12May2025
Today I watched Lucy as she prepared to leave the childrens home. A new mum and dad were already sorting out the paperwork, and she would finally have a family of her own. She told me excitedly about her upcoming life: a trip to the zoo in Londonsomewhere I had never beenabout a puppet show where shed seen a real witch, and about apricot jam with whole pits that she loved to eat with a spoon.
I was five then, and as far back as I can remember I have lived in the orphanage on the outskirts of Manchester. Kids would come and go like the seasons. When Alex disappeared, I asked Mrs. Margaret, Where has Alex gone? She answered simply, Hes gone home, to his family. I pressed, What does family even mean? She smiled, Family is a place where youre always awaited and loved. I asked, And wheres mine? She sighed, looked at me sadly, and said nothing more.
From that moment I stopped asking about families. I understood that they were something precious, something I still longed for.
A few weeks later Lucy vanished for two days. When she returned, she wore a beautiful dress, her hair done up, and clutched a new doll. I burst into tearsno one had ever taken me away, and I felt utterly unwanted.
Mrs. Margaret entered with a cardigan and a pair of trousers, and said, Sam, change quickly; were expecting guests. Guests? I asked, bewildered. People who want to meet you. I dressed, sat on the garden bench and waited.
Soon Mrs. Margaret appeared, took my hand, and led me to the sitting room where a tall, bearded uncle and a petite, graceful aunt were waiting. The aunts scent reminded me of fresh roses, and her large eyes and thick lashes made her look almost like a blossom.
Hello, she said, Im Alice. And you are? I stammered, Sam who are you? She smiled, Wed like to be your friends, and we could really use your help.
What kind of help? I asked, glancing at the uncle.
He crouched down beside me and said, Im Dave. We heard you draw very well. Could you paint a robot for us? We need a picture of one.
Sure, I replied, what sort of robot? I can draw all kinds.
Dave fetched a large box from the bench, opened it, and revealed a shiny, new robotbright, gleaming, its parts catching the morning light through the window. My breath caught; Id never seen anything so grand. Wow, thats Optimus Prime! I exclaimed. Did you know hes the leader of the Transformers?
Yes, Dave said, do you like him?
Very much, I answered enthusiastically.
He handed me the robot and a set of coloured pencils. Take it, draw it, and then well have a chat, just like friends.
We spent an hour talking about everything that mattered to memy toys, my tiny bed, the boots that left my feet freezing in the courtyard. Alice kept my hand gently, while Dave ruffled my hair. Mrs. Margaret popped in and announced dinner.
Dave shook my hand and said, Well be back in a week. Will you have the robot ready?
Will you really come? I asked.
Of course, Alice replied, hugging me tightly until my knuckles ached. Tears welled in her eyes. Why are you crying? I asked.
Just a speck of dust, she whispered.
After dinner I raced to the room where the robot was kept, examined it, and began to sketch. Suddenly a group of older boys from the senior ward burst in.
Hey, Samhand it over! shouted one, grabbing the robot and tossing it into the air.
Its not mine! I shouted back. The boys laughed, saying it was everyones.
A struggle ensued; the robots arm snapped, and a leg fell out of my grasp. I sobbed as the broken piece clattered to the floor. One of the boys, still laughing, flung the remaining fragment at my face; it hit my nose and blood spurted.
Mrs. Margaret rushed in, took me to the bathroom, rinsed my face and stopped the bleeding with a cotton pad. Dont you feel ashamed? she asked gently. Our toys are shared, you know. And now the robot is broken.
It wasnt my robot, I sniffed, they only let me draw it for a while.
She gave me a reassuring smile. Just keep drawing.
I wondered how to sketch a broken robot, but I propped it against the wall, secured a leg with a cardboard piece, and began to copy its form. By nightfall, when everyone was called to bed, I had finished one drawing. The next day I added two more, then another, until the entire sketchbook was filled with robots.
The following morning I asked Mrs. Margaret, When will Alice and Dave return? Is it soon?
She looked at me sadly and said, A week has already passed, and they probably wont come.
Tears flooded my eyes; I blamed myself for breaking the robot, convinced thats why they werent coming. I stayed awake almost all night, thinking about the robot, Dave, Alice, and the ache in my chest.
The next day Mrs. Margaret entered the room beaming. Sam, get dressed. Someones here.
Who? I asked.
Youll see.
I opened the door and found Dave and Alice standing there.
Hello, Alice said, were here for you.
Where are we going? I asked, confused.
You mentioned the zoodo you want to go? she replied.
I do, I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks.
Dave and Alice hurried to my side. Whats wrong? Dave asked, eyes wide.
Ill be right back, I said, stepping toward the hallway, clutching my sketchbook and the broken robot.
Im sorry, I said, handing over the limp leg. Heres your robot, fixed as best I can.
Dave laughed, Thats ours, Sam. Were giving it to you.
I handed him the sketchbook. Look, Ive drawn it.
He examined the pages, nodded, and smiled. Exactly what we needed. Youre a brilliant artist. Dont worry about the robotIll repair it.
Now lets head to the zoo, Alice announced, helping me into my coat.
At the zoo, I was dazzled by the countless animals and birdsso many that I didnt know where to look first. The cheeky monkeys leapt from branch to branch, eating bananas, and I laughed until my sides ached.
Sam, Alice said later, wed love to have you over to our home. Would you like that?
Yes, I answered.
When we arrived at their flat in Sheffield, I hesitated at the door.
Come in, dont be shy, Dave urged.
Alice took my hand and led me inside. My eyes widened at the wallpaper depicting planets, the bed shaped like a little car, and the shelves packed with toys.
Who lives here? I asked.
Dave and Alice sat on the floor, each taking one of my hands. Dave spoke gently, Sam, wed really like you to live with us. This is your room, all the toys are yours, the bed is yours. If youre willing, you can stay with us forever.
Forever? I echoed, You mean Id be part of your family?
Yes, Alice said, well take you in.
But Im a stranger, I broke the robot
Youre not a stranger, Sam. Youre our son, Alice whispered.
Tears welled up again, but this time they felt warm. I nodded, feeling the weight of the orphanage lift from my shoulders. Ill behave well, I promised.
Dave and Alice laughed, lifted me up, and hugged me tightly. For the first time in my life, I felt truly seen, truly loved, and finally, a part of a family of my own.
