Dont expect love if youre not comfortable, Stan shook his head.
After twentyfive years of marriage do I still have to earn love? Emily asked, eyebrows raised. Really?
Youre a clever woman, Stan replied, frowning. Is it that hard to see what I meant?
When a woman is called clever, Emily said, people usually value the opposite trait.
Again youve got it wrong! Your manipulation attempt doesnt count. In this case youre the one at fault, not me! Stan retorted.
Ah, in a specific situation, Emily said, what a fascinating scenario we have!
So, youre exhausted after work and need a break, and I, as a considerate wife, should not only stay out of your way but also bring dinner to the couch?
Emily, youre making it sound as if Im a tyrant! Stan pursed his lips. But, as a normal person, cant you see Im tired?
I get that youre tired, Emily nodded. But you can still walk to the kitchenyoure not a cripple, nor are you on your deathbed.
So youll only serve me food when Im exhausted? Maybe youd like me to become crippled, orGod forbidsomething worse?
Less talk, more action, Emily answered, pointing toward the kitchen. The kitchens right there.
Come on, Emily! Dont you understand? Im exhausted!
Stan, stop trying to persuade me! Emily raised her voice. Im tired from work too and I dont want to be running back and forth with trays. Youll probably ask me for salt, ketchup, sour cream, mayo, extra bread, or a garnish. Everythings already within reach in the kitchenjust grab it and be happy!
Stan nodded. With that attitude youll never earn my love, he said, shuffling toward the kitchen like a dying swan.
Actress! Emily snorted, settling more comfortably in her armchair.
She waited. She anticipated. And she waited some more.
Emily! Whats that supposed to mean? Stans voice echoed from the kitchen.
Emily didnt stir. Not a muscle twitched.
Emily! Stan burst into the room. Whats going on?
The pots in the fridge, the plates are drying, the microwave is where it belongs, Emily said calmly.
Honestly, Stan hissed through his teeth, thats absurd!
For the record, Emily smiled sweetly, Im also exhausted from work. The point?
Stan stared at his wife for a minute, cursed under his breath, and trudged back to the kitchen.
It could have sparked a fullblown family quarrel with tragic results, but the next day a visit to relatives was already planned. Emilys mother, Margaret, wanted to gather the family because its been ages. The excuse was flimsy, and gatherings had been postponed many times before, but this time they finally went ahead.
Margaret wanted everyone together simply to chat, not for any particular reason. Stan decided he would complain to his motherinlaw.
Let her give her daughter a proper talkingto! he muttered.
When the formal part of the gathering ended and dessert was about to be served, Stan blurted out, I understand, Margaret, but somethings wrong with your daughter!
He went on, Things are heading toward divorce territory! You could intervene, but life throws all sorts of curveballs.
Lord, whats happening? Margaret gasped, clutching her chest.
Yesterday I came home exhaustedwords cant describe it! I earn money for the family, and this week was brutally stressful. I was drained! I asked Emily to feed the provider, and she just pointed at the fridge, not moving a muscle!
Margarets eyes widened with shock, outrage, desperation, and horror. Emily met that gaze calmly, almost detached.
Never mind, intervened Emilys brother, Colin, but somethings off between Emily and me! Im a Sunday dad, you know. You know my exgirlfriend Annano shame, no conscience! I only get a weekend with my daughter Zina, and thats once a month. I live alone and collect child support. Cleaning? No time! I asked Emily for help, and she never refused because she knew where I was and where the chores were! Yet she sent me to the broom, tossed a rag under my feet, and told me not to be a pig!
She fell ill, apparently, added Emilys son, Daniel, and I politely asked her to iron my shirt for a date. She handed me an iron, played a tutorial on her tablet, and thats it!
Emily listened to both complaints without flinching. Her mother, however, was not amused.
Emily, what does that mean? Margaret demanded, exasperated. You were such a good girlkind, polite, helpful! Im ashamed of you!
Im not ashamed of myself, Emily replied firmly.
Sunlight can spot a stain, just as virtuepatienceno longer seems admirable. People now complain about patience, asking why one should endure so long. I wouldnt have put up with it! they shout. Meanwhile, burning bridges at the first convenience is praised.
Yet dialogue is lauded when problems are solved with words, not with smashed bridges. Delicacy was Emilys nature. She was raised to see each person as a separate world, and imposing ones own standards on anothers soul is at best foolish, at worst disastrous.
To understand someone, you must put yourself in their shoes, view through their eyes, think as they think, and only then judge actions. Following that rule, Emily empathised with a friend who had stolen her boyfriend. The heartbreak was real. First, she considered the boyfriends perspective:
He wanted more, and I wasnt ready. Karen was not only ready but wanted it. If Kyle had been ten years older, his hormones would have been under control. His decision made sense.
Then the friends side:
She came from a large family, constantly short on money, forced to watch younger siblings. Kyles wealthy parents made him an only child. For her, he was a ticket out of a cramped household, a chance at a better life.
That was just one of many examples. Emily never gave up at the first obstacle; she always tried to grasp what drove a persons behaviour.
At work she could spot when colleagues set her up, and she often proved her point and restored fairness. She never blamed the offender outright; she sought the cause. Every cause, unless its madness, has a legitimate claim and can justify the behaviour.
For her husband, Emily became a treasurea pearl, an invaluable gem. Most of Stans flaws were forgiven, turned into harmless quirks. Not every man knows how to compliment or court a lady, Emily admitted, so I wont abandon him for not buying flowers or opening doors. Ill simply slide my own chair at a restaurant if needed.
She applied the same understanding to Stans lack of domestic skills. His mother had always handled the housework, so he never learned to cook, clean, or operate the washing machine. Emily realised many men simply never acquire those abilities.
She still asked Stan to help, taught him when needed, but most of the time she did it herself. She also accepted that Stan showed little fatherly enthusiasm for their son, Daniel. Science says a man starts bonding with a child around age three, when communication and play become possible. Dealing with a crying infant is still a mystery that scares many fathershence Stans irritation when Daniel wailed and Emily spent more time with him than with her husband. Jealousy and fear explained his reaction.
When the marriage passed its tenyear milestone, Emily accepted Stans growing chill. The habits set in, and were not youths any more, so the hormones have settled.
She understood his need for outings with friendsworkhome, homework, a new view to refresh his mind.
A strange thought crossed her mind: would she accept Stan if he took a lover? She didnt need an answer because Stan never looked left; his loyalty remained intact.
Emilys life wasnt defined by a single man. Their son Daniel followed his fathers footsteps, preferring videogame battles over chores. Yet a bond formed between father and son over that shared interest. Emily realised Daniel saw his dad as a role modela natural outcome.
Her younger brother Colin, a few years her junior, loved noise, drama, and conflict. He often provoked others to feed his own energy. As a child Emily had cried over his antics, later recognising his jealousy and desire to control emotions. His marriage was brief; his wifes strong character clashed with his, leading to divorce, leaving their little daughter Zina without a full family.
Colin became a Sunday dad, never mastering household tasksmuch like Stan. Before taking Zina for a weekend, he asked Emily to tidy his flat and prepare a decent meal because he was content with takeaway food. Zina visited her father roughly once a month, and Emilys help was occasional.
Then there was Margaret, Emilys mother. People say Mother is sacred, and theyre right. When a mother asks for help, a child cant refuse, unless the request becomes unreasonable. Margaret never overstepped; she could clean and cook herself, but she invited Emily mainly for company. Emily appreciated the visit, staying while Margaret cooked and chatted, rather than just dropping by for a quick tea.
All this continued until Emily finally said a firm No. She admitted, Im not ashamed of myself, but I was foolish to think I could keep fixing everyones shortcomings while neglecting my own.
She realised she had cared for others so much that shed forgotten to care for herself. Im not a little girl anymore; its too late to change everything, but Ill now do only what I truly want, she declared.
If I feel like feeding Stan after work, Ill do it, set the table, wash the dishes. If I dont, Stan, you know where the fridge is! She turned to Daniel. Youre seventeen nowlearn to cook, clean, iron a shirt if you want it crisp.
She looked at Colin. If I want to see my niece, Ill come over and tidy your place. If not, youll manage on your own or hire help. Dont expect me to do it all.
She faced her mother. You can welcome a daughter into a clean flat and treat her well without forcing me to do everything.
Emily saw the sour faces of her relatives and understood they didnt like her new rules. She didnt want to be everyones convenience any longer. She wanted to be convenient for herself.
Im going home, Emily announced, standing. If you dislike the new game, I wont call you, and you dont have to call me.
Stan and Daniel returned only for their belongings. Colin stopped calling. Margaret phoned just to accuse Emily of selfishness.
Selfishness isnt thinking only of yourself; its demanding that everyone think of you first, then themselves. Reflect on that, Emily replied.
She might not have intended such a drastic shift, but life reshaped itself. A new life began for a new Emilyhappy because she finally said No.
The lesson is clear: caring for others is noble, but neglecting yourself creates a hollow shell. True fulfillment comes when you balance love for others with love for yourself, because only then can you give genuinely, without losing who you are.
