After chatting with mothers of large families, I realised why people dislike them.
*”Im a mother of threeyou should understand me!”*
*”Madam, no one forced you to have that many! Let go of my jumper!”*
Erica had always believed the world owed her something. Shed been like that since university, long before shed started a family. But the moment she had children, she completely lost the plot.
One. Two. Three. They got the status of a large family, and off she went.
At first, Daisy thought Erica had lost her mind to maternity leaveor whatever they called it when you had kids and lost all perspective. Suddenly, everyone around you was supposed to bow and scrape.
*”Can you believe it? Im standing in a queue with my kids, and no one lets me skip ahead!”* Erica fumed during one of their catch-ups.
*”Well, theyre not obliged to. Some people are tired from work, others have their own things to do”*
Erica cut her off mid-sentence.
*”Oh, please! They can wait. What have they got to be tired about if they dont have kids?”*
*”Why do you assume only parents get tired?”*
*”Because Ive got three, so I know what Im talking about! But you wouldnt understandyouve never even had one!”*
Erica was a piece of work. She believed every womans duty was to have at least one childpreferably several. Those who thought differently drove her mad.
Daisy, on the other hand, had always known she didnt want children. Naturally, her friend didnt get it.
It was impossible to make Erica see her point. Daisy wanted to live for herselftravel, build a career, learn new things.
Her husband supported her completely and felt the same way. But Erica saw it as her mission to *correct* her misguided friend.
*”Once you have kids, youll be happier!”*
*”You dont understand because you dont have any!”*
*”Whos going to look after you when youre old?”*
Arguing was pointless, and Daisy couldnt be bothered.
When Ericas children were older, Daisy visited her one day. They talked for hoursit was obvious Erica was starved for conversation. Shed stopped developing herself, drowning in nappies and routines. Daisys husband often wondered what on earth the two of them even talked about.
But somehow, they still found common ground.
*”Erica, what do you want from life? Once your kids are grownwhat then?”*
*”What do you mean? Ill help them. Before I know it, therell be grandchildren!”*
Daisy was stunned but pressed on.
*”Dont you ever want to live for yourself?”*
*”Why would I? My children are everything. Oh, by the way, I just found out we qualify for more benefits”*
Of course, Erica steered the conversation back to her favourite topic. She always did when faced with questions she didnt like.
She got her way every time, never seeing how unreasonable she was.
Eventually, Daisy felt embarrassed to be seen with her in publicespecially after one incident.
They went shopping one day, and Erica brought the kids along. She wanted a new jumperthere was a sale on.
Daisy spotted something she liked and wandered off, only to hurry back when she heard shoutingfamiliar voices.
To her horror, Erica was arguing with a strangerDaisys colleague, though the two didnt know each otherover a jumper.
*”Im a mother of threeyou should understand me!”*
*”Madam, no one forced you to have that many! Let go of my jumper!”*
Daisy rushed over.
*”Erica, stop this! Everyones staring. Have some shame!”*
Her colleague recognised her.
*”Well, Daisy Never thought youd have friends like this.”*
That was the moment Daisy realised Erica wasnt just embarrassing herselfshe was dragging her down too.
*”You can judge a man by his friends,”* as the saying goes. And this wasnt the first time Erica had pulled something like this.
After that, Daisy distanced herself. She didnt have the heart for a dramatic breakupthere was no fight, after all.
But she couldnt take Ericas insufferable attitude anymore. She started making excuseswork was too busy, no time to meet.
Then Erica gave her an out. She clearly missed the drama.
One evening, she turned up at Daisys door, launching into complaints out of nowhere.
*”Dont you think you owe me an explanation?”*
*”What are you talking about?”*
Daisy assumed it was about avoiding her. But the reason was unexpected.
*”I saw your sister yesterdaywith her kid.”*
*”And?”*
*”The little girl was wearing a designer snowsuit. The exact one I saw at your place.”*
*”Whats your point?”*
*”That shouldve gone to *us*, not your sister!”*
Daisy was speechless. Erica genuinely believed she had the right to dictate who Daisy gave gifts to?
*”Erica, do you hear yourself? Ill decide who gets what!”*
*”Your sister has *one* childshe can afford nice things! Ive got three! I *needed* it more!”*
What Erica needed wasnt designer clothesit was a reality check.
She kept shouting, demanding, talking like the world owed her. Only this time, it wasnt in a queue or a shopit was in Daisys home.
Daisy kicked her out. Erica screamed in the hallway for ages, forcing Daisy to apologise to the neighbours in the buildings group chat.
Erica, of course, never apologised to anyone.
Ten years passed.
They hadnt spoken since. Daisy and her husband moved abroad, visiting only occasionally to see family.
One day, walking through the park where they used to meet, Daisy spotted her.
*”What a surprise! Never thought Id see you again. Still living abroad?”*
*”Just visiting for the week. How are you? How are the kids?”*
Erica glanced at the pram beside her. *Fourth child.*
*”Congratulations!”* Daisy said.
*”Thanks. Though I suppose theres not much to congratulate *you* on. Still no kids at 38?”*
She gave Daisy a once-over. Daisy was stylish; Erica looked worn out.
*”Actually, weve got a thriving business overseas. Everythings going exactly as we planned.”*
*”Still childless, though.”*
*”We just have different priorities.”*
Erica would never understand that motherhood wasnt everyones purposeor that having kids didnt entitle her to special treatment.
If anything, shed only gotten worse.
*”Ooh, nice handbag! Whered you get it?”*
*”I bought it.”*
*”Hmm Id love one like that.”*
*”Why?”*
The audacity was unbelievable.
*”Youve got money to spareone bag wont hurt. Im a motherI *deserve* nice things!”*
*”Go earn it yourself!”*
*”How? Im on maternity leave! Oh, rightyou wouldnt get it. Youve never even had *one*!”*
Erica kept screeching as Daisy walked away.
Shed never grasp the simple truthno one owed her anything.
Having kids was *her* choice. If she couldnt afford them, maybe she shouldve thought sooner.
These days, it seemed the trend washave kids first, *then* figure out how to afford them. And demand handouts while youre at it. Even from people who owed you nothing.
But then, Daisy could never compete with Erica. They just had entirely different views on life.
