After chatting with some large families, I realised why they often rub people the wrong way.
“Im a mother of threepeople should understand my situation!”
“Madam, no one forced you to have so many children! Let go of my jumper!”
Erica had always believed the world owed her something. Shed been like this since university, long before she started a family. But the moment she had her first child, she completely lost the plot.
One. Two. Three. The official status of a large family was secured, and off she went.
At first, Daisy thought Erica was suffering from what some might call “baby brain.” Or whatever its called when you lose all sense of perspective after having kidswhen you expect everyone around you to bow and scrape in deference.
“Can you believe it? I was queuing with the kids, and no one let me skip the line!” Erica would rant whenever they met.
“Then again, theyre not obliged to,” Daisy pointed out. “Some people are tired from work and just want to get home. Others have their own lives.”
Erica cut her off mid-sentence, as usual.
“Oh, please! They can wait. Whats so exhausting about their lives when they dont even have children?”
“Who says only parents get tired?”
“Because Ive got three, so I know what Im talking about! But you wouldnt understandyouve never even had a baby.”
Erica was a real piece of work. She believed every womans duty was to have at least one childpreferably several. Those who disagreed drove her mad.
Daisy, on the other hand, had never wanted children. Naturally, Erica couldnt fathom it.
Convincing someone like that was impossible. Daisy wanted to live for herselftravel, build her career, learn new things. Her husband fully supported her, but Erica saw it as her mission to “fix” her misguided friend.
“Once you have kids, youll be so much happier!”
“You dont understand because youre not a mother!”
“Whos going to look after you in your old age without children?”
Arguing was pointless, and Daisy refused to waste her breath.
Years later, when Ericas children were older, Daisy visited her. They talked for hoursit was obvious Erica was starved for conversation. Shed stopped growing as a person, drowning in nappies and tantrums. Daisys husband often wondered what they could possibly discuss, but somehow, they found common ground.
“Erica, what do you want from life? I mean, once the kids are grownwhat then?”
“What do you mean? Ill help them. Before I know it, therell be grandchildren.”
Daisy was taken aback but pressed on.
“And what about you? Dont you want anything for yourself?”
“Why? My children are my life. Everythings for them. Oh, did you know were eligible for more benefits?”
Of course, Erica steered the conversation back to her favourite topic. She always did when faced with uncomfortable questions.
Eventually, Daisy grew embarrassed to be seen with her. Especially after one incident.
They were shopping, and Erica had dragged her kids along. Shed spotted a sale and wanted a new jumper. Daisy wandered off but hurried back when she heard shoutingEricas voice, unmistakable.
To her horror, Erica was wrestling over a jumper with a stranger.
“Im a mother of threeyou should be more considerate!”
“Madam, I didnt make you have children! Let go of my jumper!”
Daisy rushed over. “Erica, stop this! Everyones staring. Think of your kids!”
She glanced apologetically at the womana colleague, who recognised her instantly.
“Wow, Daisy. Never took you for the type to keep such company.”
That was the moment Daisy realised Ericas behaviour reflected on her, too. As the saying goes, “You are the company you keep.” And Ericas antics were nothing new.
After that, Daisy began distancing herself. She didnt have the heart to cut ties outrightthered been no real fight. But she couldnt endure Ericas entitlement anymore. Excuses about work kept their meetings rare.
Then, predictably, Erica picked a fight. Bored without drama, she turned up at Daisys one evening, fuming over nothing.
“Youve got some explaining to do!”
“About what?”
Daisy braced for accusations of neglect, but the reason blindsided her.
“I saw your sister yesterdaywith her daughter in that designer snowsuit. The one I saw at your place.”
“And?”
“You shouldve given it to us, not her!”
Daisy felt the ground vanish beneath her. Erica genuinely believed she had the right to dictate who Daisy gifted things to?
“Erica, dont you think youre overstepping? Maybe Ill decide who gets what.”
“How? Your sister has one childshe can afford nice things. Ive got three! I needed it more!”
What Erica needed more than designer clothes was a reality check. But reasoning with her was futile. She screeched until Daisy showed her the door, then continued her tantrum in the hallway. Daisy even had to apologise to the neighbours in the group chat.
Erica, of course, never apologised to anyone. According to mutual friends, she only got worse.
Ten years passed.
The ex-friends hadnt spoken since. Daisy and her husband had moved abroad, visiting only occasionally.
One day, walking through the park where theyd once strolled together, Daisy spotted Erica.
“What a surprise! Never thought Id see you again. Still off globetrotting?”
“Just visiting family. How are you? How are the kids?”
Erica gestured to the pramshed just had her fourth.
“Congratulations! Im happy for you.”
“Thanks. Shame I cant say the same for you. Still childless at 38?”
Daisy ignored the jab. She looked polished; Erica, tired and frayed.
“Weve built a business abroadeverythings going exactly as we planned.”
“But youre still not parents,” Erica snapped.
“Different goals, I suppose.”
Erica would never grasp that not everyone found meaning in parenthoodor that having kids didnt entitle her to the worlds servitude.
Her eyes locked onto Daisys handbag.
“Ooh, lovely bag! Whered you get it?”
“I bought it.”
“Hmph. Wish I could treat myself to one.”
“Whys that?” Daisy asked, though she knew what was coming.
“Youre rolling in itone bag wont break you. Im a motherI deserve to look nice too!”
“Go earn it, then.”
“How? Im on maternity leave! But you wouldnt get ityouve never even had one baby!”
Ericas shrieks followed Daisy down the path.
The lesson? No one owes you anything for your life choices. Children are a blessingif you can afford them. But entitlement only breeds resentment.
Daisy had built the life she wanted. Erica? Shed built a life of demandsand wondered why the world didnt bow down.
