You really have no common sense at all. Cant you see how badly Michael is doing? Hes your brotheryou couldve helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
Just the other day, Mum rang me up and asked me to swing by and collect all my stuff from her flat.
Your things are practically taking over the place, she told me, sounding halfexasperated, halfbemused.
That call came right after I turned down Michaels request for cash to cover the deposit on a new flat. I wasnt offering a loan; I was refusing outright, because I know hed never repay it.
When I said no, Michael stormed out of my flat, redfaced and convinced Id simply hand over all my savings because hes got a family and kids, whereas I dont.
I needed to vent, because the whole family seems to think Im the villain, especially with the holidays looming.
When I first moved to Leeds for university, I jumped straight into a parttime job. I started out in halls of residence, then shared a flat with a friend. I didnt want to be a financial crutch for Mum, so I made ends meet and even sent a little extra her way when I could.
Mum never took cash from me directly; instead shed ask me to bring back useful thingsclothes, shoes, a few bits for the house. And every time I dropped by, Id lug home bags of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Michael. Our dad passed away three years ago.
Michael never got into studying. After school he offshored to the Netherlands, where the only thing he managed to buy was an ancient car. Back in the UK he ended up as a taxi driver.
Later on he married Charlotte, and they moved into Mums flat. Money has always been a tightrope for them; they live daytoday, blowing their wages as soon as theyre paid. Mum and Charlottes parents have been bailing them out time and again, so Michael grew used to a safety net that required no effort on his part to improve his finances.
Now they have two kids, with a third on the way, and theyve decided Mums flat is getting too cramped. Theyre starting to think about buying their own place.
Im living with my partner, Thomas, in a rented flat. Were planning to get married, but well push the wedding back until the timing feels right. Thomas works as an IT engineer, and I run a few online shops. Were careful with our money, saving up for a house of our own so we can be truly independent after the wedding.
Mum knows all this, yet she hinted to Michael that he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a flat but theyve got no cash for the deposit, Mum told me.
When Michael came over and asked outright for money, I said no. He was livid, apparently convinced I owed him something just because hes got a brood and I dont.
Later Mum called again, You really have no conscience. Cant you see how hard things are for Michael? Hes your brotheryou could have helped. All you ever think about is yourself.
She added, Come get your stuff from our flat. We cant move around because of your clutter. And dont even think about showing up for Christmas. Michaels angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill collect my things and shove them into our rented flat. And when Thomas and I finally buy our own house, Ill make sure theres a room for everything they left behind.
I could have lent Michael the cash, but I know hed never have repaid it. He never even asked for a loanhe just assumed Id hand over my entire savings because, what, hes got kids.
If you were in my shoes, what would you have done?
