Behind my back
Oh, for heavens sake, stop playing the heroine and pretending youve got it all under control, said Olivia, setting a packet of nappies and a jar of baby porridge on the kitchen table. Ive seen your updates, your flawless posts. Youd think you knew the whole truth.
Emma didnt even glance at her sister. She stared at her phone, stonecold, as the next room filled with the protests of a twoyearold, Tommy, demanding attention. Emma stayed unmoved.
Tommy, Im coming! came a distant shout from the master bedroom, their mother hurrying to rock her grandson.
Olivia shrugged off her coat, draped it over the back of a chair and turned to Emma, her irritation too sharp to let her walk away.
Tell me straight. Do you really believe youre coping, that youre a great mum? Or are you just parroting the clichés from the parenting forums?
Emma sighed, paused for a heartbeat, but never met Olivias eyes.
Listen, I never asked you to buy anything.
Right. You never asked. As always, you sit hungry, covered in dirty nappy stains, while Mum pours soup and buys the next pack of diapers. Then you pretend youre a strong, independent woman again.
Silence fell. Even Tommys cries faded behind the walls. Only their mothers soft, comforting hum could be heard. Olivia closed her eyes for a moment.
Theyd both been worn thin over the past eighteen months.
Emma left Daniel when Tommy was barely six months old. She stormed out in a blaze of scandal, accusing him of not even being able to wash a plate or change a nappy. Daniel, her former, could only shrug. He juggled two jobs, came home late, so exhausted he sometimes fell asleep in his chair. Yet he tried: he washed bottles, hauled groceries, even sang lullabiesthough offkey.
Hes betrayed us, Emma had said then. He chose his work over us.
Olivia simply shrugged; everyone is free to decide for themselves.
Except when that everyone puts themselves on anothers neck and proudly refuses to pay maintenance. Emma now lived as if on holiday. Her father footed the bill, her mother cooked, and she proudly posted about inner strength and female independence.
Their mother entered the room, two grey crescents under her eyes.
Tommys finally asleep, thank God. Olivia, why are you picking on Emma again?
Me? Picking on her? Olivia was ready to laugh. The only thing you dont do for her is wipe her bottom, and she wont even notice. Shes happy with everything.
Im asking for nothing, mind you. No one owes anyone anything! Emma snapped.
Of course you owe nothing. You just sit here and use everyones comforts.
A memory flashed of two months earlier when their father once again delayed fitting a crown on his cracked tooth.
Itll be fine, hed said to their mother with a grin. We need to clothe Tommy; hes already outgrowing his tiny clothes.
He never complained. Never. Later the family would discover he missed his essential medication simply because there was no money to buy it. Olivia quietly transferred funds, hoping they would reach the pharmacy.
Emma sprang up, darting past Olivia as she always did, fleeing conversation.
Olivia dont be like that Emma
Whats wrong with Emma? Shes comfortable. Only her pride will ruin you. You know, Mum money troubles arent solved with puffedup words. Youve had a stroke, Dads heart is failing, and she pretends to be the heroine of a Hollywood melodrama: lonely, proud, misunderstood.
Their mother looked at her daughter with sorrowful eyes. Everyone understood, yet none could act.
Olivia lingered by the door, wanting to say something warm, something that would keep their mother from weeping after she left.
Goodbye, Mum. Check the firstaid kit and speak with Dad. Ill bring the tablets tomorrow, if they run out.
Ol thank you, her mother murmured, grateful.
Olivia left without looking back, knowing shed see tears later.
A week passed. Olivia visited less often. She bore no resentment; she simply didnt want to witness the households chaos. She came to hand over money, medicine, a toy for Tommy, and then slipped away. Emma received everything with a practiced indifference, as though it were the natural order.
One morning, while scrolling through contacts, Olivias eye caught a name almost forgotten: Kevin. He had once worked with Daniel. Hope prickled her heart. It felt like a sign.
Three days later they met in a modest café. Olivia fidgeted with a napkin. Daniel arrived seven minutes late, apologized, and sat opposite her. Hed lost a little weight; the gauntness made him look older rather than slimmer.
You see he began after listening to Olivias long tale. Im not abandoning my son. I tried to put things right. Even when I send money, she sends it back and makes a scene.
They wont last much longer, Olivia sighed. Dad halves his pills. Mum refused the sanatorium. And Emma she clings to stubborn principles. No ones to blame for that.
Daniel nodded, his demeanor suggesting he was ready to find a solution.
Heres my proposal. Ill transfer money to you, and youll allocate it. Send me receipts or photosthank you, no need for formalities. I just want Tommy to have a normal life, and your parents not to suffer because of this mess.
Olivia wasnt sure she was doing the right thing. It felt like betrayal, yet her sister was no saint.
Two days later the first transfer arrivedten thousand pounds. Olivia immediately passed the cash to her mother, who was surprised only by the amount, not the fact that her daughter had helped before.
A smaller sum followed for Dads medication, then another for Tommys boots.
Emma pretended not to notice, or at least acted as if she didnt.
One evening Olivia dropped by for a halfhour. Emma was in the bath, Tommy watched cartoons, and their mother was rolling dumplings at the kitchen table while Dad kneaded dough beside her.
Olivia, we bought Tommy a new coat with your money! her mother beamed. Youre such a dear, always helping. Its getting uncomfortable to keep taking perhaps well manage ourselves soon?
Olivia felt a sting. Shed heard unearned praise before, and each time it weighed on her conscience. Now an entire chain of aid threatened to snap.
Mum I need to tell you and Dad something. Its not me, its Daniel. Hes helping, she whispered.
Silence fell. Dad stopped rolling the dough. Mother froze, spoon in hand.
Daniel? she asked. Emma told us hed vanished off the radar.
Yes. He told me he was cutting off Emmas phone because she ignored him everywhere, Olivia sighed: Emma hadnt spilled everything. Anyway, truth always sits somewhere in the middle. The point is, hes helping.
Her parents took the news with a calm that surprised Olivia. They continued to accept the money without a hint of shame.
Then a new problem surfaced.
Oh, thank you, Daniel. Its a little easier now, her mother murmured to her father one night while they discussed next months budget.
Mother didnt realise Olivia was still awake, listening with keen ears.
What followed was a cascade.
So youve been taking my exs money behind my back?! Emma burst into the kitchen. Youre all traitors! Youve conspired together!
A fullblown interrogation ensued. Mother cracked under the pressure; eventually she broke down. Later Emma began phoning Olivia in the dead of night.
You thought you were clever, handling everything quietly? Youve humiliated me! My child doesnt need these handouts! she shrieked.
What are you on about, Emma? Olivia replied drowsily, yawning. Im just doing what you lack the strength and conscience for. Stop blaming the sick for the healthy.
Off with you! Emma roared. I dont need anyones help! Ill manage on my own!
The argument halted. Emma gathered her things, shoved Tommy into the pram, slammed the door, and fled into the night without saying where she was headed.
In her mind a halfyearold phrase from her friend Laura echoed: If anything, Im here, call me. At the time it had seemed a sweet sentiment; now it was the only thread she could cling to.
Laura didnt refuse. She welcomed Emma, kissed Tommy, set up a spare room, and even warmed a modest dinner for them. The first night passed quietly; Laura even enjoyed the company, as one guest is better than none. But by morning the small cracks appeared. Emma left dishes unwashed as usual, frowned at food that was too salty or too greasy.
The next day she rummaged out a sealed jar of instant coffee from the cupboard, never asking permission. It turned out to be a stash meant for gifts. That evening she pleaded for money.
Ive spent my last penny on nappies. Could you lend a bit? Please until I find work.
Laura forced a tight smile and said shed look into it. Later, as Tommy finally slept, Laura approached Emma.
Listen Ive got a situation. Arthur is coming from Kent. You remember him, right? Wed arranged this ages ago. Hell be staying for a while.
You want me to leave? Emma asked, bewildered.
Not exactly It just happened. Maybe you know someone else you could stay with?
Right, Emma nodded, a knot tightening inside. Of course. Ill manage.
At dawn Emma packed in silence, barely holding back tears. Laura moved about the kitchen, keeping her distance. Emma dressed Tommy, slipped into shoes, shuffled awkwardly down the hallway, unsure what to say. Then she slipped out, never turning back.
Standing on the landing, she felt a void she hadnt felt in yearsempty, shameful, frightening. Options swirled like knives to the heart. Returning to her parents? No. Let them rot with their pills and sanatorium talks. With Laura things were clear.
And then she remembered Daniel. Hed been desperate to patch things up, though shed ignored him. Of all who could aid her, only he remained, so she dialed his number.
Hello?
Its me Emma. Tommy and I could we stay with you for a few days?
A surprised pause.
Of course, Daniels voice was cautious but warm.
That was the end of the call and the start of a tentative, uneasy life together, built on fragile trust.
Olivia was the first to learn of their reunion. Her parents tried calling Emma, but she didnt answer. After three days they gave up; on the fourth, Olivia finally got through.
Hello?
Yes, Emma replied in a faint, deflated tone.
Where are you? Whats happened?
Were at Daniels. Ill call back later.
Daniels? Is Tommy alright?
Yes, were fine.
Olivia raised an eyebrow, surprised. A small smile tugged at her lips; better this than watching Emma cling to her parents neck. All she could do now was hope that the stubborn pride that had driven Emma toward Daniel wouldnt once again tear everything apart.
