28October2025
Dear Diary,
Today the front door opened and my heart leapt at the sound of my sons footsteps. Nicholas shuffled his battered flat cap at the threshold and shouted, Hey, Mum! Im not coming alone. He nudged a wiry lad in glasses forward, a backpack sagging over his shoulders.
Good heavens, what have you brought? I exclaimed, eyes wide. Is that Tom or Jack youre carrying? I cant recognise him without his spectacles.
Nicholas perched on the old wooden chair, his hands trembling. Put the cap on, love, he said. This is Billy, my son out of wedlock. Remember when Emma and I spent a year apart? I fell in with Valerie then, and Billy was the result. I foolishly registered him as my own from the start. He sighed, the weight of his confession hanging in the air.
I snapped at him, Dont speak of that in front of a child. Hes still too young to know about your tangled life. Billy, go to the lounge and watch some telly while your father and I sort things out. The boy slipped out without a word and disappeared down the hallway.
I whispered to Nicholas, Does Emma know anything about this? I added, She never liked having a soninlaw, always a scold and a meddler. His face hardened. Youve got to be joking, Mum. If she had found out, shed have chased me out barefooted long ago. I built him from the ground up with my own two hands. He shivered at the thought.
I let out a weary sigh. Youre a mess, my son. Not a man but a drifter, forever under Emmas thumb. And now youve brought a boy into the familys sidedoorwhat a miracle. Why did you bring him here? If Emma discovers this, Ill never see her again.
Nicholas, nervous, tried to explain. Valerie, that snake, was planning to wed a new fellow and fled south for a month. She called me, begging me to take the boy wherever I liked. I told her Id gone madmy wife would throw us both out. She warned shed make my life hell if I didnt comply. I handed her Billys birth certificate and told her to manage as she saw fit. Thats the end of it for me. She barely spoke to me for half a year, but I decided to let him stay with you for a month, then Ill fetch him back. He never even looked me in the eye.
I shook my head. Youve always been that way, Nicholas. If you manage to ruin anything, Ill help you patch it up. Fine, where shall we put him? Hes not of our sort, is he? And are you sure hes really yours? I paused, waiting for his answer.
He waved a hand. Hes mine, dont doubt it. Valerie isnt a saint either, but shes loyal. The room fell silent. I sprang to my feet. What am I doing standing here? Let me at least get him something to eat.
Nicholas rose, apologising, Sorry, Mum, Ive got to be off. Emmas waiting at home. I told her I was off to pick up spare parts in London. Feed Billy and Ill be gone. He left, and I clutched my wayward sons arm, whispering, God be with you, my dear.
Billy ate with astonishing speed, never looking away from his plate. I asked, halfamused, Do you want any more? He shook his head, No thanks, Im good. I suggested, Why dont you go out for a stroll while I finish dinner? Whats in your bag? He mumbled, Things. I asked, Will you wash them yourself, or do I have to? He looked up, frightened, I cant. Mum always does the washing.
I lifted his tiny rucksack, Alright, Ill have a look and rinse whats dirty. He stepped out, and I sorted through his simple belongings: two tshirts, a pair of shorts, and a few underpants. Not much, is it? I muttered, Even a warm jumper is missing. Typical mumish neglect. While soaking his clothes in the basin, I turned the oven to bake a cherry tart.
A sudden cry from the street made me dash out, flour still on my hands. Whats happened? I called. Billy burst back, clutching his leg, tears streaming. A goose pecked me! It hurts. I knelt, examining the red welt. Why did you go near the geese? Theyre out grazing, and you were in the yard.
I just wanted to watch them, he sobbed. Ive never really looked at geese up close. I smiled weakly, Alright, lets get you into the house, Ill rub some ointment on that. I guided him back inside, laid him on the sofa, and tried to settle down for the night.
Sleep evaded me. The house felt heavy, as if the weight of my own choices pressed down. I heard a soft whimper from the bedroom and, creeping over, found Billy curled up, eyes wide. Whats wrong, dear? Dont you like it here? I asked gently. He whispered, Theyll take me to a boarding school when Uncle Victor arrives. I heard Mum and Uncle Victor talking about sending me away. I dont want that. I love staying with you. His voice cracked with tears.
My heart clenched. I wrapped my arms around his thin frame. Dont cry, sweet Billy. I wont let anyone hurt you. Ill speak to your mother, and youll stay with me. We have a good school nearby, teachers who care. Well go berrypicking, tend the cows, and youll grow strong on fresh milk. Youll see, tomorrow Ill introduce you to Paul, a sturdy lad who drinks his milk like a champion. Does that sound good? He held me tighter, Ill believe you, but will you keep your word?
I pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. I promise, love.
Years have slipped by. Valerie would drop by now and then, bringing little gifts, always hurried off by Uncle Victor. Nicholas appeared occasionally, but rarely. Emma, upon learning of Billy, blamed me rather than her husband, claiming she didnt want any more grandchildren, only occasional visitors. I hardly minded. The skinny boy I once cared for has grown into a sturdy youngster. Every morning I prepare his favourite dishes and peek through the kitchen window, hoping to catch a glimpse of his bright smile.
Today, a young soldier in uniform stepped into the house and called, Grandma, Im here, where are you? I ran to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. Billy, my dear grandson! I asked, Going back to Mum? He set down his fork, looked bewildered, Which mum? The one who left me and only brings trinkets once a year? No, I wont go. Youre my mum, and thats final. He began eating calmly, while I, unnoticed, brushed away a tear. The joy of having a grandson to care for in my old age swelled my heart.
I close this entry with gratitude. May the days ahead be gentle, and may Billy always feel the love of his grandmother.
Evelyn Parker.
