My niece turned up at my flat, but she was sore that I wasnt feeding her.
I live in London and my sister lives up in Manchester. Her daughter, Poppy, is dreaming of getting a place at the university there. Shell be moving into a hall of residence, but for now shes in town for a couple of weeks either to sit some exams or just to sort out her paperwork. I havent bothered with the details; I just know its normal to be here before starting university. My sister has agreed that Poppy can crash with me for a spell.
We never actually talked about who would put food on the table. If her mother stays quiet on the subject, theyll sort it out between themselves. I walk into the lounge and find Poppy sitting there looking dejected. I ask whats the matter. She says shed expected me to treat her to a proper hot lunch. I snap back, Im not going to feed you, and Im on my own schedule. Ive got to dash now! Call your mum and ask her to transfer some money onto your account, then go buy some biscuits, a few rolls and have them with a cuppa. And get the tea, too Ive run out! Come on, youre not a child any more; youre 18, after all!
Her mum hasnt spoken to me in ages, and she doesnt know that once the kids flew the nest, my husband vanished in the night and I threw myself into work. My days are packed with a brutal timetable, so Im only home sporadically, and Im knackered when it comes to domestic chores. A decent nights sleep would be a miracle.
Im not willing to sacrifice anything for a guest. Its lovely, of course, to see Poppy again. Shes grown up, more ladylike, but Im no longer the carefree, quickthinking Auntie Lucy who could have thrown together a feast fit for an elephant without breaking a sweat. Let her shop for her own groceries, chop, boil, fry or steam whatever she likes. Better still have her pick up something readymade so she doesnt end up wrecking my cooker or my flat.
Shes been all over the place, simmering down and then stewing in silence every day, apparently banking on a fullboard stay with her mum. Maybe things will settle, I dont know. Its hard to go from being the everhelpful, easygoing aunt to someone who cant be expected to run the household round the clock, especially after years of keeping the peace with everyone in the family circle. Even now Im still trying to be decent: Ive offered a free bed, albeit without the extra amenities. Ive seen a counsellor for advice on how to gently explain to my relatives that Im not as functional as I used to be. Theyll have to expect a little less from me now.
