My daughterinlaw Emmas husband, John Spencer, always seemed a mystery to my mother, Margaret Thomson. He was never one to settle down, and the idea of a conventional family life didnt appear to suit him at all.
John was often away from home; either his job kept him busy or he would dash off on a sudden mission with his mates. It never quite looked like the life most people led. Margaret began to worry for Emma.
Three years of marriage had passed and there were still no children. It looked as if John preferred his friends to his own family. Emma would tell me they werent ready yet they were still too young. I sometimes wondered whether John might have a lover somewhere, especially when Emma would stare at him with trusting eyes and believe every word he said.
Even though Emma seemed content with John and they lived apart, Margarets main concern was that Emma should be truly happy. She felt something had to be done, but wasnt sure what.
Margaret was not the type to meddle or tell people how to live, yet she also didnt want to sit by and watch things go awry. She thought she should observe her soninlaw more closely, understand him, and perhaps that would bring some clarity.
In time she saw through Johns nature he liked to show off a little, to be seen as the life of the party. On Margarets birthday he presented her with an enormous bouquet of roses; the guests were amazed and sang his praises.
What a soninlaw youve got, they said. He clearly loves his motherinlaw, not a pennypincher.
The bouquet was truly impressive, but it was evident John bought it more to flaunt himself than out of genuine affection. Margaret, thinking of the familys modest budget, silently noted, He could have given me the money instead a fivethousandpound bouquet is a fortune. She kept quiet, though she appreciated the gesture.
After some reflection Margaret decided John did have potential and that his flamboyant traits could be turned to the familys benefit. Other sonsinlaw would help out on the country cottage or earn more, but John disliked the countryside and spent most of his time travelling, so coaxing him there was futile.
Then an opportunity arose, though not a pleasant one John got involved in a minor road accident. Michael Evans was stopped at a traffic light when it turned red. Suddenly a reckless driver slammed into his bumper, shouting that hed been trying to beat the light and that Michael had forced him to stop, making him at fault.
Michael was a quiet, responsible man who would gladly take the blame to avoid a fuss. He never got tangled in such dramas himself. Margaret recalled John once saying, If anything happens to a car, Im ready to help straight away. Anything can happen.
True to his word, John replied instantly, though he often used work as an excuse for not helping. You mean the red light incident? Ill call Michael right away where did this happen, Margaret? he asked, then sped off.
John arrived at the crash site in a flash, spoke with the police officers, cited the relevant roadtraffic regulations and got Michael cleared of any wrongdoing. The whole affair was resolved quickly, and Michael walked away unscathed.
After that episode John strutted around Margaret like a hero, a side of him she had never seen before. Emma later explained to her mother,
Mom, thats just how John is he loves me for that. His job at the fire service is always hectic, and he needs to feel like a hero. Hell move mountains for that feeling. A quiet life isnt his style; hes like a boy at heart. Thats why hes always out helping friends, pulling cars out of ditches or rescuing a mate whose boat capsized. Just last week his friend Leo Barkers boat tipped over; John hauled a whole sack of fish back as a thankyou.
Why didnt you tell me before? I was worrying that your husband was indifferent, Margaret smiled.
I thought youd say I chose the wrong man, that you and my dad wanted everything neat and tidy. But with John, life is a bit like living on a volcano chaotic, but we love it.
Thats wonderful, Margaret hugged Emma, feeling she now had a clearer picture of her future.
When their grandmother, Dorothy Spencer, suffered a severe back problem at her cottage, she needed to be taken to the city hospital. Dorothys family called John straight away,
John, we cant manage without you. Shes heavy, we need to transport her.
John arrived with a colleague in a work van equipped with a special stretcher. They lifted Dorothy into the seat and drove her to the clinic. After that, Margarets respect for her soninlaw grew even more.
A few weeks later, Margaret found herself in an awkward situation. While shopping for a small set of garden rakes in a shop during a cold winter morning, she slipped on the pavement outside a neighbours house, grabbed onto a passing car with the rakes to keep from falling, and set off the cars alarm. The owner, a man named Gary, stormed out, shouting, Whats this, lady? Youve scratched my new car! Ive got a dashcam, dont try anything!
Just then John, driving his old foreign car, pulled up.
You cant be shouting at my motherinlaw, John said. My cars ancient, I barely nudged yours. Look, youve got no scratches; heres a thousand pounds for the trouble.
Gary examined his vehicle, saw no damage, and accepted the money. Margarets reputation was saved from embarrassment.
Because John had once called her Mum by mistake, Margarets affection for him only deepened. She finally understood why Emma adored him for his warm heart and willingness to step in.
The familys newest addition came in the form of a clever little scheme. On her fathers birthday, Emma and John dropped by to wish Michael Evans well. While chatting, Emma recalled a school friend, Gillian from the flat next door, and asked how she was doing.
Margaret, knowing Gillian and her husband were on holiday, slipped in, Lydia, Gillians mother, confided that theyve been dreaming of a child for ages. Its more common to have boys in winter, so theyre hoping the season will be on their side.
She raised an eyebrow knowingly. John perked up, scratching his head,
Boys in winter? We could use a lad too. Ill take him to the fire service and well save lives together.
Soon after, Emma announced she was expecting, and by the end of summer Margaret welcomed her first grandchild, a little boy named Dennis.
Now John dotes on his motherinlaw, and Margaret has grown fond of her soninlaw as well. Hes a good bloke; you wont go wrong with him. He may not love the cottage now, but once the grandchildren start visiting, hell treasure it.
Were all different, but its better to look for the good in each other, because its almost always there, rather than cling to the flaws.
Wishing everyone happiness, health and a bit of everyday wisdom.
