Ive changed my mind about marrying you. My exboyfriend put a ring on it hes got more prospects, declared the bride on her wedding day.
Kevin, we need to talk, Eleanor stood in the doorway of the grooms suite, radiant in her wedding dress but with a strange, resolute expression on her face.
Kevin raised his eyebrows in surprise. He had just finished knotting his bow tie and was about to step out. There were only thirty minutes left until the ceremony.
Eleanor, whats this? A bride isnt supposed to see the groom before the wedding, he chuckled. Bad luck, you know.
What luck now she stepped forward, shutting the door firmly behind her. The eyes that usually gazed at him lovingly now held something cold and alien. I have something to tell you.
A hollow feeling rose in Kevins chest. Hed known Eleanor for four years and could read every inflection, every glance. Hed never seen that tone before.
Whats happened? he asked, even though his gut was already shouting that it wouldnt be good news.
Eleanor inhaled deeply, as if preparing to dive into icecold water.
Ive changed my mind about marrying you, she said evenly. My exboyfriend proposed again. Hes got a brighter future.
Kevin stared at her, stunned, unable to process the words. Outside the hotel where theyd booked rooms for the wedding prep, June sunlight bathed the London street. Down below, guests were gathering, bridesmaids were giggling, music floated from the ballroom. In that little room, Kevins world collapsed.
Youre joking? he finally managed.
No. Im sorry, she lowered her eyes. I know this is awful timing, but its better now than to drag on forever.
Drag on? Kevin felt a flush of anger rise. You were going to drag on with me? All those four years were what? Waiting for something better?
Eleanor winced as if shed just had a tooth pulled.
Dont simplify it. Things were good with you, really. But Oliver hes always been special to me. You knew that from the start.
Kevin knew. When theyd first met at a mutual friends birthday, Eleanor had just split from Oliver Hartwell a successful restaurateur who owned a chain of eateries. Their twoyear romance had ended abruptly when Oliver flew to New York to expand his business, leaving Eleanor heartbroken.
Kevin had patiently gathered the shards of her heart, month by month. He never pressed, never rushed. He simply stood by reliable, understanding, caring. And one day Eleanor seemed to return the feeling. At least, thats how it appeared to him.
Did he come back? Kevin asked, trying to steady himself. When?
A month ago, Eleanor whispered. He called when you were on a work trip to Manchester.
And you decided just like that? In a month?
It wasnt simple, she lifted her gaze, determination flashing. I fought with myself, honestly. But when he proposed Kevin, you have to understand. Hes launching a restaurant group across Europe. Ill have my own line of cosmetics. Its a completely different life!
Kevin stared at the woman hed just this morning called the love of his life beautiful, smart, ambitious Eleanor. Shed been a manager at a beauty salon, dreaming of opening her own shop. Hed supported those dreams, even though he was just a modest engineer earning a decent but unremarkable salary.
What about our plans? he asked. The house we talked about? Kids?
Ill have other plans, she stepped back toward the door. I must go. Olivers waiting downstairs.
Downstairs? Here? On our wedding day? Kevin could barely believe his ears.
I asked him to come, Eleanor was already gripping the handle. I didnt want to be alone after this conversation.
What about the guests? My mother travelled from Brighton to be here
Ill explain to everyone, she interrupted. Ill say its my fault, that it was a sudden decision.
Its sudden, indeed! Kevin raised his voice. Yesterday you swore you loved me! This morning you kissed me and promised happiness!
I was wrong, Eleanor lowered her eyes. Im sorry it turned out like this.
And she left, quietly closing the door behind her.
Kevin stood in the middle of the empty suite, stunned, crushed, bewildered. The clock on the wall read fifteen minutes to the ceremony. Somewhere below, guests were waiting, music was humming, everything was set for a celebration that would now never happen.
He slipped onto the bed, loosening his bow tie. Fragments of thoughts whirled in his head. Why? How could she? What now? How could he face all those people?
The door opened again this time without a knock. Ian, his best man and longtime mate, stepped in.
Kevin, whats going on? Ian looked flustered. Eleanor just walked out of the hall in her dress, in tears, with some bloke. They got into a black Mercedes and left. What the?
Shes not marrying me, Kevin said dryly. Her ex turned up, more promising, you see.
Ian opened his mouth, shut it, opened it again.
Bloody hell on the wedding day? Seriously?
More than seriously, Kevin stood, pacing. We need to tell the guests. Cancel everything.
Ill help, Ian placed a hand on his shoulder. How are you holding up?
Honestly? I feel like Im in a nightmare.
Going to the reception hall was the hardest thing hed ever done announcing that there would be no wedding, fielding sympathetic looks, whispered comments, endless questions. Eleanors parents looked just as shocked as he did; clearly she hadnt given them a headsup. His own mother, who had driven down from Surrey, was sobbing, repeating, Oh, my son, why?
When everyone finally left and the paidfor banquet sat untouched, Kevin sat alone in the suite, phone buzzing with calls and messages from friends, colleagues, relatives He answered none.
Here, Ian handed him a glass of whisky. Drink. Itll help.
Kevin took a sip; the burn in his throat offered no relief.
You know what the worst part is? he said after a long pause. I always felt she wasnt wholly mine, that somewhere deep down she still held Olivers image. I thought time would erase it.
That happens, Ian replied, sitting opposite him. First loves, all that. But ditching you on the wedding day thats a different league.
She always loved grand gestures, Kevin said bitterly, a wry smile curling his lips. Remember how we met?
At Sophies birthday, Ian nodded. She was in a black dress, looking mournful about her ex.
And I walked up and said?
Perhaps black isnt your colour? Ian finished, chuckling. I even gave her that ridiculous daisy from a pot.
And she finally smiled that evening, Kevin recalled, closing his eyes. She said she felt life was moving again.
And now shes left you for the very bloke she was mourning, Ian shook his head. Lifes a proper joker.
That night Kevin lay awake, replaying the last four years happy moments, arguments, reconciliations, future plans. Was it all a lie? Or had she truly loved him until Oliver resurfaced?
In the morning he returned to the flat theyd shared to pack his things. Opening the door, he felt the emptiness straight away. Eleanor had already cleared out the little trinkets from the shelves, the photos in frames, the cosmetics from the bathroom.
On the kitchen table lay an envelope. Inside was a note and the key to the flat.
Kevin, sorry for everything. Youre a good man and deserve happiness. I have to go my own way. Ill collect my things later. E
Brief. Dry. No explanations, no regrets. As if four years could be crossed out with a single slip of paper.
Kevin sank onto the sofa where theyd spent countless evenings watching films and plotting futures. It was the same sofa theyd argued over in the shop she wanted beige, practical; he wanted a bold blue. A blue sofa is too bachelorlike, shed said. Were a family, arent we?
Family the word now felt like a brand of tea, warm but scalding.
He packed his belongings and moved in with Ian, who offered a spare room until things settled. He took a few days off work his manager, aware of the drama, was surprisingly supportive. Kevin fell into a strange numbness that friends and family struggled to pull him out of.
A week later, his old university friend Sophie called.
Kevin, can we meet? I need to talk, she said, her voice tense.
They met at a tiny café near Ians flat. Sophie looked both embarrassed and determined.
Ive known Eleanor since university, she began after the pleasantries. I hate to stick my nose in, but you should know something.
What about her and Oliver? Kevin asked with a wry grin. Thanks, but I dont need more gossip.
Its not about them. Its about you, Sophie pressed. I overheard a conversation between Eleanor and Oliver before the wedding. They were talking about you.
And what did they say? Kevins curiosity edged out his irritation.
Oliver asked why shed ever agree to marry you. She answered, Youre reliable, safe, predictable. With you its peaceful, but boring.
Kevin felt something tighten inside. Boring. The word hit harder than any punch.
Sophie, continue, he said, dry.
Oliver then said, Hes just a simple engineer. Whats there to love? And Eleanor replied, He loves me truly, cares for me, feels like a solid wall. Oliver laughed and said, A walls great, but living inside it feels like being sealed in.
Kevin stared at his coffee, its steam curling like the thoughts in his head. Hed been the safe, predictable partner. Hed compromised his own desires, let her steer his life, even gave up trips with mates because she feared for him. Hed become a shadow of himself.
Why tell me this now? he asked.
Because it isnt true, Sophie looked him straight in the eye. Youre not boring. Youre thoughtful, you have a wicked sense of humour. With Eleanor you just dimmed a little. You became a background character, afraid to make a bold move, afraid to upset her.
He remembered all the times hed let her dictate the schedule, cancelled a hiking weekend, avoided meeting friends she disliked.
Why didnt you say this earlier? he asked quietly.
Would you have listened? Sophie sighed. You put her on a pedestal, Kevin. She was your goddess. Now youre hearing it because shes moved on.
Are you saying youre sorry for me? he asked.
No, she answered, steady. Im saying the fault lies with her endless chase for something flashier, brighter. Oliver is a fireworks display loud, spectacular, but it fizzes out quickly.
After that conversation Kevin felt a jolt of clarity. He got back to work, found a new flat, started jogging each morning a habit hed abandoned because Eleanor disliked early runs. The ache dulled over weeks, though occasional pangs still visited him at night.
Three months later, he spotted her in a department store window, eyeing engagement rings. She looked just as polished, confident, radiant.
Hello, he said, walking over.
Eleanor startled, turned, a swirl of emotions flashing across her face surprise, embarrassment, something else hard to read.
Kevin hi, she forced a smile. How are you?
Better than three months ago, he replied honestly. And youre still shopping for rings?
She blushed, looked away. Yes, Oliver and I are getting married next month.
Congratulations, he said, surprised at how sincere his voice sounded. Hope it actually happens this time.
Kevin, she hesitated, I know youre hurt. Im really sorry
No need, he raised a hand, stopping her. Everythings been said. I just wanted to thank you.
For what? she asked, genuinely puzzled.
For walking away, he answered simply. If you hadnt, Id still be living someone elses life, losing myself.
She frowned.
Its not something you need to understand, he smiled. Goodbye, Eleanor. Be happy.
He walked away feeling an odd lightness, as if a heavy backpack had been dropped.
Later that day his phone buzzed. The caller ID read Eleanor.
Yes? Kevin answered, his tone more curious than angry.
Can we talk? her voice was uncharacteristically tentative.
We already talked, he reminded her.
No, seriously. I cant stop thinking about what you said about living someone elses life, losing myself.
Whats there to think about? he shrugged, though she could not see him. I meant exactly that.
Were you unhappy with me? she asked, a hint of hurt in her tone.
No, he answered honestly. I was happy, but it was happiness built on conceding parts of myself my wishes, my interests, my principles. Id been shaping myself to fit your expectations, shrinking, quieter, more convenient.
Silence stretched. Then she whispered, Did I lose myself too, with you?
I dont think so, he said with a grin. You always knew what you wanted and went after it.
Again silence. Then:
Kevin, maybe I made a mistake. Maybe I shouldnt have
Stop, he cut in. Dont. You made the choice you thought was right, and I accepted it. Theres no road back.
Why? her voice trembled. If we both erred
Because Im done being the backup plan. I dont want to be the safety net you turn to when youre hunting something brighter, more prosperous.
Youve changed, she observed after a pause.
Yes, he agreed. And thats probably the only positive outcome of all this. Thanks for the call, Eleanor, but please, dont call again.
He hung up, inhaled deeply. A strange mix of sadness and relief settled in. One chapter closed; another lay ahead, ready for him to write it himself.
Six months later, on a crisp December morning, Kevin stood on a viewing platform at a ski resort in the Lake District. Hed finally fulfilled his longstanding dream of learning to ski. The sun glittered on the snowcovered slope, and he felt pure happiness.
Beautiful, isnt it? a voice called from beside him.
He turned to see a woman in a bright blue ski jacket, brown eyes sparkling with golden flecks.
Very, Kevin replied, smiling. First time here?
Third, she slipped off a glove and held out her hand. Anna.
Kevin, he shook it. So youre a pro?
More like a stubborn hobbyist, she laughed. I fall a lot but always get back up. And you?
Just a beginner, living a longdeferred dream, he said, eyeing the bustling slope. You know, there are things you keep putting off, thinking maybe later. Then you realise, if not now, maybe never.
Philosopher, she said, tilting her head. I like people who think about life.
And I like people who can tumble and rise again, he replied. Care to tackle this slope together? I promise a graceful tumble.
Deal, Anna giggled, and her laughter echoed through the mountains. First one to the café at the bottom buys the mulled wine!
She shot down the hill, Kevin followed, feeling his heart fill with unfiltered joy. For the first time in ages he was wholly himself, and it was worth every loss and heartbreak that had led him here.
Sometimes you have to lose something precious to rediscover the priceless yourself.
