**Brothers Birthday Invitation Sparks Wife Drama**
My brother Oliver got married six years ago. Since then, neither I nor our parents have set foot in their home. Every holiday, birthday, or family gathering inevitably happens at our parents placea spacious house just outside Manchester. Mum cooks mountains of food, sets the table, and still sends Oliver and his wife, Gemma, home with Tupperware stuffed full of homemade meatballs and salads.
When Oliver married, Gemmas birthday rolled around a few months later. Mum, ever the enthusiast, decided to surprise her: we bought a cake, picked out a lovely gift, and prepared to pop over. Mum rang Gemma to give her a heads-up, but she coldly replied she wasnt planning to celebrate. Mum, stubborn as ever, insisted:
*”Well just drop in for a cuppa and cake! You dont have to lift a finger, love!”*
We went anyway. Instead of a warm welcome, we got a shocker: Gemma stepped outside, muttering about the house *”being a mess,”* and refused to let us in. Stunned, we handed over the cake and present right there on the doorstep and left. Ever since, all family dos happen at Mums, and weve silently agreed to never mention that awkward moment again.
Once, Gemma outright told my parents:
*”Youve got a big houseplenty of room for everyone! Were in a one-bed flat; where are we supposed to host people?”*
I nearly bit my tongue off. Since when cant you host your in-laws and sister-in-law in a small flat? Its not a raveits three people! But we bit our lips to keep the peace.
Now, Gemmas five months pregnantmy parents first grandchildand Mums in a tizzy. Shes constantly ringing Oliver to check if Gemmas okay, if she needs anything. But we recently found out Gemma quit her job early in the pregnancy. Mum panicked:
*”Is she unwell? Does she need my help?”*
Oliver reassured her: Gemmas fine, just *”taking it easy.”* We were baffled. Oliver and Gemma have always lived beyond their meansfancy dinners out, holidays, designer clothes. No mortgagethe flat was left to her by her granso they spent every penny on luxuries. But without her salary, moneys tight, and their lavish lifestyles on thin ice. Oliver tried explaining they needed to budget, but Gemma seems allergic to cutting back.
She confessed she quit her job over fears of *”catching something at work.”* Fair enough, but now their finances are stretched, and she still expects the same splurges. And in the middle of this, Olivers invited us all to celebrate his birthday at theirs! Mum and Dad were gobsmacked. Dad even joked:
*”Finally, well find out if my daughter-in-law can boil an egg!”*
Mum was thrilled, buzzing for a proper family evening. I rang Gemma to confirm details, but instead of a chat, I got hysterical sobbing. Gemma, in floods, said she didnt want us there:
*”Ill have to clean, cook! Im pregnantits too much!”*
I tried calming her:
*”Gemma, keep it simple. Boil some potatoes, toss a salad, shove a chicken in the ovendone. Well bring the cake. Its just five people. Whats the issue?”*
I even suggested getting a takeaway to make it easier, but she kept moaning about scrubbing floors and tidying up. I lost patience:
*”Gemma, its a one-bed flat! How hard is it to clean? Do you only mop when guests come over?”*
In the end, I gave her an ultimatum:
*”If you dont want us there, we wont come. Well ring Oliver with birthday wishes, and thats that.”*
Mum agreed when I told her. But when Oliver found out, he blew up:
*”Gemma doesnt workshes home all day! Cant she manage one dinner and a bit of cleaning? Youre coming, full stop! We cant afford takeaways or a cleaner, so shell have to cope!”*
His words hung in the air like a storm cloud. Now were all cross. The excitement for the partys vanished. The thought of Gemmas sulking face, sighing and eye-rolling, killed any enthusiasm. Who wants to feel unwelcome in their own brothers home?
But it stings knowing we might hurt Oliver. Hes so chuffed, desperate to host us all! How can we just not show up? Its his day, and hes not the one being difficult. Were torn: swallow our pride and risk a tense evening, or bail and break his heart. The whole things a mess, and every move makes it worse. What do you do when love for your brother clashes with loathing his wife? No idea. But the birthdays looming, and weve got to decide.
