The Accidental Wedding
The summer was sweltering, and Laura lounged around her flat in a bikini. Why not? She lived alonewhen she fancied stripping off, she did. Besides, her long-awaited holiday had finally arrived, and if her two best mates managed to wrangle a week off work, theyd all dash to the seaside together.
One morning, Laura shuffled into the kitchen to put the kettle on when she felt eyes on her. Glancing across the street at the building opposite, about twenty metres away, she spotted a middle-aged man watching her intently from his balcony. She wasnt exactly naked, but she still grabbed a tea towel to cover herself. From that day on, the stranger tracked her every move. No more lounging freelynow she had to wear a dressing gown in the stifling heat, her kitchen lacking even a fan.
One afternoon, she stepped outside and looked up at the fifth floor of the neighbouring block. The man was there, as usual. Laura waved him over. He pointed at himself, as if to say, *Me?* She noddedwho else?
He appeared quicklya bit portly, with curly hair, though a shiny bald patch gleamed on his crown.
*Blimey, what a sight!* Laura thought. *Even uglier up close.*
“Hello,” he said, dipping his head slightly with a grin.
“Alright,” she replied. “Whyve you been spying on me?”
“Were on first-name terms already?” He floundered, caught off guard.
“After seeing me in a bikini, youve got to marry me now.”
“Dont mind if I do,” he shot back easily.
“When are we filing the paperwork, then?” she teased.
“How about now? Got my ID right here.” He patted the pocket of his waistcoat and eyed her. Laura rummaged in her handbag.
“Mines here too.”
“Shall we, then?”
“Suppose so.” She shrugged. *What am I doing?* she wondered in the cab, but she didnt turn back. They handed in the forms. Only at the registry office did they exchange names. The man was Geoffrey. Geoffrey Harold Wilson.
“Where to next? Shame my cars in the garage, but I didnt think”
“Nowhere. Home. And dont look at me like thatno courtship period. After the vows, were straight into proper married life.”
“Are you mad?” Her friends were horrified when Laura told them about the wedding in a month. “Youre off your rocker!”
“Relax, we can always withdraw the application.”
“Think about *him*! Hell be devastated.”
“His problem. Shouldnt leer at strangers.”
“Youre single, not a stranger. Laura, you dont even love him.”
“Did marrying for love work out for you?”
“Now I cant stand him.”
“Exactly. Maybe Ill start off indifferent and end up unable to live without him.”
Geoffrey kept watching his fiancée, baffled by her odd behaviournot that he was any better. Who was she? Yet hed follow her anywhere, just because she was gorgeous. He also noticed Laura avoided the kitchen now, aware of his gaze. So he hid behind the curtains, still spying. And it paid off.
One day, he spotted her lugging a massive suitcase before vanishing around the corner.
*Thats why shes keeping me at arms lengthone last fling before the wedding. Right, lets see if shes worth it.*
He threw on some clothes, stuffed a wad of notes into his trouser pocket (no time to pack), and raced to the airport. He spotted Laura straight away, chatting with her two mates. They flew to Brighton; Geoffrey booked the same flight but left hours later.
*Where do I even start? A million places she could be. How do I find her?* he mused, sitting by the English Channel. *What a waste of time.*
Thena familiar bikini. His heart leapt. *Thats her!*
The girls sipped white wine on the beach, completely oblivious. Laura had no clue her groom knew where she was.
He checked into their hotel unnoticed. Watching her was easyshe never suspected a thing. No men around, just harmless fun. Until they bumped into each other on the street. Laura struck first:
“So *this* is how you prepare for a wedding? Lounging on the beach?”
“Youre not here on business either.”
“Didnt see you around, so I fancied a break.”
“I saw you bolting with a suitcase. Had to follow.”
“Waityouve been *stalking* me?”
“Hardly. Just a pre-wedding holiday.”
“Same. You married before?”
“Yeah.”
“Kids?”
“None. You?”
“Divorced. No kids either. Marrying me to spite someone? Didnt even argue.”
“Nah. But with my looks, *youre* the one spiting someone.”
“Not at all.”
“Then why?”
“Fed up with pretty boys and gym rats. Fancied giving an ordinary bloke a go.”
“A crane operator.”
“Yeah, a crane operator. Speaking of, hows work without you?”
“Retired.”
“*What?!*”
“Worked in a steel mill. Retired at forty-five.”
“Thank God. I thought Im only thirty-eight.”
“Laura, youll never regret marrying an ordinary crane operator.”
“Hope not.”
Ten years later
“Remember how we met?” Laura murmured, snuggling into her husband.
“Course!” Geoffrey chuckled.
“Shh, youll wake the boys.”
“I promised you wouldnt regret it. So did I deliver?”
“Overdelivered. My mates are green with envy.”
“Cant help it. Theyre still chasing love.”
“Rightly so. Were not exactly conventional.”
“Doesnt matter. Long as were happy.”
