Im not your mother any more, Natalie said, her voice flat.
Well have to sell this flat, Simon said, eyes fixed on the floor, and the car too. These people wont leave us alone. Its not just me wholl suffer; you and Emily will feel it as well.
But we could go to the police
Police? I owe them, Simon finally looked up, and the interest is piling up every day until it feels like I could choke. Youll have to stay with my mother for a while.
And you?
I have to get out of here. I wont be able to repay any of the debts; the firms already been seized. Ill head north where temporary work pays well. Maybe things will settle down there.
Natalie had known the trouble was coming when grimlooking men with criminal records started showing up at their door, demanding to speak with Simon on the street. After each encounter Simon returned home looking lost, then angry, shouting at Emily for the smallest mishaps. Emily was only four; she wasnt a trained dog.
Simons business was obscure. Officially his company sold computer equipment online, but Natalie had no idea where the laptops and monitors were coming from. Most likely the goods were counterfeit, because whole shipments were periodically pulled from sale. To keep the business afloat Simon kept borrowing, and sometimes managed to wriggle out. This time, however, he couldnt and the fallout was severe.
Natalie had grown up in a village and could have moved back to live with her parents if she had to give up her flat, but she didnt want to quit her job. She was deputy headmistress at an elite private school that taught primarily English, and the headmistress, Mrs. Caroline Anderson, had already announced she would retire in a year, leaving a promotion open. Walking away would have been foolish.
Living with her motherinlaw was never going to be pleasant, either. From the moment they met, the relationship had been strained. At first Natalie was an unwanted daughterinlaw because you can see the village for a mile around you. Later, after she graduated with top marks and began teaching at the English specialist school, she was dismissed as a foreign lass who cant even make a proper shepherds pie. Yet Simon loved her pies and praised them, even though Natalie often didnt have time to cook at home because her schools extendedday classes ran late into the evening.
Mrs. Anderson was delighted by her granddaughter, but she was far from pleased with Natalie:
Good wives dont run off to the North.
He isnt running from me, hes fleeing his creditors. Hes drowning in debt.
And where have you been looking? A good wife keeps the household finances in order. In your day this was called running the home. Youve never even prepared a decent dinner for your daughter.
I cook whenever I have time.
Then why dont you have the time? What kind of school keeps you until midnight? Ill check on you later. Im sure youre already finding excuses to avoid your husband
One evening she dropped by the school unannounced, inspected the classrooms, and left even more critical than before. Everything was written in foreign fonts, which she dismissed, but stray cats roamed the corridors. Thats unsanitary, she declared. A school is not a zoo. Respectable women wont work in such a mess. She also noted how the lanky man who frequently glanced at Natalie seemed to be studying her, as if he could see right through her.
That lanky man was David Spencer, also an English teacher. He clearly liked Natalie, but he kept his distance, aware she was married.
The cats were part of a British educational method; the school kept a few Britishshorthair cats because it was believed that contact with animals made children kinder. The cats were allowed on desks during lessons, though they behaved themselves most of the time.
Simon occasionally sent emails, vague about his whereabouts, and his messages seemed to invite the attention of the men with criminal pasts who had already started asking around for him.
Then the emails stopped. Natalie grew worriedperhaps the creditors had found himbut her motherinlaw remained oddly hopeful:
If they had found him, theyd have stopped bothering us.
Then why did he go silent?
You dont understand. Hes a good man; he wont stay lonely for long
A year later, just before the school term ended, Simon wrote that he had met another woman and was now living with her. He didnt call it an affair; after all, they were never legally married. He said nothing about Emily, as if she didnt exist. Mrs. Anderson quickly offered an explanation:
He must know that Emily isnt his.
How? She was born while we were together.
With me, not with him. It happens.
Stop it, mother!
Im no longer your mother. I may be a grandmother to Emily, but from today Im just Elizabeth Moore, or perhaps no one at allthats better.
It was clear they had to move out of the former motherinlaws flat. Natalie could barely imagine the cost of renting a new place while still raising Emily. She could try to scrimp, but did she really want to stay in a city where, apart from her daughter, she had no family left? Her own parents, hearing of her troubles, had invited her back to the village, promising a teaching postrural schools always needed staff.
Mrs. Anderson put the prospect of a promotion aside for a moment:
Dont get hysterical, love. I intend to keep the school running, and the board is fine with it.
But where will we live?
Ill speak to the board. They might grant you a housing allowance or a loan for a rental. In the meantime, you can stay at my cottage. The academic year is ending, its May, theres no heating needed. My husband and I only use the place on weekends. When summer comes, you can take a break and visit your parents.
David Spencer offered to drive the few belongings they had leftclothes and a handful of dishesto the cottage. On the way he asked:
Where will you stay in winter?
Mrs. Anderson promised to find something to rent.
Why bother? I have an empty onebedroom flat. I live with my mother most of the time; shes ill and cooks for me. You cant survive on frozen pizza and instant noodles forever.
Well see. I plan to go back to the village in summer, maybe settle there permanently.
And what about the school? Theyre grooming you for the headship
They tried to set me up with a husband before; schools exist everywhere.
Emily thrived at the cottage. The fresh air flushed her cheeks pink, and she seemed healthier. She grew close to Mrs. Anderson and her husband, becoming part of a makeshift family.
Natalie thought less and less of her former life. It was painful, but perhaps for the best. Simon would have abandoned them anyway; he never wanted to register his marriage.
David drove them back to the village with Emily. They arrived in the evening, unloaded the few possessions, and David began to leave, but Natalies motherinlaw stopped him:
Stay a while, well have fresh milk for dinner
Natalie followed, saying:
Mother, youve taken David as my fiancé?
Isnt that right?
No, we have no relationship, and none is forthcoming.
Youre mistaken about whats being planned. I see how he looks at you, and Emily could easily fall for him
Natalie watched from a distance as David and Emily laughed together. Perhaps something could indeed develop.
The cottage, the village, the new friendshipsall of it warmed Natalies heart, recalling the simplicity of childhood. She realized that life, however tangled, often reshapes itself into something kinder. In the end, she learned that clinging to the past only drags you down, while embracing change can lead to unexpected peace.
