**Diary Entry 12th April**
I invited my elderly mother to live with me, and now I regret it. Theres no sending her back. Im ashamed in front of my mates.
Tonight, I need to put this downsomething so personal, so heavy, it weighs on my chest like a stone. I need wise advice, something thoughtful, to help me untangle this mess Ive landed myself in.
We all have our struggles, our burdens. We ought to learn not to judge but to lend a hand when someones drowning in despair, seeing no way out. Truth is, none of us are safe from lifes trapstoday youre the critic, tomorrow youre the one caught in fates snare.
I took Mum in. Shes 80, used to live in a village near York, in an old cottage with a sagging roof. She couldnt manage alone anymoreher health failing, her legs giving way, hands shaking. Seeing her waste away, I brought her to my flat in Manchester. I didnt realise the burden Id taken on, or how it would upend my life.
At first, it was smooth sailing. Mum settled into my three-bed flat, kept to herself, stayed out of my way. Id set up her room with carea soft bed, a warm blanket, a telly on the dresser. She only left for the loo or the kitchen. I cooked what the doctors recommendedno grease, little salt, everything steamed. Her meds werent cheap, but I paid for them from my wages. Her pension? Barely enough to cover a cuppa.
Then, after a few months, things soured. City life wore on hergrey, dull as the concrete outside. She started making rules, picking fights over dust left too long, soup too salty, or forgetting her favourite biscuits. Nothing was right. Then came the guilt tripsdramatic sighs, saying shed been happier in her village than in my prison. Her words cut deep, but I bit my tongue, refusing to rise to it.
Now, Im at my limit. The constant nagging, the shoutingIm worn thin. Some days, I stand outside the door after work, dreading going in. Its not a home anymore; its a battleground, and I lose every day. Its a nightmare with no escape.
Send her back to the village? Impossible. The cottage is crumbling, no heating, no comforts. And how could I? The neighbours stares, the whispers”A son turning his own mother out What a disgrace. It shames me just thinking of it. But I cant take much more.
Its a knot I cant undo. Im exhausted, drained. How do I live with her? How do I face her stubbornness, that wall of blame? How do I keep my sanity? Im trapped, sinking deeper every day.
Have you been through this? Howd you manage living with someone who grinds you down like sandpaper on patience? How do you not lose yourself when the person you love becomes your hardest test? Tell meI need some light in this dark tunnel.
**Lesson today:** Sometimes kindness costs more than you ever bargained for.
