**She Knows Best**
There was another girl once. Emily.
The daughter of a friendthe one Margaret had already envisioned as the perfect match for her son, Michael. Quiet, obedient, and dependable. An accountant at a reputable firm. Most importantly, she understood and accepted the unbreakable bond between mother and son. Emily had even said once, *”Margaret, Id always ask for your adviceyou know him better than anyone.”* Such perfect words.
And then there was Christina. Impossible to reason with. Every offer of helpwhether about the best way to make Michaels favourite roast or how to iron his shirtswas met with a polite but firm, *”Thanks, well manage.”* That *”well manage”* cut Margaret to the quick. She was his *mother*. She knew best!
***
At home, Christina wasnt exactly living a fairy tale either. At nearly 30, she was still with her parents, raising her daughter and, of course, hoping for love. Michael had proposed moving in together within a month of datingthough without her daughter at first. Then, just two months later, he suggested marriage. *”Finally found the one,”* hed said, ready to build a life together.
Christina was over the moon. This was the blinding, all-consuming love shed dreamed of. When anyone tried to temper her excitementpointing out that infatuation was blind, that Michael wasnt marriage materialshed bristle. She loved him fiercely and was certain she could warm his heart, make him happy, help him *”spread his wings.”*
A month before the wedding, she sat at her mums kitchen table. Her mother sipped her tea, watching her with a strange sadness.
*”Christina, love you know Michaels not the easiest man, dont you?”* she ventured carefully.
*”Mum, hes just sensitive!”* Christina jumped to his defence. *”No ones ever understood him. But I do.”*
*”Its not about understanding, darling. Hes used to being coddled, living under his mothers wing with no responsibilities. Are you prepared to carry everything? Him, his mum, your daughter?”*
*”Hell pull away from her once we have our own family! Michael just needs love and support. Ill give him that.”*
Her sister, Victoria, was blunter. After one visit where Michael spent the entire evening ranting about his old boss without letting anyone else speak, she pulled Christina aside.
*”Chris, your Michael is a complete narcissist. Do you even see that? He doesnt notice peopleonly himself.”*
*”Hes just upset! You havent seen how tender and funny he can be!”*
*”Youre idealising him,”* Victoria sighed. *”Marriage isnt about tendernessits about who takes the bins out and brings you tea when youre ill.”*
Christina didnt listen. She thought her family was just jealous of her whirlwind romance. They didnt believe in real love. And she and Michael barely argued in those first months. She loved nesting in their new home, trying new recipescooking for him was a joy. Plus, he travelled often for work, so they missed each other. She ignored outsiders opinions, and when Margaret tried to become her chief advisor, Christina calmly brushed it off. Thank goodness Michael had his own flatthat gave her hope.
***
If Margaret could have stopped the wedding, she would have. But it all happened too fasther boy was nearly 34, after all. Her hope that hed dump Christina in three months, like all the others, faded. Worse, the brides large family got involved. Margaret refused to help with the wedding. She was the only guest from the grooms side and figured if the brides parents wanted an expensive do, that was their problem.
At the ceremony, she never took her eyes off the couple. Christina was clearly besotted, gazing at Michael adoringly. *”It wont last,”* Margaret thought. *”Shell tire of him. He could never live with her.”*
After the wedding, Christina moved her daughter in and set about building their life. Margaret lived across town but called and visited so often it grated. She criticised everythinghow Christina cooked, cleaned, even the socks she bought. Michael never stood up to his mother. Maybe he didnt know how. Seeing Christina try to *”fix”* him only made Margaret seethe.
When Michael lost his job, his mother doubled down. Daily calls. Unannounced visits with pies, checking the fridge and cupboards.
*”Oh, Michael, you prefer white socks. Christina, why havent you bought any?”*
*”Mum, enough,”* hed grumblebut he wore the socks she brought.
Christinas awakening was slow and painful. First, she couldnt compete with Margarets cooking or cleaning. Second, she worked longer hours because Michaels *”temporary”* unemployment dragged on for six months. He waited for a payout from his bankrupt firm, refusing to *”settle”* for anything less than *”worthy.”* They lived on Christinas wages and her meagre savings.
Once, when money ran too low even for basics, he said breezily, *”Just call Mum, borrow till payday.”*
She froze. *”Michael, were adults. Maybe you could actually look for work?”*
*”You dont believe in me?”* His face twisted. *”I wont just take any job! What, you want me stacking boxes?”*
Margaret seized every complaint he made about Christina, fanning the flames. *”She doesnt understand you, son. Doesnt appreciate you. I always saidEmily would never treat you like this.”*
She painted a fantasy where Michael was wanted, understood, valuedunlike Christinas world of nagging and *”grow up”* demands. He never argued. Just nodded when Margaret scolded Christina over unwashed dishes or muddy floors. Then, after she left, hed snap at his wife: *”Why cant you just clean properly so she has nothing to complain about?!”*
Christina fought back, of course. Argued, reasoned, pleaded. But she hit a brick wall. Michael obeyed his mother. He wanted to lead his new family but had been raised to believe she was in charge. Her word was law. *She* knew best. In a crisisbroke, fightinghe ran to her. Because she fixed things. Because she provided. Because she was safe. Shed always been his safety net. And financially? Hed never had to work hard for what he wanted. His guilt-ridden father had bought him everythingbikes, a car, even his flat by 30.
Even before the affair came to light, Christina realised shed married an eternal child, doomed to compete with his mother. So when someone sent her a rather *revealing* video, she didnt even confront him. She called her parents, packed her bags, and left.
Margaret was relieved. Finally, this foolish marriage had crumbled. Her boy was hers again.
Her first words to him? *”Youre a manthese things happen. Its her fault for pushing you. If a mans happy at home, he wouldnt stray. Dont worry, son. Mums here. Everything will go back to normal. Ill clean, Ill cook. And maybe Emily will visitshe always liked you.”*
***
Christina, though resolute, was shattered. In her family, marriages lasted. Divorcing after two years felt like utter failure. She expected pleas to *”make it work,”* to forgive. But they never came.
What happened next stunned her.
When she tearfully told her mum, *”I cant do this. Im filing for divorce,”* the reply was simply, *”Alright, love. Your rooms ready.”*
That evening, as she spilled every painful detail, her mother listened without interruption.
*”Leave him, darling,”* she said softly when Christina finally paused. *”Has Michael ever once put you first?”*
*”No. But youre not going to talk me out of it?”*
*”No. That man will never change. Youd be parenting him forever. Is that what you want?”*
Her sister echoed it: *”Thank God! Youve finally woken up.”* Even Gran, married 55 years, blessed the divorce. Her strict father, usually all about tradition, slammed the table: *”Good on you for not putting up with that rubbish!”*
And thats when a new fury erupted in Christina. She stormed back to her mother.
*”Why didnt you STOP me?!”* she screamed, choking on tears. *”You all saw what he was like! At the wedding, before the wedding! Why didnt you grab me, forbid it, make me listen?! Did you even CARE who I married?!”*
Her mother looked at her with infinite weariness and love.
*”Christina, my girl. What would it have changed? If Id knelt outside the registry office begging you not to go through with itwould you have listened? Would you have believed me? Or would you have hated me forever, convinced Id ruined your happiness?”*
Christina had no answer. Of course she wouldnt have listened. They *had* warned hershed just called them jealous.
*”Sometimes, the only way to learn to choose wisely is to live through the mistake yourself,”* her mother said gently. *”We couldve robbed you of that lesson. But youd have spent your life resenting us, wondering what if. This way? Now you know. For yourself. And that knowledge stays with you forever. It hurts, but its yours.”*
Christina broke down. These werent just tears over a broken marriagethey were tears of clarity. Her family hadnt been indifferent. Theyd been wise. Theyd let her fall so shed learn to see past fairy tales to real people. And that lesson? Priceless.
***
What do you think?
The hardest dilemma for any family. Whats bettertrying to stop a doomed marriage, risking a lifelong rift? Or letting a loved one make their mistake, supporting them when they see the truth, and being there when it all collapses? Wheres the line between care and controlling someones life?
