Tommy was sure he was in for a right telling-off, and not from the neighborhood troublemaker Baz, but from his own mum.
He whistled as he walked home, but his chest tightenedoh, he was in for it now.
Auntie Maggie, his mums best mate, had spotted him with a fag. He couldve lied, said someone handed it to him, but noAuntie Maggie had seen him puffing away. What was he supposed to tell his mum? That someone had shoved it in his mouth?
Tommy pretended not to notice her, and to her credit, she didnt scream or clip him round the earjust gave him a long look before walking off.
But Tommy wasnt daft. He *knew* Auntie Maggie had already snitched, and now his mum was waiting with the slipper. Hed circled the block three times when he spotted Nan.
Right, heavy artillery. This was a dirty trick. Now Nan would startthe tears, the guilt, the lecture about how shed raised hundreds of kids as a respected teacher, yet her own grandson had gone off the rails. How ashamed she was, how his grandad must be rolling in his grave, along with every ancestor before him.
When Tommy was little, that bit terrified him. Hed imagine the earth shifting as they turned in their graves. Then one day, hed had enough. The next time Nan started wailing about restless ancestors, Tommy said, Good, keeps em from getting bedsores, like Old Mrs. Jenkins down the road.
Nan gripped her chest. Mum burst out laughing, forgetting to wallop himearning herself a smack from Nan with a tea towel.
Now, Tommy watched Nan hurrying toward him.
Whatre you doing out here? Why arent you home? she demanded, eyes darting like *she* was the one caught smoking. Had a row with your mum?
N-no I havent even been home yet.
What dyou mean? Whereve you been all this time?
School, then football, then walking.
Hold up Tommy braced himself. Here it came. Whats this, then? Look at your handsred raw! Where are your gloves?
Left them at home.
At *home*? And your mum didnt notice? Whats *wrong* with her? Lift your trouser leg.
Nan yanked his hem up and gasped.
Whats *this*?
What, Nan? Tommy panicked.
Why are your ankles red? Where are your thermals? And your scarf?
Tommy burned with shameespecially when he spotted Baz watching from the alley, his stupid red cap bobbing. Oh, *Nan*, why did she have to do this?
Maybe she was going senile. Shed always been sharp, but this?
Nan whats five times five?
Twenty-five, she said, puzzled.
Whats the square of the hypotenuse?
Sum of the squares of the other two sides. Tommy, lovedid you not do your homework? She didnt even check? Right, were sorting this.
Waitwas Nan on *his* side? Maybe hed dodge Mums lecture. Had he slipped into another dimension? Was Nan even *Nan*?
Nan, which sides my appendix scar on?
Youve never had your appendix out.
Okay, definitely Nan.
She dragged him home, huffing all the way.
Mum was in the kitchen, something delicious-smelling on the stove. She wore her nice dress, curls pinned up, new earringsand *heels* indoors?
Tommy, love! She hugged him. Wash up, dinners ready. Mum, you staying?
Whys this child roaming the streets? Scared to come home, is he? Well done, well doneneglecting your own flesh and blood for *that*! Where are his gloves? His thermals? Its freezing! But you dont care, do you?
Mum, *stop*. Are you eating with us or not?
No! Im done here. And you know what? She turned to Tommy. Pack your things, love. Youre coming with me.
Why?
To *live* with me.
No thanks, Nan.
The thought of Nan nagging him forever? No chance.
Tommys staying *here*, Mum said firmly. In his own home. With his family.
What family? Youve thrown it all away! Tommy, get your things.
Mum, if you dont stop, Ill
What? *What*? Kick your own mother out?
*Yes*!
You ungratefulafter all Ive done for you!
Mum didnt let her finish. She grabbed Nans arm, marched her onto the landing, and shut the door.
Nan shrieked about calling the police, demanding Tommy, yelling about some jailbird.
Mum pulled Tommy into the living roomwhere a strange man sat, eyeing him warily.
Tommy no point lying. This is your dad.
Nan bashed the door. Mum stood frozen, hands limp. The mantall, thin, with Tommys eyesstood hesitantly.
Hello son.
Tommy recoiled, backed against the door.
You said you said he was *dead*.
Annie the man sighed.
Not me, Dave. *Mum* told him that. Said it was better than knowing the truth.
The doorbell rangpersistent.
Police! Open up!
Annie, maybe I should go
No. Were done hiding. Tommy, well explain everything. Just wait
Mum opened the door to a shrieking Nan, a baffled officer, and nosy neighbors.
We had reports of a disturbance
Everythings fine. Family dinner. My husbands home from the North. Our son.
But your mother
Hes an escaped convict! Nan wailed. Arrest him! Tommy, come here!
Mum, enough!
The officer checked Dads ID.
Any convictions?
No. Worked up North since school.
Sorry for the trouble.
Nan kept screeching about ruined lives until Mum shut the door.
A *dad*? Eleven years without onewhy now? Hed grown up ashamed, believing his father was a drunken thug whod died in a brawl. Nans secret, shed said. To spare him the shame.
But it was all lies.
Tommy Mum reached for him, but he dodged, snatched his jacket and trainers, and bolted.
He ran, tears blurring his vision. Who could he trust?
Tommy! Mum shouted after him.
Oi, kid Bazs voice.
Tommy ignored him.
Hold up! Whos after you?
Baz grabbed his arm. Nobody. Piss off.
Its brass monkeys out here. Youll catch your death. Come mine.
Tommy hesitated.
Mums away on shifttrain attendant. Im on me own.
Bazs flat was shabby but clean. Posters covered his wallsThe Beatles, Queen, Oasis.
Fancy a cuppa?
Tommy nodded, stomach growling.
Hungry? Fancy some pasta n sardines?
Tommy shrugged.
Baz whipped up spaghetti, fried onions, tossed in tinned sardines.
Tommy had never tasted anything so good.
They sipped tea from chipped mugs, sugar cubes wrapped in train-stamped paper.
Listen I never asked. Whats your real name?
Baz laughed. Dave. Dave Cooper.
Why Baz?
Dunno. Stuck, didnt it?
Later, Baz played guitarbadly but earnestly.
You should go home. Theyll have the rozzers out for you.
Tommy scowled.
Whats the matter?
So Tommy told him.
Dont be daft. A dads *brilliant*. Ive never had one.
Wheres yours?
Dunno. Mum reckons hes an astronaut.
Really?
Shes fibbing. Found him on a train, likely. No family, just us. But she kept me. You sort it, Tommy. Grown-up rubbish, aint it?
Ta, Dave.
For what?
Everything. Tommy hugged him tight.
Dave was right.
They found himMum, Nan, the neighbors, even the officer. And *him*Dad.
The truth came out. How Mum fell pregnant, how Nan disapproved. How Dad went North for work, how Nan forged letters, pretending Mum had remarried.
Dads angry reply. His two-year fling. Mum filing for divorce. Their secret letters.
Why? Tommy asked Nan.
I wanted happiness for you both.
What about *his*?
Nan wept. Forgive me.
On Tommys birthday, he invited Davewho gave him a Beatles poster. Mum even let him hang it.
Tommy forgave them all.
Like Dave saidgrown-up rubbish.
Nan took Dave under her wingfed him pies, helped with maths.
Years later, they still sang badly at barbecues, eating sardine pasta like kings.
And Dad? Tommy loved him. He had half-siblings nowall friends. But with Tommy?
A special bond.
