**A Sea of Doubt**
The night had fallen, rain had just passed, and through the window, Eleanor saw her blurred reflectiona woman with a tangled soul. For months, she had been torn between two men. Between duty and passion. Between the past and the future.
The first was Edward, her husband. With him, she felt safe, warm, and comfortable. In their six years together, he had built a cosy, unshakable fortress around her. The second In her mind, she referred to him only as “the boy.” He was younger, and in that word lay the boundless, terrifying tenderness she feared to set free even in her own thoughts.
Edward had been introduced by friends.
After a humiliating breakup with a school sweetheart who had chosen her best friend, Eleanor had retreated into herself, swearing off relationships. She convinced herself she was destined to be a background figure in other peoples love storiesno grand declarations, no armfuls of flowers, no sleepless nights of joy. Just grey, monotonous days.
Then, at a party, her friend pointed out Edward:
“Look, thats the architect I told you about. Clever, ambitious. And most importantlysolid as a rock.”
Edward seemed older than his years, dressed formally, almost old-fashioned. But when he spoke, the world tilted. He was a brilliant conversationalistwitty, well-read, his jokes sharp but never cruel. Within an hour, Eleanor felt as though he saw straight through her.
“Eleanor, youre like a Pre-Raphaelite painting come to life,” he said as they parted, gazing at her face. “Just as untouchable and melancholy.”
She had to Google the Pre-Raphaelites, impressed by his knowledge of art. That was just the beginning. The architect was persistent, and Eleanor, exhausted by loneliness, surrendered almost immediately. Two months later, she moved in with him.
Her parents frowned.
“Darling, are you sure?” her mother pressed. “You dont look at him with love in your eyesyou look like a grateful kitten adopted by a good family.”
Eleanor brushed it off. What doubt could there be?
Six months later, they married. Edward crafted a perfect world for hershielding her from chores, worries, from any storm. He called her his Princess, himself her Faithful Knight. She thought men like him didnt exist anymore.
“Why should you cook?” hed say, chopping vegetables in the kitchen. “A womans role is to be happy, to inspire her husband. Rest.”
She revelled in his care, savouring her flawless role in their flawless play. Only when she brought up children, imagining what a devoted father hed be, did Edward gently stop her:
“Lets not rush happiness, Princess. Arent we happy just as we are?”
And so five years passed.
The cracks in their steady life appeared the day Eleanor collided with a man outside a business centre. She was late for an important presentation and crashed into someone firm and unyielding.
“Sorry!” she gasped, looking up.
Before her stood a young man who could have been an actorgolden-haired, with fathomless, laughing eyes.
“No harm done,” he grinned. “Disaster averted. Running somewhere?”
She nodded and dashed off, feeling his gaze on her back. Mid-presentation, she spotted him in the front row, watching her with that same smile. His stare made her breath hitch, her voice falter.
He waited for her by the coat check.
“You left so quickly, I thought you were late again. Need a lift? This time, no collisions.”
Always so prudent, so cautiousyet she surprised herself by saying yes.
***
Eleanor lost her head. She had forgotten how passion felthow the world could shrink to one person, the sound of his voice, his smile. How a simple “How was your day?” could feel like poetry.
“I feel awake when Im with you,” she told him once.
“And I feel like Im breathing properly for the first time in years,” he replied.
His name was Leo. Not “the boy”Leo. Strong, fearless. After months of stolen moments, she was ready to leave everything for him.
But then
First, her mother fell seriously ill. How could she burden her recovery with divorce news? They waited. Then Edward slipped, broke his leg, was in a cast for months. Of course, Eleanor delayed the painful conversation. Playing nurse gave her a lawful reprieve.
By the time Edward, still leaning on a cane, began hobbling again, her passion for Leo had cooled, replaced by cold logic. “Dont rush. Think. Edward is stability. Hes your home.” But her heart, battered and bruised, howled: “Leo!”
Meanwhile, Leo grew impatient, demanding more of her. One evening, as she primped before the mirrorclaiming a work meetinghe waited outside in his car.
Edward limped up behind her, resting a hand on her shoulder.
“You look beautiful tonight, Princess. Like you did on our first date.”
His voice brimmed with such boundless love and trust that something inside her snapped.
“Edward I need to tell you something,” she whispered, a shiver running down her spine.
“Something important?” He smiled gently. “Well talk tonight. Ill make your favourite roast. Dont be late.”
He kissed her forehead, the touch branding her skin.
Leo leaned against his car, arms crossed. The moment she slid into the passenger seat, he took her hand.
“Well? Did you tell him?”
“I couldnt. Hes still so weak, with the cane”
Leo loosened his grip.
“Pity. Duty. Gratitude.” Each word struck true. “But tell mehow much longer? When does our happiness get its turn? Or do I not matter?”
She closed her eyes, feeling her heart shatter.
“Just a little more time. Please.”
“Time,” he scoffed bitterly. “We never had any to begin with.”
They drove to a hotel in silence. Eleanor studied his profile, his clenched jaw, and knew she was losing him. And at home, Edward waitedblindly trusting, with a warm meal.
She was exhaustedtorn between duty and love, between lies and hiding. She had to choose. But why couldnt she? What was she afraid of?
At their next meeting, she begged Leo for one more month. He agreed too easily. Then, on Edwards birthday, a text arrived: “Last chance. Dont comeits over.”
An ultimatum. And what timingshe couldnt possibly leave Edward today.
He unwrapped her giftan expensive watchthen studied her carefully.
“Thank you, Princess. But I dont need this.”
“Why? You said you liked this model.”
“That was a long time ago Back when you looked at me the way you now look at your phone, waiting for a message. Who is he?”
Eleanor froze. He knew. For how long? Strangely, shame didnt comeonly relief. The mountain of lies had crumbled.
“I didnt want to hurt you, especially after your injury”
“Is that so? You lied for my sake?” Edward cut in, his voice uncharacteristically cold. “Then consider me unharmed. But us? Were done.”
She didnt go to Leo straight away.
Instead, she sat on a bench outside, smokingthough shed quit years ago. Her hands shook, but inside, there was an eerie calm. Everything had collapsed: Edwards perfect world, her role as the Princess, the fortress that had become a cage.
Now she was just Eleanor. Free from secrets. Alone, a little guilty, and terrifyingly lightlike a feather the wind could carry anywhere.
And that wind blew toward Leo.
She reread his message: “Last chance. Dont comeits over.” Once, those words would have set her pulse racing. Now, they barely pricked her.
Leo lived in a modern flat across town. The taxi ride was quiet, but her heart hammered in the lift. She imagined him opening the door, pulling her into his arms, his eyes alight with that same fire A new beginning.
The door swung open instantlyas if hed been waiting. But Leo didnt embrace her. He stepped back, silent, his face weary.
“I told him. Im free. Do you hear me?”
She waited for his joy, his relief. Instead, he turned to the window.
“Congratulations.”
His voice was flat. Distant.
“Well?” she pressed. “Arent you happy? We waited for this. Nothing stands in our way now.”
He shook his head slowly, all his old energy gone.
“We did wait. But I think I waited too long.”
A pause.
“You say nothing stands in our way. But Eleanor, your husband was never the obstacle. You were. Your doubts, your delays, your endless just a little longer. Ive been banging my head against your indecision for months. And now? Im empty.”
Her lightness dissolved into dread. This wasnt the script.
“But I did it! For us! I
