Alice, Im lost, I dont know how this happened, Kevin pleaded, eyes wide. Please forgive me, I beg you! I swear Ill never speak to her again. Ill quit my job if you want. Shall we leave? Just dont abandon me
***
September greeted Alice with a cool, lingering sun. Yellow leaves whirled beneath her boots, the air smelled of damp earth and the promise of autumn. She hurriedly packed suitcases. Ahead lay a long journey north to the Scottish Highlands, where her mother lay ill, suddenly struck by a mysterious sickness.
At first it seemed a simple cold, but a dread settled deep in Alices chest, growing each day. The shocking diagnosis the doctors delivered hit her like an icy shower. Kevin stayed at home; he could not accompany her. Alice had to make the only sensible choice: take her son, Jack, and fly straight to her mother. Thus began their grueling, exhausting battle against precious time
The first three months blurred into endless doctor visits, endless tests, frantic searches for a competent physician. Whenever a free window appeared, Alice returned home, only to feel that something had shifted. The house was still tidy, the fireplace still warm, Kevin still trying to keep the routine, but Alices thoughts seemed rooted far away in the Highlands. The home wasnt abandonedKevin did his best to preserve the familiar comfort, yet Alices focus stayed elsewhere.
Just as her mother steadied, the bags were packed again. Jack, weary from flights and hospital corridors but obedient, rode with her. Another round of planes, doctors, and a flickering hope that sparked then faded. By March there was a slight reprieve: her mother improved a little, and Alice allowed herself a brief pause, returning home for a couple of weeks.
During that short lull, truthlike a stubborn weedburst into the light. Jack complained that his phone had slipped into the bath. Alice recalled a tip from a womens magazine: submerge the device in a bowl of rice.
***
Alice retrieved the smartphone, switched it on. The screen lit up, a new message blinking. Kevin lay dozing on the sofa.
Jack, look, your phone works, Alice said, handing him the device. He lazily scrolled, then froze.
Whats this? Alice leaned closer, noticing his stiff posture Im falling in love with you more and more. What does that mean?
Kevin snapped upright, coughing to mask his agitation, his hands trembling just a fraction.
Darling, youve got it all wrong, he rushed, its just a joke, a coworkers prank. Were only fooling around at the office
A joke? Alice crossed her arms, feeling a chill despite the warm flat fooling around?
Im being honest, its nonsense. We just work together, nothing personal.
Are you sure? Because messages like that arent usually from just coworkers, Alice pressed, studying his face for the tiniest lie.
Im absolutely sure. Youre overthinking because of Mums illness. Lets drop it, go for a walk. The sun is out, we need fresh air.
His insistence felt like a desperate diversion. Exhausted from three months of relentless stress, Alice swallowed his reassurance, attributing it to nerves and fatigue. They walked, but the false calm lasted only minutes.
No sooner had they returned than another message from the same colleague arrived, even more explicit. A sting of jealousy pricked Alice, but she chose to confront Kevin first, not erupt immediately.
Jack, look at what she sent now. This isnt a joke.
Kevin took the phone; his face went pale.
Its its a mistake. Ill tell her to stop.
Youll write to her? Or should I do it? Alices voice trembled.
Alice, I love only you. No need to make a scene over nonsense.
The next weeks spiraled again into flights, hospital rooms, endless tests, and Jack the one constant in the chaos. Her mother improved a touch, granting Alice a brief sigh of relief.
***
March came again. Mother steadier, Alice managed another trip home, hoping to restore balance. But balance eluded her. A hurried glance at a string of SMS that day kept the words buzzing in her mind. She couldnt simply forget them.
She decided not to wait for another excuse and confronted Kevin directly.
Jack, I need the truth. I cant live with vague explanations.
Alice, Ive explained everything! It was just a clumsy joke. Why are you bringing it up again?
Because Im uneasy, Alice replied firmly.
Kevin hardened.
Alice, why are you making this worse? Everythings already complicated
I spoke to your colleague, Alice said, her voice turning icecold she reached out herself.
Kevin froze.
She wrote Alice continued, staring straight into his eyes Yes, I love you. Yes, we were something. What will you say to that, Kevin?
He stayed silent, his face turning ashgrey.
Leave, Alices voice quivered with suppressed fury pack your things and go.
No, he whispered youre making a huge mistake! I never did anything with her. She fabricated everything, and youve bought into some fantasy!
I dont believe you! Alice snapped her phone open, showing him the screenshot where the affair confessed everything Look! This is your joke!
Kevin lowered his head. An eternity of silence stretched. When he finally lifted his gaze, guilt and despair swam together.
Alright. I slipped. I love only you, Alice. Its true.
Slipped? Alice laughed bitterly three years of lies right to my face! How can you disrespect a person like that?
Its not a lie, I truly love you! Its just that you werent around, and I
Not around? Only cowards act like that! Alice shouted, taking a step back youre a coward!
But I never left you, Alice, I never abandoned you! he reached for her hand were together
Alice pulled away. It no longer mattered whether he stayed or went; the pain he inflicted eclipsed everything else.
You didnt abandon me? she asked, bitterly you bounced between us, but you didnt leave
I couldnt! I love you!
Love? Alice shook her head no, you stayed because it was convenient, not because you loved me. Im done dissecting your motives. I have to go. Mothers condition worsened.
Another flight. Another trek to the Highlands. Doctors, wards, the unending fight now she bore not only her mothers illness but the weight of her husbands betrayal.
***
Mother passed in August. By New Years, Alice moved through life like a dream, mechanically ticking off daily tasks. The house she once called a fortress now felt foreign. Jack was her anchor, the only thing keeping her from dissolving into endless grey.
When the first months of despair faded, she began to wake up, yet never fully recovered. Every glance at Kevin seared. She could not bear to look at him, hear his voice, see his face. Still, she clung to the responsibility of caring for Jack, who seemed to sense her turmoil.
Kevin, realizing the depth of his wrongdoing, tried to mend things. He stayed nearby, offered help, begged forgiveness, pleaded for a fresh start.
Alice, please, lets try again. I made a terrible mistake. I know. I never left when you went to see Mum. Doesnt that prove my love?
Her mind replayed the messages shed accidentally uncovered while wiping her phone clean. Words shed missed in panic now rose with terrifying clarity.
Youre my everything, he had texted the other woman.
And her reply, etched in her memory:
Did I tell your wife everything right? Someone had to push her. Any other woman would have left, but you youre a rag!
Alice watched Jack building a model in the corner, his concentration mirroring her own as a child. He didnt deserve a home haunted by his fathers lies.
Kevin entered with two mugs of tea.
Here, herbal tea. Please, have a sip.
Alice took the mug but didnt drink.
I cant, Kevin
Alice, we agreed time heals. Give us time. Ill do anything for your forgiveness.
Time? she smiled bitterly time showed youre a master liar. You stayed only because leaving became inconvenient, not because I was your love. Her words prove it. She wrote that she told you everything.
She was foolish! I told her it was over!
You didnt forbid her, Kevin. You chose the easier story to keep me from falling apart.
Alice inhaled deeply.
I cant forgive you. Not now. Maybe never. But I must live. Jack must live. Well live apart. Ill send him to his aunt for a couple of weeks, and Ill stay with a friend while I figure out what I want.
Kevin went pale. He understood this wasnt a pause; it was a real chance to lose everything.
Alice, dont do this. Please. Ill see a therapist, any specialist. Ill quit my job if I must. Just dont leave.
Im not leaving you, Kevin. Im leaving the lies, Alice whispered I cant love you now, and I wont live in deceit any longer. Well talk when I return. If I ever return, of course
***
…Alice never returned. Two months apart, then she finally decided the family would not survive, even for Jacks sake. Kevin changed jobs, cut ties with the other woman. Yet Alice knows that the young girl will forever linger in his memory, and she cannot accept that. Never.
