In the hallway two battered suitcases waited for her
Are you kidding me?First you make me look after your baby, now you want to hang a little boy on my neck too? the man roared, his voice echoing off the flats cracked plaster.
Have you lost your mind? Let her go to the workhouse if she wants.
Diana Turner tried desperately to calm her husband, pleading and even weeping, but he was unmoved: Either Natalie cleans up the mess with the baby, or Im out of here!
Natalie had spent every waking second of her fiveyear childhood begging for Dianas love, but even while living under her roof, the mothers indifference was a cold, steady wind.
She fed her, dressed her, washed her, shuttled her to the nursery, yet any tenderness was forever out of reach.
When the marriage fell apart, the father vanished to a distant job site and was never seen again. He had always been sporadicoff on a shift here, a night out there and whenever he was home, fights with Diana erupted like thunder. So his disappearance was a relief; it was Diana she missed, the woman who had once been her whole world.
Immediately after the divorce, Diana sent Natalie to stay with her own mother in a small Yorkshire village.
Dont you think youre being a spoiled brat, the old woman, Nora Whitaker, snapped, her voice as sharp as the wind that rattled the cottage windows. Your mothers had enough hardship in her life; she deserves a chance at happiness. Or do you not love her?
I love her, Natalie whispered, tears blurring the thatched roof, unable to understand why her mother seemed lighter without her.
Years later, overhearing fragments of adult conversations, Natalie pieced together the story of her mothers suffering. In her youth, Diana had been passionately involved with a man named Brian Hart, and they had even planned to marry. A bitter quarrel sent Brian to a more ambitious fiancée. Out of spite, Diana wed Natalies father, a gentle man who adored her, and gave birth to Natalie, hoping to bury the betrayal.
The marriage was ordinaryhusband, child, a modest council flat, a parttime jobbut Brian resurfaced, asking for forgiveness and promising riches to his former betrothed. Desperate, Diana threw herself into his arms, as if diving into a whirlpool. Her new husband, however, could not stomach the sight of a girl who belonged to another man, so Diana hurriedly sent Natalie back to her grandmother.
Nora, though stern, treated her granddaughter with a firm hand, pulling her into chores, livestock care, and garden work. She yelled now and then, but the household ran smoothly, and Natalie waited each month for Dianas visits, heart pounding at the thought of an embrace and a promise: Come home, love. Ive missed you so.
One day, Lily Morgan, Natalies school friend, sneered, Well, look at you, Natalie! Everyone knows your mum swapped you for a bloke, and you still cling to fairytale hopes!
You dont get it! Natalie snapped. Its just…circumstances.
Right, right! Absolutely extraordinary! Lily laughed, the sound ringing cruelly.
The two had even fought seriously over the comment before reconciling, because after all, they were friends.
When Natalie turned fifteen, Nora passed away. Though the loss weighed heavy, Natalie finally saw a chance to live with Dianano orphanage would claim her, after all. The state had not taken her in, but the family home was hardly welcoming either.
Send her to study in another city, Brian had argued, believing he could give her a dorm and a trade.
Brian, thats not right, Diana protested weakly. Shes just lost her grandmother; what will people think?
Youre always on the shift, youll barely notice her. Ill talk to her.
Reluctantly, the stepfather grumbled, Fine, lets try.
Natalies hatred for him deepened. If not for Brian, perhaps mother and daughter could have lived happily together. She threw herself into household tasks, applying everything Nora had taught her. The flat gleamed under her care, and Diana soon forgot how to iron or sort laundry. Natalie even cooked better than her mother, and after ninth grade she planned to train as a hairdresser, hoping to support Diana one day.
She imagined that if she earned enough, she could push Brian awayafter all, Diana was now entirely dependent on him, having long stopped working.
Natalie sensed that Dianas affection for her husband was waning. He was a roundbodied, balding, pedantic man, while Diana was still young, beautiful, and vivacious. Yet she kept those thoughts to herself.
About a year later, while Natalie attended college, Diana announced a new suitora handsome, welloff solicitor named Nicholas Clarke. Theyd been dating for months and were planning to marry.
Hell be perfect for you! Diana gushed, telling Natalie about Nicholas. Well move to a country house with staff and everything.
Are you sure? Natalie asked, doubt flickering across her face.
She, too, felt Diana deserved better than the crude Brian, but Nicholas gave her no comfort either.
Absolutely! Diana insisted.
Nicholas, however, had a different agenda. When he learned that Diana was pregnanta fact she had banked onhe withdrew like a tide receding. It turned out he already had a wife, two children, and a powerful fatherinlaw who would never tolerate scandal.
The fatherinlaw will crush us if he finds out about the baby, Nicholas warned, his tone cold. He doesnt care whether the woman is yours or not. No one dares cross him. Youd better think about an abortion.
But it was too late for that option; the pregnancy was far advanced. Diana, terrified of the looming threat, begged Natalie, You have to save mesave us both. If Brian leaves, well have nothing.
Mom, well manage. Ill get a job soon
Manage?! Diana shrieked, tears flooding her cheeks. I want a normal life! A decent life!
She broke down even more, shaking Natalie to the core.
Fine, Diana finally said, voice trembling, if you dont want to be left motherless, help me.
Of course, Mum! You know I love you! Natalie sobbed, her eyes brimming.
Dianas plan was simple and ruthless. She would give birth, then register the child under Natalies name. At seventeen, no one would question the fathers identity. She would claim no knowledge of who the babys father was, and there would be no scandaljust a consensual arrangement.
The pregnancy progressed quietly; by seven months Diana stayed home, venturing out only when necessary. She and Natalie moved to a modest bungalow in a council estate, where a midwife attended the home birth for a fee.
Brian, on a sixmonth offshore assignment, never learned of the events unfolding back home.
When the baby, a boy named Daniel, emerged, the flat was suddenly filled with tension.
What the! Brian exploded on his return, eyes wild at the sight of the infant.
Brian, calm down! Ill explain everything, Diana sputtered, trying to soothe him. Its just a girls first love gone wrong, but the child is innocent
Are you mad? Not only am I feeding your daughter, you now want to hang a boy on my throat too?! he shouted.
Have you lost your mind? Let her go to the workhouse if she wants!
Diana pleaded, tears streaming, but Brian held firm: Either Natalie cleans up with the baby, or Im out.
Dont worry, love, Brian will calm down, Diana tried to reassure Natalie.
But calm never came. Two days after Brians return, Natalie came back from a walk with Daniel to find two suitcases waiting in the hallway.
Her stepfather stood like a statue, the choice clear. Diana hovered, eyes pleading, then whispered, Natalie, maybe you should give the baby to a childrens home?
In that moment Natalie realized she would never receive her mothers love or understanding. Diana had chosen a path that excluded her forever.
With a fierce resolve, Natalie lifted the sleeping Daniel from his pram and handed him to Diana.
Your sondo whatever you want with him.
She stepped out of the flat into a heavy silence, clutching one suitcase while the other clearly contained the babys belongings. In that house she had no place left.
