“You have no conscience at all. Can’t you see how hard Matthew is having it? He’s your brother; you could have helped him. All you ever think about is yourself.”
Mum called me not long ago, asking me to collect all my belongings from her flat.
“We can hardly move around the house because of your stuff,” she said.
That conversation came after I turned down Matthew’s request for money to cover the deposit on a flat. I wasn’t lending; I was refusing to give, because I knew he would never pay me back.
When I said no, Matthew stormed out of my flat, redfaced. He assumed I would simply hand over every penny I had, using his children and his family as the excuse, while I had none of my own.
I feel I have to speak about it, because my family has treated me unfairly, especially with the holidays looming.
When I moved to Cambridge for my studies, I immediately took a parttime job.
At first I lived in a hall of residence, then I rented a flat with a friend. I didnt want to rely on my parents, so I made ends meet and helped Mum at the same time.
Mum never took cash directly from me; she always asked me to bring useful thingsclothes, shoes, household items. And whenever I visited, I came back with bags full of groceries.
Mum lives in a threebedroom flat with Matthew. Our father passed away three years ago.
Matthew never cared for education. After leaving school he went off to work in the Netherlands, and the only thing he managed to buy there was an old car. Back in England he became a taxi driver.
Later he married, and he and his wife Eleanor moved into Mums flat.
They have always been tightfisted, living handtomouth. As soon as their wages hit the bank, they spent it straight away.
Mum and Eleanors parents often pitched in with cash. Matthew knew there would always be someone to bail him out, so he never bothered to earn more or improve his finances.
Now Matthew and Eleanor have two children, and a third is on the way.
They decided Mums flat had become too cramped and started looking at buying their own place.
I, on the other hand, live with my partner Thomas in a rented flat. We plan to marry, but have agreed to postpone the wedding until the time is right. Our incomes are steadyThomas works as a software engineer, and I run several online shops.
We dont waste money on frivolities; we save for a house of our own so we can live independently after we tie the knot.
Mum knew about our plans, yet she still hinted to Matthew that he could ask me for a handout.
“They want to buy a house but they have no cash for a deposit,” Mum told me.
When Matthew came to me and demanded money straight away, I said no.
He flew into a rage, thinking I owed him simply because he had a family and I didnt.
Later Mum called again and said, “You truly have no conscience. Cant you see how badly Matthew is doing? Hes your brotheryou could have helped. Youre only looking out for yourself.”
She added, “Come get your things from our flat. We cant get around because of your mess. And dont even think about coming for Christmas. Matthews angry with you, and I dont want to see you either.”
I didnt argue. Ill gather my belongings and put them in our rented flat. When Thomas and I finally buy a house, Ill make room for them there.
I could have lent Matthew the money, but I know he would never have returned it. He never even asked for a loanhe simply expected me to hand over all my savings because he has children.
Just because hes got kids
How would you have acted in such a situation?
