew where the laptops and monitors were sourced. Most of it was probably counterfeit whole batches had to be pulled from the market from time to time. Each time, Simon would have to dive deeper into debt just to keep afloat. Hed managed to wriggle out a few times, but this time the rope had finally tightened.
Natalie had grown up in a small village and could have gone back to live with her parents in a modest cottage. Yet she didnt want to quit her job she was deputy headmistress at an elite private school that taught English as a first language, and a headship was on the horizon since Mrs. Anderson had announced shed retire in a year. Walking away would have been foolish.
Living under her motherinlaws roof was never going to be a idyll either. From the start, the relationship had been strained. At first Natalie was a country bumpkin you can see the village a mile away from your shoes. When she graduated with honours and started teaching at the specialist English school, the sneers turned to, shes a foreign fancy lady who shouldnt be in the kitchen. Yet Natalies borscht was the best Simon ever tasted, and he praised it often. Only the long school day, which ran late into the evening, left little time for home cooking.
Mrs. Anderson was delighted by her granddaughter but, to put it mildly, not thrilled with Natalie:
Good wives never run off to the North.
Its not me shes fleeing, its his creditors. Hes buried in debt.
And where have you been looking? A good wife keeps the finances tight. Back in our day that was called running the household. Youve never even managed a decent dinner for your daughter.
When I have time I cook everything.
Why dont you have time? What kind of school has lessons until night? Ill have a look myself. Im starting to think youve taken the place of his proper wife.
One evening she turned up at the school for an inspection. Shouldnt have come, she muttered later, the complaints only grew. The signs were all in foreign fonts, and the cats roaming the corridors were, in her eyes, a sanitary nightmare. This is a school, not a zoo, she declared, eyeing the slender, lanky teacher who often glanced at Natalie. He looks at her like hes shedding his clothes with his eyes.
The lanky one was David Spencer, another English teacher. He seemed to have a friendly inclination toward Natalie, but he never crossed the line, aware of her family.
The cats, you see, were part of a British educational method that believed close contact with animals would soften a childs heart. So the school kept a few British Shorthairs that were allowed to wander onto desks during lessons. They were mostly wellbehaved, though.
Simon occasionally sent emails about where hed ended up, but he kept the details vague. Those same rough men showed up a couple of times, asking about his whereabouts. Then the messages stopped altogether, and Natalie grew anxious. Maybe the creditors have tracked him down, she fretted. Her motherinlaw, oddly calm, replied:
If theyd found him, theyd have stopped coming to us.
Then why did he go silent?
You dont know the whole story. Hes a decent fellow; he wont stay single forever.
A year later, just before the school term ended, Simon wrote that hed met another woman and was now living with her. He didnt call it an affair after all, there was never a legal marriage between him and Natalie. He said nothing about the daughter, as if she didnt exist. Mrs. Anderson instantly found an excuse:
Looks like he knows Mary isnt his.
How can that be? She was born while he was around.
Born to him, not by him that can happen.
Mother, stop this nonsense!
Im no longer your mother. I might be a grandmother to Mary, but from today on Im Elizabeth Marlowe to you, or perhaps no relation at all thats better.
It was obvious Natalie would have to move out of the exmotherinlaws flat. The thought of finding a place to rent in the city, while also supporting Mary, seemed overwhelming. She could try to scrimp, but why stay in a town where, apart from her daughter, she had no family left? Her own parents, hearing of her troubles, were already urging her to return to the countryside, where a teaching post would be easy to find villages always needed a schoolmaster.
Mrs. Anderson put the schools headship on hold:
Girl, dont lose your temper. Im planning to keep the school running, and the boards fine with it.
But where will Mary and I live?
Ill talk to the board. Maybe theyll fund a rental or grant a loan. In the meantime, you can move into my cottage. The academic years winding down, Mays here, no heating needed. My husband and I only use it on weekends. When summer comes you can take a holiday and then head to your parents.
David offered to transport their few belongings in his car. All they had left were a couple of sets of clothes and some dishes. On the drive he asked:
So where will you stay in winter?
Mrs. Anderson promised to find us somewhere to rent.
Why bother? Ive got a spare onebed flat. I stay with my mum most of the time shes ill and cooks for me. You cant live on packaged noodles forever.
Ill see what comes of it. Im heading to the village for the summer, might even stay there permanently.
And what about our school? Youre being set up as headmaster
Ive been set up for marriage before. Schools are everywhere.
At the cottage, Mary thrived on the fresh air; her cheeks flushed pink, and she grew stronger. She and Mrs. Anderson quickly struck up a friendship, as did the husband, and they began to feel like one big family.
Natalie thought less often of her former life. It hurt, of course, but perhaps it was for the best. In any case, Simon would eventually abandon them hed never wanted to go through the registry office anyway.
The same David drove Natalie, Mary, and her mother to the village. By evening they arrived, unloaded the few belongings, and David began to head back when Natalies mother called:
Stay a while, where will you go tonight? Ill bring fresh milk and well have supper.
Natalie followed her mother, muttering:
Did you really think David Spencer was a suitable husband for me?
Isnt that so?
No, theres nothing between us, and nothing planned.
Dont fool yourself about whats being planned. I can see the way he looks at you and Mary would be fine with him
From a distance Natalie watched David and Mary chatting and laughing. Maybe theres nothing wrong with a little imagination, she thought.
A warmth settled over her, a calm she hadnt felt since childhood.
