Dear Diary,
Youve got no sense at all. Cant you see how badly Matthew is struggling? Hes my brother I could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.
A few days ago Mum rang and asked me to collect all my things from her flat.
Youre practically crowding the place with your stuff, she said.
That call came after I refused to give Matthew any money for the deposit on a flat. I wasnt lending I was giving because I know full well hed never pay me back.
When I said no, Matthew stormed out of my flat, furious. He was convinced Id just hand over my savings because he has a family and children, whereas I dont.
I need to get this off my chest; my familys treatment of me feels downright unfair, especially with the holidays looming.
When I moved to Manchester for university, I immediately took a parttime job.
At first I lived in a hall of residence, then I rented a flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on Mum, so I made sure I could support myself and also help her where I could.
She never accepted cash directly; instead she always asked me to bring useful items clothes, shoes, household goods.
And whenever I visited, Id arrive with bags full of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Matthew. Our father passed away three years ago.
Matthew never cared for study. After finishing school he went to work in the Netherlands, and the only thing he ever managed to buy there was an ageing car. Back in the UK he started driving a taxi.
Later he married and moved into Mums flat with his wife, Claire.
Theyve always been short on money, because Matthew lives handtomouth. The moment they get a paycheck, its gone.
Mum and Claires parents regularly pitch in financially. Matthew knows there will always be someone to bail him out, so he never makes an effort to earn more or improve his situation.
Now Matthew and Claire have two children, and a third is on the way.
Theyve decided Mums flat has become too cramped and are looking at buying their own place.
As for me, I live with my partner, Thomas, in a rented flat. We plan to marry, but weve agreed to postpone the wedding until the timing feels right. Our incomes are steady Thomas works as an IT engineer, and I run several online shops.
We avoid needless spending and are saving for a house of our own, so we can live independently after we tie the knot.
Mum knew about our plans, yet she still let Matthew think he could ask me for help.
They want to buy a house but they have no cash for the deposit, Mum told me.
When Matthew came over and asked outright for money, I said no.
He was livid. He believed I owed him simply because he has a family and I dont.
Later Mum called again and scolded me:
You have no conscience. Cant you see how hard it is for Matthew? Hes your brother you could have helped. You only think of yourself.
She added:
Come collect your things from our flat. We cant move around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Matthews angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.
I didnt argue. Ill pack my belongings and find a spot for them in our rented flat. When Thomas and I finally purchase our own home, Ill make sure they have a place there.
I could have lent Matthew the money, but I know he would never have repaid it. He didnt even ask for a loan he just expected me to hand over all my savings because he has kids.
Just because hes a father
How would you have acted in a situation like this?
