Again?! Listen, Emily, who was she really having that baby for? For herself or for us? I get home from work, want a bite to eat, a bit of peace, some time with you, and instead Im stuck looking after someone elses child!
He isnt exactly a stranger Emily shivered and sighed. Honestly, I dont like it either. But Sophie asked She needs her nails done, and you cant really go to the salon with a toddler in tow.
David fidgeted with the buttons on his coat and flung it onto the chair. Hed have to feed his nephew, and thats best done in something comfortable. The odds of ending up with blotches of baby purée on his shirt were fiftyfifty.
I get it, but you cant just put the nail polish before everything else, can you? Are you the only one whos looking after her? Why does our family feel like a crèche?
Mums still around, but she cant do it every day Emily started, reaching for the packet of spaghetti.
And you, apparently, can, David cut in. You can look after everyone except yourself and me.
He scowled at first, then let out a breath and relaxed a little. His expression softened; he knew his wife wasnt his enemy. She was simply indefatigable.
Emily, if you dont offload her from your shoulders, shell keep leaning on you, and youll be the one to take the blame. Whoever bears the load ends up carrying the weight.
Emily pretended to be engrossed in the dinner prep, but deep down she knew David was right. She just wasnt sure how to deal with it. She didnt want to become a second mother to her nephew, nor did she want a row with the family.
It all started innocently
Emma, Im feeling ill and Tommys with me I need to pop to the chemist, but I cant leave him alone. Im scared I wont get back in time. Please help.
Emily didnt pause. She sprinted to the front line without a hint of doubt, not even considering a delivery service. Her sister was ill, perhaps badly, and needed rescuing.
Soon rescuing became a regular thing.
Phone stuck in repair? Sophie rings. Out of groceries? Emilys on it. Parcel at the collection point? Emily darts off like a personal courier.
She could afford it. She worked from home with a flexible schedule, so she could slip away when needed. That didnt mean it was convenient. Sophies flat was a fifteenminute walk away. A roundtrip, plus time spent queuing, shopping and the little annoyances of everyday life, easily added up to an hour.
Emily now worked mainly evenings and sometimes nights, when no one was pulling her in different directions. David, of course, wasnt thrilled. Neither was Emily. She tried to talk to her sister.
Sophie, whats going on with Mark? Doesnt he pitch in at all? Emily asked gently as she handed over another Yodel parcel.
He does, but he works long hours. Hes exhausted when he gets home. If I can get a minute while Im in the shower, Ill watch Tommy, and the rest is on me, Sophie replied, defending her husband.
Sophie cared for her own husband, but not for anyone elses, not even for her sister. Emily furrowed her brow and fell quiet for a moment.
And his mum? She lives right next door, doesnt she?
Dont even mention her! I dont want anything to do with that old nag. When she shows up, its a fullblown headache that lasts all day. Shes not a woman, shes a fountain of unwanted advice. Id rather starve than ask her for anything.
Is there absolutely no one else? Lucys got a toddler too, about the same age as Tommy. Maybe you could share the loadone watches, the other runs errands. Or Claire, who isnt working at all.
I feel uncomfortable asking strangers to help. Theyre not obliged.
Its easy to stretch your own family, Emily muttered, sighing.
After that, she decided to try saying no. Even without Davids prompting, she knew it wasnt right to keep shouldering everything.
The chance came quickly: the next day Sophie called to say shed booked a slot at the salon.
Emily, come over and look after Tommy for an hour. Im due in ten minutes.
Sophies tone had turned into a command. She wasnt asking; she was stating a fact. It irked Emily. Why should she scrap her plans just so Sophie could get her hair done?
No, Sophie. I cant today. Sorry.
What do you mean you cant?
I cant solve all your problems for you. I have a life too.
I get it, but what am I supposed to do? Youre the only one I have. Ive already booked the appointment; I cant let anyone down. Shes got a strong character; she wont take anyone else.
Sophie, you didnt ask me before you booked. Im not your errand girl or your nanny. Sort it out yourself.
Fine, Sophie snapped after a pause. Its easy for you to say that youve got no kids. You dont know how hard it is.
She knew the truth, because her nephew was slowly becoming like her own son. Emily kept quiet; she was a nonconfrontational person, and even this refusal felt like a feat.
Sophie didnt give up. She roped in their mother.
Emily, how can you be so cold? Were sisters, you have a little one, and youre turning her down! Shes all we have! Who will help her if not us?
Mum, when she asked me to fetch medicine I went, because it was urgent. But now she calls every day about trivial things today shes suddenly desperate for a manicure. Is that really an emergency?
Shes a woman, she wants to look nice. Put yourself in her shoes.
Emily raised an eyebrow. Nobody had ever stepped into her shoes before.
Mum, if youre so clever, maybe you could help her.
Me? I can barely stand on my own feet! Youre the young one, its easier for you.
The usual chorusyoung, childless, still at homehad worn her thin. That day she finally drew the line and refused to help.
In retaliation they gave her the silent treatment for a whole week. Both mother and Sophie acted as if she didnt exist. Someone else might have taken it in stride, maybe even breathed a sigh of relief, but Emily felt stuck, wondering how to mend things with the family.
A week later Sophie called again, asking for a babysit while she got her nails done. Emily agreed, hating herself for it, but she slipped back into the freenanny role. It seemed there were only two options: be an outcast in her own family or endure.
Emily, youre too soft, then you start cutting corners, David warned after hearing the story. Be careful, or shell never learn to stand on her own.
Emily sighed and nodded. Late that night she mulled over how to say no without earning any grudges.
Her phone rang at the usual hour.
Emily, Im at my wits end the toddlers running a fever, crying all morning, and Im buzzing around like a hamster. I cant even use the loo. Come over, even if it takes all four of us to manage.
I cant. Ive got work. Weve got monitoring software on our computers now, tracking activity. I cant even step away for lunch, its all scheduled, just like in an office.
Silence lingered a few seconds. Sophie was trying to find a weak spot.
Please, just this once, the last time. Ask someone to cover for you, or take a day off.
Sophie didnt quite grasp the situation. Emily had no choice. She pretended to concede.
Alright Ill figure something out.
She hung up and texted Mark for his mothers number, saying his wife needed urgent help. Mark didnt refuse, and his motherwho lived nearbyagreed to pop over. Emily could even tell when she arrived because the messages started pouring in.
Are you completely off your rocker? Sophie texted. Why did you get her on me?
You needed help, so I asked her, Emily replied calmly. I cant be there myself, you know that.
Sophie read the messages but stayed silent. In that moment Emily felt a small victory. Not a war, but a tiny battle won. Sophie would probably sulk, Mum might be cross again, but now the sister would have to manage on her own or learn to lean on those who truly wanted to help.
