I never loved my wife, and I told her so many times. It wasnt her faultwe lived quite comfortably. She never made a scene, never reproached me for anything; she was always kind and affectionate. But the problem remained: there was no love.
Every morning, I woke up wanting to leave. I dreamed of finding a woman I could truly love. But I never imagined how fate would take such an unexpected turn.
With Emily, I felt at ease. Not only did she keep the house perfectly, but she was also stunning. My friends envied me and couldnt understand how Id been so lucky with my wife.
I didnt even understand what Id done to deserve her love. Im an ordinary man, nothing special to set me apart. And yet, she loved me How was that possible?
Her love and devotion haunted me. What tormented me most was the thought that if I left, someone else would take my placesomeone richer, more attractive, more successful.
The idea of her with another man drove me mad. She was mine, even if Id never loved her. That sense of possession was stronger than reason. But can you spend your whole life with someone you dont love? I thought I could, but I was wrong.
*Ill tell her everything tomorrow*, I decided as I went to bed. In the morning, over breakfast, I gathered my courage.
“Emily, sit down. We need to talk.”
“Of course, Im listening, darling.”
“Imagine we get divorced. I leave, and we live separately”
Emily laughed.
“What a strange thought. Is this a game?”
“Hear me outthis is serious.”
“Fine, Ill imagine it. What then?”
“Answer honestlywould you find someone else if I left?”
“James, whats gotten into you? Why are you thinking of leaving?”
“Because I dont love you. I never have.”
“What? Are you joking? I dont understand.”
“I want to go, but I cant. The thought of you with someone else wont leave me alone.”
Emily thought for a moment, then replied calmly,
“I wont find anyone better than you, so dont worry. GoI wont be with anyone else.”
“You promise?”
“Of course,” Emily assured me.
“Wait but where would I even go?”
“You dont have anywhere?”
“No. Weve been together our whole lives. Id probably have to stay close to you,” I said gloomily.
“Dont worry,” Emily answered. “After the divorce, well trade the flat for two smaller ones.”
“Really? I didnt expect you to help me like this. Why would you?”
“Because I love you. When you love someone, you cant keep them against their will.”
A few months passed, and we divorced. Soon after, I learned Emily hadnt kept her promise. She found another man, and the flats she inherited from her grandmothershed never intended to share them. I was left with nothing.
How can I trust women now? Ive no idea.
What do you think of Jamess behaviour?
