**Diary Entry 18th March**
“You dont know how to forgive,” my friend said before crossing my name off the guest list.
“Emma, are you really still angry with me?” Margot perched on the edge of the sofa, twisting the strap of her handbag nervously. “Its been six months!”
“Six months isnt nearly enough to forget betrayal,” Emma replied coldly, not looking up from the ironing. The steam hissed against the crisp white blouse.
“Betrayal? What are you on about? I didnt mean to”
“Didnt mean to?” Emma finally lifted her eyes. “Margot, you were seeing my husband for three months. Three months of sneaking off to the cottage Tom and I rented together. Three months of lying to my face, pretending things were fine between you and James when all along”
She didnt finish, turning back to the iron instead. Margot swallowed hard.
“Emma, come on. You know how I amI cant just sit at home moping. James is always away on business. I was lonely.”
“So you decided to have a bit of fun with my husband? How original.”
“It just happened! We were talking, he understood me, and then”
“Then you went to the cottage and slept in my bed.”
Margot flushed.
“How did you know?”
“Mrs. Wilkins from down the lane saw you. Called me straight away, said shed spotted you with some man at our place. At first, I thought it was James. Then she described him”
Emma switched off the iron and hung the blouse on the rack. Her hands trembled slightly.
“Emma, lets talk properly.” Margot stood and took a step forward. “Weve been friends since uni. Are you really going to throw it all away over one stupid mistake?”
“One mistake?” Emma turned sharply. “Margot, you slept with my husband! In my bed! And youre calling that a mistake?”
“Keep your voice downthe neighbours will hear!”
“I dont care who hears!” Emmas voice cracked. “You stole him from me!”
“I didnt steal anyone! You let yourself goyou stopped trying. When was the last time you dressed up? Asked about his day? You just buried yourself in work and bills”
Emma paled.
“So its my fault my husband cheated?”
“Im not saying that, butmen need attention, admiration. You were too busy with everything else.”
“Right.” Emma nodded slowly. “So I was a bad wife, and you were the perfect mistress. Fair enough.”
“Emma, dont twist my words!”
“How else should I take them? You think you had a right to him because I wasnt good enough?”
Margot realised shed taken the wrong approach.
“I just want things to go back to normal.”
“Normal?” Emma laughed bitterly. “Will you give me back my husband, exactly as he was?”
“He came back to you! He admitted it was wrong!”
“He came back. But now, every time hes late, I wonderis he with someone else? Every time you call, my stomach knots up.”
Margot sank back onto the sofa.
“I know youre hurt, Emma. But you cant hold onto this forever. You have to learn to forgive.”
“Forgive.” Emma tested the word. “Forgiveness is for people who are truly sorry. Youre not apologisingyoure justifying yourself.”
“I never said I had the right”
“You did. Just in different words. You think I drove him to it. That you simply took advantage of my mistakes.”
Margot opened her mouth but realised Emma was right. That was exactly what she thought.
“Fine,” she muttered. “Suppose I was wrong. Forgive me. Lets forget it ever happened.”
“Exactly.” Emma shook her head. “You want me to forget. But you remember every minute with him, and you dont regret it. You only regret getting caught.”
Margot paced the room.
“What do you want from me? Should I grovel? Whip myself? Were grown women, not schoolgirls from some romance novel.”
“I want you to admit you hurt me. Really hurt me. And stop trying to justify it.”
“Fine! I hurt you. Im sorry. But life goes onhow long will you punish me?”
Emma walked to the desk, flipped open a notebook, and crossed out a name.
“What are you doing?” Margot demanded.
“Removing you from Mums birthday list. Fifty-fifthbig party, all our closest people.”
“You cant be serious! Auntie Margarets known me since I was little! How can I not come?”
“Easy. Visit her another day. But youre not welcome at the party.”
“Why? We agreed”
“Because you dont know how to forgive,” Emma said, closing the book. “You cant apologise sincerely. You demand I forget because its inconvenient for you. But youve never once considered how I feel.”
“Thats not true!”
“It is. Otherwise, you wouldnt blame me for his affair. You wouldnt treat forgiveness like something youre owed.”
Margot stared at her. Twenty years of friendshipshared weddings, holidays, secrets. All crumbling because of one summer.
“Emma, does our friendship mean nothing?”
“It means everything. Thats why this hurts so much. If it were some stranger, Id have thrown her out. But I let you in, hoping youd see sense.”
“See sense how?”
“Realise what youd done. Apologise because you meant it, not because its awkward.”
Emma moved to the kitchen. Margot followed. The kettle boiled; Emma took out two mugs, then put one back.
“No tea for me?” Margot asked bitterly.
“No. Youre not a guest here anymore.”
“Youre really doing this? After thirty years?”
“Thats why I cant understand how you did it. Another woman mightve seduced Tom out of greed or stupidity. But you knew us. Knew we wanted children, knew we were struggling. Yet you decided your loneliness mattered more than my marriage.”
Margot sat heavily.
“I wasnt thinking straight. It just happened.”
“Just happened? For three months?”
“The first time, yes. Then”
“Then you chose to keep going. Every time, you picked your pleasure over our friendship.”
Emma stirred sugar into her tea.
“You know what hurts most? Not that you slept with Tom. Men are weakthey give in. What hurts is you sat in this kitchen, drank my tea, confided in meall while betraying me.”
“I hated myself every day!”
“Not enough to stop.”
Silence. There was no arguing with that.
“So thats it?” Margot whispered. “Were not friends anymore?”
“I dont know yet.”
“Then what about your mum? Why punish her?”
Emma set down her cup.
“Because I dont want to see you. I wont pretend everythings fine for appearances. I wont have her asking why were not speaking.”
“But cant we try”
“We can. When you learn to ask for forgiveness properly. Not demand it.”
Keys jingled in the hall. Tom walked in, freezing at the sight of Margot.
“Hello,” he said stiffly.
“Hi, Tom.” Her smile faltered.
He kissed Emmas cheek and sat at the table.
“How was your day?” he asked, avoiding Margots gaze.
“Fine. Margot came to discuss Mums party.”
“Right.” He poured tea. “Whats to discuss?”
“Emmas uninvited me,” Margot said.
“Good,” Tom replied calmly.
Margot flinched. Theyd been family friendsholidays, dinners, inside jokes. Now his voice was ice.
“Tom, you cant really”
“Cant what?” He finally looked at her. “Forgive you for playing me? You told me you loved James, that this was just a summer fling.”
“It wasnt like that!”
“Wasnt it? You said youd never wreck our marriage. That come autumn, itd be over.”
Emma listened, lips pressed tight. Margot felt the ground vanish beneath her.
“Tom, we had something real”
“Real? You sold it as a bit of fun. Then, when Emma found out, suddenly it was true feelings.”
“I was scared to admit”
“Enough,” Emma cut in. “First, you were lonely. Then it was my fault. Now its special. Whats next?”
Margot stared at the familiar kitchenthe table where theyd shared countless nights, the fridge plastered with holiday photos, the window where theyd watched sunsets. All gone.
“Emma, Tom stayed with you. He chose you.”
“He did. But that doesnt mean Ill forget.
